Until I Found You
by Lady Callista
Summary: Killian Jones had come to the small town of Storybrooke for some peace and quiet, and atmosphere, for his latest screenplay. He hadn't expected to fall for Emma Swan, his temporary landlady, who clearly wasn't looking for love. But he knows better than anyone that just because you aren't looking for something doesn't mean it won't find you. (modern AU, CS)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. All opening chapter quotes are from "Till I Found You" by Freestyle. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: I'm normally not a fan of AU, but it works so fantastically well in OUAT. I've read many amazing ones and just had to try my own hand at it. Reviews and constructive criticism more than welcome, as it's my first AU in a very long time, and my first in OUAT. CS as always, but with lots of other familiar characters as well. For those of you reading Stars, no worries, I haven't forgotten about this. But the idea for this story has been on the backburner for a long time, and I finally had to write it. They will both get my attention, I promise.

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoO_

 _"I had been badly hurt before._

 _Ever since then, I would ignore any chance for love._

 _I thought it was a lie."_

 _OoOoOoO_

Chapter 1:

"We're gonna miss our flight if she doesn't hurry." Ruby huffed as she loaded her suitcase into the back of her car, automatically checking that the plane tickets were in the pouch of the carry-on before she tucked it into the corner, leaving room for Granny's suitcase.

Emma chuckled as her friend brushed at her bangs in annoyance. "You make sure you've got everything, I'll go get her."

"Emma... she wants to go, right? I mean I know she'd do it for me in any case, but..."

"She wants to go, Ruby, and what's more you said she hasn't taken a vacation in twenty years." Emma grinned as she jogged back up the front steps of the home Ruby had grown up in. For the past twenty years, it had also been a Bed and Breakfast. "She's just nervous about leaving, once you guys are on the beach she'll have a blast."

"We should have picked somewhere other than the beach."

Emma stopped with her hand on the door, turning at the sudden morose tone in her friend's voice. And could have kicked herself, remembering how the last time Ruby had been on a beach she'd been with her. And so had Mary Margaret, and David, and a few of their other friends. So had Peter.

She knew what that was like, how some comment or thought would bring on a memory just when you finally thought you'd begun to move on. And Ruby's loss was much more recent than her own. "I know you're sick of hearing this, Red, but it just takes time. Take it from someone who knows."

"Cause you've moved on so well, Blondie." Emma took a deep breath, but before the barb could even fully register, Ruby was rushing up the porch to clasp her hands. "I'm sorry, Ems I'm so sorry, I just..."

"It's okay." Emma said softly, "I didn't mean you should find some hunk and have a wild affair, I just meant give yourself permission to be happy. Take the time to be with Granny, you're so lucky to have her."

"I know." Ruby reached around Emma to push the front door open, calling in an increasingly louder voice, "But if she doesn't get a move on I'm leaving her behind."

"Oh, hold your horses, girl, I'll be out in a minute. You can come get my suitcase if you want."

Emma grinned as Granny just yelled back, her voice calm and sweet, and turned to tell Ruby, "I'll get it, I'm sure she has a dozen things to remind me of again and it'll be faster if she starts now." She tossed Ruby a wink, surprised when her friend grabbed her hand as she turned away. "What?"

"You're allowed to be happy too, you know."

"I am happy." Emma smiled, and in a way, it really was true. She'd only been in Storybrooke, only known Ruby and everyone else for just over a year, and while it certainly wasn't the life she'd expected, it was the closest she'd ever come to feeling at home.

"You know what I mean." Ruby said softly.

Emma nodded, but only gripped her friends hands for a second before turning and jogging through the house to the rooms Granny kept off the kitchen for herself.

"Are you sure you can manage this, honey?" Granny asked the second Emma walked through her door.

"For the hundredth time, yes." Emma sighed as she picked up Granny's jacket from where it hung over a chair and helped the woman into it.

"Cause I could just stay for a few days, and then you or Mary Margaret could fly down, or..."

"Granny, she's had her time with us." Emma said softly, "And we understand her wanting to get away for a bit. Sometimes you just need to get away."

The accident, only a few months ago, still haunted her memories every time she drove down the road north of town towards the forest, and she hadn't been in the middle of it like Ruby had, she'd only seen the aftermath. And she'd lost a friend, whereas Ruby had lost a fiance.

"I just can't stand to see her how she's been the past few months." Granny whispered.

"I know." Emma murmured back. "You know it just takes time, and we're all doing what we can for her. But she needs this right now, and..." She heard Ruby's shoes hit the tile behind her on the way though the house and hurried to raise her voice, "And you know I'll be fine for two weeks. I can do this."

"I know you can, dear." Granny paused in the act of pulling on her gloves to give Emma a quick hug. She was one of the few people in town who knew just how well Emma understood. "It's not like we're very busy this time of year, the only reservation while I'm gone is Killi..."

"Killian Jones, I know." Emma grinned as she bent down to pick up Granny's suitcase. "He's a screenwriter who just needs a few months peace and quiet to finish a script."

"But he wants both room and board, and..."

"Granny, I know." Emma grinned as she slung her arm around the woman's shoulders and pulled her from the room. She loved the woman who had helped her out when she first came to town, she really did, but Ruby needed her more than the inn did at the moment. "You're the one that taught me to cook, well, stuff for guests anyway. Trust that you did a good job."

"Oh, it's not just that, but with only having the one guest, well, you'll be alone with a man we don't know, and..."

"You do it all the time, and in 20 years you've had what, three problems? Four? People don't come to little towns in the middle of nowhere to be idiots." Emma reminded her.

"I know, I know." Granny said as they moved down the front steps, "It's just, remember that a few years back all the tabloids were saying..."

"It's been almost five years, Granny, and it was ruled an accident." Ruby shook her head as she cut Granny off. "I saw you online, checking up on him since Emma would be alone with him, and other than having a reputation as a bit of a lady's man he's well respected in the industry."

"And we all know I can handle a Romeo." Emma flashed back briefly to a guest they'd had a few months ago, a guy named Walsh who had been sweet enough at first Emma had actully gone on a date with him, the only date she'd been on in the past year. And it had been fantastic, until he'd dropped her off at her apartment and wanted so much more than a kiss goodnight. When he'd tried to force the issue she'd put him down with first an elbow and then a knee. By the time David and Mary Margaret came down from their apartment upstairs, worried by the crash they'd heard, all that had been left for David to do was shove him out the front door.

"And if we don't get going, we won't get to Portland in time to make our flight." Ruby added as she jingled her keys.

"Besides, when did you start believing tabloids?" Emma asked as she loaded Granny's suitcase into the car and closed the trunk. "Or start judging people for their pasts?"

It took a few more minutes and more cajoling, but Emma and Red were well used to that with Granny, and then there was the round of goodbyes, but eventually the two Lucas's were off.

Emma wandered back into the house, the home, that was hers for the next two weeks. It was somewhat fitting, as it was the closest thing to a home she'd ever had. At least in the past 10 years. She'd taken a room here when she first moved into town, not that there was another option than this small inn about a mile out of town. In theory, it was Lucas Manor, but everyone in town called it Granny's. Not to be confused with her restaurant in town, which did actually bear that name.

Emma had hit it off with Ruby right away, and been basically adopted by Granny, which apparently wasn't uncommon when 'strays' came to town. There was a reason the whole town called her granny, after all.

She'd put in nearly as many hours working here over the past year as she had as a deputy, since she was only needed part time there. Her and Ruby had even run the inn, when all five rooms were full, for nearly a week when Granny had a nasty bout with pneumonia.

She knew she could do it, even if it wasn't her ideal job, but she still had to take a deep breath as she closed the front door behind her, looking around the family room. She knew the trust that Granny was placing in her, and there was no way she was going to let her down.

But her only guest didn't arrive until tomorrow afternoon, and so until one Killian Jones showed up Emma didn't have to start being an innkeeper or hostess. She knew Granny had spent the afternoon cleaning and getting his room ready, and she was on leave from the department to watch over the bed and breakfast. Which meant she had a night with nothing to do.

Emma decided to take advantage of the somewhat rare occurrence, changing into comfortable flannel pants and a tank top before wandering into the kitchen. Ruby and Granny had already eaten when she drove out after work, and she'd immediately begun alternating between listening to Granny repeat instructions she had memorized and helping her friend move Granny along. But she knew Granny, and grinned as she pulled out an individually wrapped serving of lasagna, turning the oven on to warm it and wondering if Granny would somehow know if she brought over her microwave for the next two weeks. The older woman hated them, and refused to have one in the house, despite how much easier it would make parts of her job. It wasn't that she was opposed to technology, the house had wifi and Granny updated the inn's Facebook page herself, but there was just something about microwaves.

Shaking her head at the eccentricity, she wandered back into the living room, starting a fire in the deep marble fireplace because she'd always loved it. Then she pulled up Netflix and scanned Granny's list, remembering that she'd been searching for movies by the screenwriter who was coming to stay. When the food was ready, she grabbed a glass of wine and settled in to see what kind of writer her future guest was.

OoOoOoOoOoO

He should have stayed in Portland.

The thought had been running though Killian's mind for the past hour as he navigated the dark country roads at a crawl, the combination of wind and rain keeping him from being able to see more than ten feet in front of him. What should have been a three hour drive had already taken nearly five.

He'd passed the road into Storybrooke nearly a mile ago, and wondered now if he shouldn't just go back and find an open bar. Surely someone would know of somewhere he could stay, because clearly he wasn't going to be finding Lucas Manor in this deluge.

He should have just stayed in Portland for the night as he'd planned, but he'd been strangely awake despite the time zone change from Ireland and desperately wanted to get out of the city. He could write anywhere and generally did, traveling the country and using where ever he ended up as inspiration.

He'd chosen Storybrooke in particular for his own reasons, but the pictures he'd seen of it had indeed shown him a small, quaint New England town, which was the setting he'd wanted for the murder mystery he was working on.

Killian had just decided to turn around when his headlights caught a large wooden sign sitting next to what he was fairly certain was a driveway. It was on the right and just over a mile past town, as he'd been told, but even though he could tell there was a light on the sign, it was unreadable through the storm.

He turned in carefully, following the gravel drive for nearly a quarter of a mile before, to his relief, he saw both a car and a house. He pulled his rental car in next to the old, bright yellow bug, already writing a backstory for it in his head.

It looked to be from the 60's, or maybe the early 70's and he imagined the elderly woman he'd spoken to on the phone and what she was like 50 years ago. Probably a hippie, driving the country with her friends, following bands and spreading free love and pot.

Despite the miserable drive and the fact that he was about to get very wet, the image made him smile. It might be dead on or completely off, but that was the joy of being a writer. The world could be whatever he wanted it to be, whatever he could dream of making it. If only real life worked that way.

Still grinning at the idea of his landlady in bell-bottoms and love beads, flowers in her hair, he pulled his overnight bag from the seat next to him. Everything else could wait in the trunk until Zeus got over his little tantrum.

There were no lights on in the house that he could see as he jogged to it, and he hoped Mrs. Lucas wouldn't be too upset at being pulled from her bed for an early guest. It was barely 11pm, yet he'd stayed at enough B&B's over the years to know how differently they ran from hotels. He preferred them actually, except at moments like this.

He doubted a knock would be heard over the thunder, and to his relief he found the door unlocked. If it hadn't been for the storm he wouldn't have gone in, but it was an inn after all, hopefully a late night guest wouldn't scare his landlady too badly.

He froze just inside the door, his first thought that somehow he was in the wrong place.

Lucas Manor was supposed to be the only house in the area, yet this looked simply like a home. Again, like the unlocked door, not uncommon with a B&B, but the blonde curled up on the couch, sound asleep under a throw, definitely wasn't his landlady, and there had been no cars to indicate another guest.

An empty plate and half a glass of wine sat on the floor at her feet, a fire burned low in the hearth and the credits to something rolled on the TV along with soft music, but he noticed the details only absently, struck by the beauty of the girl who looked to be roughly his age. He was just about to back out, seriously concerned he was somehow in the wrong house, when the wind whipped shut the door he'd left open in his concern.

She startled awake, sitting up at once, and he watched her eyes do a quick scan of the room before finding him by the door. "Can I help you?"

She sounded curious but not scared, which made him wonder if he had the right place after all. "I'm looking for Lucas Manor, but I'm thinking maybe I've gotten a bit lost."

"Nope, you're found." Emma replied, rubbing at her eyes as she tried to make her brain work faster. The man was barely more than a tall, shapeless shadow against the door, but his posture was non-threatening and his voice carried an accent that immediately made her think of the British lead in the romantic comedy she'd fallen asleep watching. She reached behind her to flick on a lamp, and seeing the remains of her dinner on the floor made her realize why he thought he had the wrong house. A guest wouldn't be sleeping in the living room of a B&B with dirty dishes on the floor.

And that thought made her realize that he was probably looking for a room for the night, and she rose hurriedly even as she looked back up at him and froze. He'd moved forward at some point while she was trying to wake up fully, and her first thought was that he didn't just sound like the hot lead from the movie, he looked like him as well.

He was, quite simply, one of the most attractive men she had ever seen. She couldn't make out much of his body under the leather trench that swirled around his knees, but her first thought on seeing his face was that he should be an actor and not a writer. His cheekbones were well defined, as was the jawline covered in scruff. It looked natural on him and was clearly well-kept, and matched the solemn yet full lips. His eyes were the brightest blue she'd ever seen, showing both curiosity and male interest that immediately made heat flush through her. His dark hair was plastered to his head, and she realized belatedly that he was dripping all over the carpet.

"You picked a bad night to travel." Emma broke herself out of her trance and hurried to the fire, tossing on more wood before rising to face him, cursing the blush that rose to her cheeks as he only grinned at the random statement, the twinkle in his eyes clearly showing he'd noticed her checking him out. Yet to her surprise and his credit, his eyes stayed on her face, despite the fact that she was bra-less under her thin tank top.

"I discovered that, lass." Killian took the fire as invitation, and moved towards it as he pulled his coat off. "My apologies for waking you, and I'll extend the same to Mrs. Lucas, but she's expecting me. Although not, I'm afraid, until tomorrow."

"Mr. Jones?" Emma questioned even as she took his coat automatically, moving by him to hang it on one of the many hooks by the door and grabbing a black sweater from one of them and sliding her arms into it before pulling up the zipper.

"Killian." He said automatically, eyes following her with interest as he held his hands up to the fire, grateful for the warmth after the dash through the freezing rain. She was beautiful, all slim lines and long hair, green eyes flashing with intelligence now that the sleep was mostly gone from them.

She nodded, tilting her head curiously as he pulled off his right glove and moved his hand closer to the fire, but left the other glove in place. His eyes caught her attention again, sparkling in the firelight, and she reminded herself that early or not, he was a guest. "Gran...ah, Mrs. Lucas is actually out of town for the next few weeks, but yes, we were expecting you. I can make some coffee or tea if you like, or if you just want to go up to your room..."

"I've been dreaming of tea for the last hour," Killian admitted with a chuckle, "but I don't want you to trouble yourself..."

"All part of the service." Emma smiled, having fully transitioned in her head to what Granny called _company mode._ Her and Ruby just called it work mode, but whatever the name it was a mindset that she slipped into with both ease and relief. It made it easier to ignore the dimple in his one cheek, the same one with the barely noticeable scar. And the way his voice lilted over his words, his phrasing obviously completely natural to him while being just foreign enough to her to be oddly fascinating.

"Even for unexpected guests, Ms..."

He trailed off again, and Emma realized belatedly that his earlier comment had been trying to get her to introduce herself. "Sorry, Mr... Killian." She corrected herself when he raised an eyebrow. "And it's Swan, but that should never be combined with Ms. I'm Emma, and I'll try to be fully awake from now on."

His grin was quick and breathtaking, and he chuckled as he answered, "It is nearly the witching hour, Emma, and I can only apologize again for waking you. I promise now that I'm here I'll be a model guest. But if you meant it about the tea..."

"Of course." Emma smiled, taking a deep breath at the way his accent caressed over her name even as she noticed his eyes flick down to her bare left hand, "I'll show you to your room, I'm sure you want to get out of those wet clothes..." She stuttered as his grin flashed again. His coat had kept his shirt mostly dry, though the black dress shirt was tailored to show that his body was far from the shadowy blob she had first seen upon waking. His dark jeans were soaked through however, and she could see dark patches on the shoulders and chest of his shirt from where his hair was dripping. "I can bring your bags in..."

He chuckled, "You'll not be going out in that, lass, and neither will I." He moved past her to the front door, absently tucking his right glove into his jacket pocket before picking up his carry-on. "I can get the rest later."

Emma nodded, and crossed the living room to go up the stairs. She wondered why he had left his left glove on, but had enough manners that she'd never ask anyone about something like that, let alone a guest. He followed her up the two flights and down the hallway, nodding as he passed her when she opened a door and reached in to flick a light switch before gesturing for him to go through.

His first impression of the room was comfort and charm. The walls were a soft, relaxing green, enhancing the nature watercolors that decorated them. From the stunning and clearly handmade quilt on the four poster king bed to the vase of buttercups on the matching oak dresser, and a scent of cinnamon and other spices that drew his gaze to a vase of potpourri on the nightstand, the room was a perfect example of why he preferred B&B's.

"This room and the other one on this floor both have doors to the bathroom, but that one's unoccupied at the moment. The doors can be locked from the inside or outside, from both rooms. We generally use it when we have families, but none of the rooms on the second floor have private baths, and since you're the only guest at the moment..."

"It's fine, lass. The room's lovely."

"Granny does a good job." Emma nodded towards the bathroom door. "There's soap and everything else you could need, and towels in the closet. I'll go put the kettle on, the kitchen is straight through the living room, or I can bring it up here if..."

"I'll be down in a few moments, if that's alright."

"Of course." Emma answered, "Just tea, or are you hungry as well?"

"This inn's reputation for hospitality is well deserved." Killian grinned as he ducked into the bathroom, blindly grabbing a towel to dry his hair. "Though at the moment just the tea sounds wonderful, although if perhaps it could be made a bit more Irish?"

Emma's grin flashed as she chucked, and Killian's breath caught at the sight. She really was just as lovely as his first impression. "Whiskey or Baileys?"

"Your choice, love, if you'll join me for a cup."

His eyes twinkled at her, and Emma had to remind herself to breath. The last time she'd been this affected by a man's mere presence had been over ten years ago, and that certainly hadn't ended well. But Ruby's words about having fun echoed in her head, and it wasn't like she would have to risk her heart. He'd only be here for two months, that wasn't enough time for her heart to be broken again. And she couldn't deny that his eyes had sparked a heat in her that she'd never thought to feel again. "Whiskey it is."

His grin was all the answer she needed, and Emma nodded as she backed into the hallway, "Welcome to Storybrooke, Killian."

She closed the door behind her, and it took Killian a long moment to shake himself from his trance, setting his bag on the dresser and pulling out a set of dry clothes. He changed quickly, contemplating a shower but feeling the first surges of jet lag starting to set in. And he wanted a little more time with his fascinating and unexpected landlady.

He hadn't come here looking for anything but a quiet place to write, and maybe an opportunity to covertly collect some evidence or at least gain some knowledge. But he was intrigued by the quiet blonde. By Emma, don't call me Ms. Swan. She'd been sleepy at first, clearly trying to wake up and focus on a conversation, but even then she hadn't been alarmed by a strange man in the room with her.

He'd seen the alertness in her body language, but she'd been polite and clearly unconcerned with his presence. Either life in a small town had left her innocent of the possible danger, or she thought she could handle any problem he posed. The second thought was more appealing than he wanted to consider... honestly, Swan was more appealing in general than he wanted to consider, and he stroked his fingers absently over his right forearm, whispering _Milah_ into the empty room before mentally shaking himself from his stupor and tossing his wet clothes into the bathtub before heading back downstairs, his thoughts turning once again to the intriguing Emma Swan.

She'd recovered quickly for someone roused from a sound sleep, and although he'd been intrigued by her blush at what he would barely consider flirting, he'd backed off quickly when he'd seen the spark of anxiousness in her eyes. He hadn't been able to help checking her hand, but if she was married she didn't wear a ring. Which didn't mean she wasn't involved with someone, but while Killian found it hard to believe such a beauty could be single in a small town, he found himself hoping she was. And feeling guilty that he didn't feel guilty about that.

Once again he absently stroked his fingers over the tattoo under his right sleeve before adjusting the cuff on his left to make sure it tucked into his glove as he entered the kitchen. "That smells bloody amazing, love."

"It's a special blend from Cafe Aurora, best coffeehouse in town. Decaf, with herbs designed to promote a healthy sleep." Emma quoted with a grin as he took a seat at the kitchen table and she reached up to pull the bottle of Jameson from the liquor cabinet. "There's a list in your room of all the town's restaurants, shops, coffeehouses, and the like. You also, as I'm sure Granny discussed, have the option of having any and all meals here."

"Thank you." He acknowledged as she handed him a cup of doctored tea. "I flew in from Ireland, and the time difference means that when I drop, I'm likely to do so for a while. May I request a time appropriate meal whenever I'm back on my feet and we'll go from there?"

"Sounds good." Emma acknowledged, taking a sip of her own tea. She loved this blend, and sometimes the whiskey she added was the only thing that allowed her to sleep. "I'm in the first room on the second floor if you need anything and can't find me around, or press one then pound on any of the house phones to ring all the others."

He nodded, and they sat for a few minutes, drinking their tea as she answered a few questions he had about the town. When he'd finished and said no to a refill, she rose to rinse out their mugs and he headed towards the archway to the living room and the stairs.

"I certainly can't say I mind, Swan, but I hope your granny was called away for fun and not an emergency."

"She's not my... everyone just calls her Granny." Emma explained as she turned out the kitchen lights and followed him up the stairs. Still, a flicker went through her that he'd cared enough to ask. "And let's just say it was a family thing."

He nodded as she made it clear it wasn't a topic for discussion, and smiled at her as she moved out of the staircase onto the second floor. "Thank you for the hospitality, and I'll see you tomorrow."

She nodded and they said goodnight before going to their rooms.

TBC...

 _Please let me know what you think? It's been a very long time since I've written something like this._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. All opening chapter quotes are from "Till I Found You" by Freestyle. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Wow, thanks so much for the fantastic reviews, I'm glad I got this off to a start that interested people. I'm going to be slowly introducing the other characters as the chapters go on, but there will always be more CS cuteness.

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoO_

"I didn't need anybody else, that was what I would tell myself.

And I believed that that was how it would be."

 _OoOoOoO_

Chapter 2:

It was nearly ten in the morning when Emma heard the rattle in the pipes that meant the third floor shower was on. She set aside the case-file she was going over once the shower turned off, making sure to tuck the folder into her backpack before heading into the kitchen. She had just opened the fridge, trying to decide if a late breakfast or an early lunch was the way to go, when she heard the front door open and her name called out.

"In the kitchen!" She called back even as she saw the jar with Granny's homemade waffle batter sitting prominently on the front of the top shelf. She grabbed it with a grin just as Mary Margaret swirled into the kitchen with her baby son Leo. "Hey, what's up? I thought you had parent-teacher conferences all day."

"They don't start till noon." The teacher settled in at the table the same way she would at her own, the way she always had at Granny's.

Emma smiled, remembering how long it had taken her to get used to that when she first moved here. Not only did no one lock their doors, but at Granny's no one even bothered to knock. Partially due to it being an inn, Emma knew, but also because Granny always had an ear and sensible advice for the troubled. Or for good gossip. "Taking Leo out to the farm?" She asked, referencing David's mother's place, which was another mile or so down the road.

"Well, that was the plan, but Ruth's got the flu. And I was halfway here before I remembered that Granny left last night, cause she'll always watch him if..."

Her friend trailed off, but Emma knew where she was going with this. She'd come here even once she remembered Granny was gone, meaning she was hoping that Emma could watch the baby. It wasn't like she had anything else to do, other than feed her guest if he ever came down, but even though Leo was nearly four months old and she'd watched him before for brief periods, Emma was still slightly uncomfortable around babies. Not only had she never really been around them, but they reminded her of...

"Lass?"

Mary Margaret's eyes widened as the male voice called out from the living room, and her head snapped in Emma's direction. Before her friend could ask the question Emma saw forming, she lowered her voice and said, "My guest was early," before raising her voice and calling out her location.

"Good morning, oh... sorry to interrupt."

"Guests are never interrupting." Mary Margaret and Emma quoted one of Granny's adages in tandem before catching eyes and grinning.

Killian grinned back, and Emma made introductions before checking that fruit and waffles sounded good. He agreed easily, saying he'd unpack his trunk while she caught up with her friend, and turning down her offer of help. "It's mostly boxes of books, for reference, and they're rather on the heavy side."

Mary Margaret chuckled, shaking her head even as Emma turned slowly from the refrigerator to face him, her expression warning him to choose his next words carefully.

To the man's credit, he was quick to realize his misstep, and raised an eyebrow and grinned as he continued without missing a beat. "Of course what I mean is that I've had nothing but airplane food in the past day, and don't want to wait a moment longer than necessary for those waffles."

Emma couldn't help but chuckle as he winked at her, the humor clear in her voice as she responded, "Good answer. Tea?"

"Always, although it's probably best we leave the whiskey in the cabinet this time."

"Well, according to your body clock it should be about five o'clock." Emma responded without even thinking about it. He laughed, full out, and Emma had to catch her breath. She'd thought he was hot before, but the pure amusement on his face made him even more attractive. And she had to stop thinking like that.

"Aye love, but that probably wouldn't help me adjust." He chuckled. "Anything I can do to help? Need any jars opened?"

"I think we're good." Emma couldn't help the smirk that rose to her lips as he made a joke of his earlier misstep, the way his eyes twinkled letting her know he didn't mean any harm by it. He thought he was being cute, and dammit if she wasn't charmed. "Although if I see any bugs I need squished I'll give you a scream."

Once again, his grin was fast and breathtaking as he chuckled. "Somehow I don't think you have any more difficulty with spiders than you do jars."

She blushed at the offhand and roundabout compliment before reminding herself that just because it started this way didn't mean it would last. "It'll be ready in about ten minutes, if that's enough time for you to unload." Emma hated the stiffness in her voice, but it was an automatic defense against the attraction. She was going to be basically alone with him for two weeks, and while she'd joked with Ruby about having fun there was a difference between having fun and risking her heart. There was a seriousness about him, a watchfulness behind the sparkle in his eyes, that told her he wasn't just looking for a few weeks of fun. And something in his eyes made her worry that he saw way more than she let anyone see.

"I'll at least get it all in from the car, as it looks like it's about to start pouring again." As it had the night before, what he already thought of as her innkeeper mask came crashing down, and he retreated just as easily as he had then. He'd never minded making a woman a little nervous, but there was a shadow in her eye that said it was more than that, and he was a gentleman. "Mind if I stack it in the living room until after we eat?"

"No, that's fine." Emma said absently as she turned, bending down to pull the waffle iron from the cabinet as she heard his footsteps retreating.

The instant the front door closed Mary Margaret broke out into giggles and Emma could only groan.

"Don't start, he's just a guest." Emma tossed over her shoulder as she started the iron to heating and grabbed some berries to wash.

"I'm sorry, it's just, that was so cute." The petite woman said, still smiling hugely. She looked like a proud parent. "You were flirting."

"No, I..." Emma's protest died on her lips as she realized that yes, she... they, had been. And she had been enjoying it until the instinctive flash of nerves.

"It's okay to like him, sweetie." Mary Margaret said understandingly, seeing the fear flash over her friend's face. She was one of the few people who knew enough about Emma's past to understand why she avoided romantic relationships. And why it took her so long to open up and make friends, why it took her so long to trust.

Emma took a moment to just breath, Leo catching her eye as he started to wake. The baby would be the perfect distraction to keep her thoughts from turning to the writer who for reasons she couldn't understand was just incredibly appealing. And it was more than just his looks. "I'll watch Leo."

Mary Margaret shook her head sadly, knowing better than to push Emma. "It's just for around four hours, David gets off at two today and promised he'd drive right out."

"It's okay, Mary Margaret, I don't mind. It just reminds me of..."

"I know." She rose when Emma trailed off, eyes flicking towards the living room as they heard her guest come in, the thump of a box of books hitting the ground, and then the door closing again. "I'll go get Leo's stuff from the car, and thanks."

"You can stay for waffles if you have time."

It was a peace offering and they both knew it, a way for Emma to say she wasn't upset with her friend's gentle encouragement without coming out and talking about it more. It was the way she communicated, and something all her friends had gotten used to.

"I don't, sorry, I have to be to the school in about fifteen minutes for the teacher's meeting." Mary Margaret truly did regret it. She had a serious weakness for Granny's waffles, she must have eaten hundreds of them while she was pregnant. Automatically adjusting the harness holding her baby against her chest as she crossed the kitchen, she checked to make sure Killian wasn't in hearing distance before turning back to Emma and saying softly, "Just give him a chance, Emma. He seems like a nice guy."

"You saw us talking for all of two minutes." Emma huffed as she cut strawberries maybe a little too forcefully.

"And I'm a good judge of character." Mary Margaret reminded her, not bragging but simply being honest.

"You did meet Walsh for five minutes and tell me he seemed like an ass."

"And I'm telling you Killian seems nice." The brunette grinned, not the kind to add insult to injury by reminding her friend just how right she'd been on the whole Walsh count. "And he totally checks you out when you're not looking."

Emma spun to her, eyes wide, but Mary Margaret merely grinned impishly at her and slid from the room, singing softly to her son as he began to wake further, cooing at her.

"I'm almost afraid to ask around here, but do you need a hand, lass?"

Balancing a pie in one hand, Mary Margaret turned from trying to pull the diaper bag out from where it had gotten wedged between the van's seats and smiled at the man who had immediately insisted she call him Killian. He had just passed a test she hadn't even realized she was giving him; he wasn't just considerate of Emma because he was attracted to her. Because Emma had mentioned that she worked with her husband David when she'd introduced them, and he was still being nice and offering to help. And doing it with humor no less.

"That would be great." She smiled, easily setting the pie on top of the box of books he was already carrying before managing to un-wedge the oversized diaper bag. And in exactly the same friendly tone, said softly, "Don't hurt her."

Killian almost tripped at the casual delivery of the blunt statement, eyeing her as she came to a stop beside him, absently stroking over her son's back. He thought of his earlier musings, of the flickers of fear and hurt he'd seen, and decided to be equally blunt. "So I was right in guessing that someone did."

Her eyebrow rose at the softness in his voice, and she thought of the way he'd so easily switched gears earlier when Emma abruptly stopped flirting. She tilted her head, considering him, and was surprised when he spoke again.

"I'm a writer, Mary Margaret, we're natural observers. And I've seen the look in her eyes before, I know what it means." Killian said just as quietly, moving them once again towards the house. He hadn't been lying when he said the boxes were heavy, and damp weather always made his left hand ache. He could feel her eyes studying him as she pulled the door open, and he nodded his thanks as he stacked the box on top of two others before handing her what looked like a blueberry pie.

"I'm hoping I'll be sampling that tonight, it smells delicious."

Mary Margaret smiled at him as she took the pie, both of them knowing they couldn't continue their previous conversation within Emma's hearing. "Granny orders dessert from the bakery in town every few days, bread as well. Just like every Friday they all go to her restaurant for the fish fry."

"Support other local businesses." Killian understood easily, giving her a nod as she crossed towards the kitchen with her load.

"Exactly." She winked at him before vanishing around the corner, and he headed back out to finish unloading. He had just grabbed the last two bags from the trunk when Mary Margaret came back out, and he could see her mind still working as she again stopped and considered him. He only gazed back at her, and after a moment he saw her come to some sort of decision.

"You're right that she's been hurt, and of course that's her story to tell. But my first instincts with people are usually good, and I think you're a good guy, so I'm just going to say this." Mary Margaret glanced back at the house, making sure Emma hadn't followed her out for some reason, before saying softly, "It's hard for her to trust, and she'd rather have the truth than anything else. Oh, and don't make promises unless you intend to keep them."

"I always keep my word, and the truth always wins over an easy lie." He didn't take offense, in fact something in him was glad that Emma had friends looking out for her. And he wasn't sure he would classify himself as a good guy in general, but in the way that she meant it he certainly was. He had never lied or misrepresented anything to get a lass into his bed, and he wasn't about to start with one that fascinated him in the way she did.

"And I'm the opposite of Emma. I trust someone until they give me a reason not to."

They exchanged nods and did the standard it was a pleasure to meet you and I hope I see you again exchange as well before she drove off.

Killian stood musing on that development for a long moment before giving himself a mental shake, heading back into the house with the last two bags. He judged it had been just about ten minutes, and sure enough she was just turning off the iron when he walked into the kitchen.

"The dining room is through there, " She pointed towards the other door out of the kitchen, "I can bring everything in and..."

"You don't have to bother with all that, lass. Unless you'd rather I not be in the kitchen with you." He deliberately kept his voice easy when he saw her mask still in place.

"No, it's okay." She smiled as she set up a second place-setting across from the first at the table.

It was her company smile, Killian saw that at once, and so he kept things light as they began to eat, telling her an amusing story about two of the passengers on his most recent flight, which easily flowed into other travel stories, all amusing now although some had been bloody frustrating at the time.

She didn't tell stories in return, but he could see her genuine amusement in his, and at this point every smile and laugh he got out of her he considered a victory. He had a feeling she had had far too few reasons to smile in her life. More than that, she was relaxing, losing the stiffness that had come with the flash of fear and was just being herself. He was careful to keep it friendly and not flirty, and was rewarded with the same hints of wit and sarcasm that were part of her fascination to him.

When they were done eating, he gave her a cheeky grin and offered to help with the dishes.

"Guests never help out with the work."

He heard the same measured tone in her voice that he had heard earlier when she and her friend spoke together, and guessed she was quoting Granny. He lowered his head as again he felt her pushing him away, he'd hoped she would understand the gesture. A second later his head snapped up in surprise when she spoke again.

"But under the circumstances, sure, and after I'll help you get all your things upstairs."

His grin grew as he nodded, she had understood and accepted his peace offering after all, and he rose to help her clear the empty plates from the table. If just this first meal was any indication, he was going to have to see if there was a gym in town. He paused as he set the plates on the counter and his eyes fell on his gloved left hand. He waited with dread for the question of if he wanted to wash or dry, but she surprised him again by simply passing him a dishtowel as she turned the water on. "We have a dishwasher, but it's on the fritz. Repairman is supposed to be out later today."

"Want me to take a look at it?"

"Are you offering because you actually know anything about dishwashers, or because as a man you think you should?"

Killian chuckled, glad she was still relaxed enough to tease him. "I know enough to fix a few of the common problems, although..." He tilted his head to study the front of the dishwasher as she scrubbed at the waffle iron. "Just how old is this unit?"

"Non-stick, my ass." Emma mumbled before flushing. "Sorry, um, probably about as old as we are."

He laughed out loud this time. "I'm hardly offended by such language, lass. Although I'm surprised to hear it from a small town girl." Something flashed in her eyes, and he realized he'd inadvertently touched on something personal. His first guess was that she wasn't from around here, now that he thought about it her accent was discernibly different from Mary Margaret's, the only other person he'd talked to in this area. So one of them wasn't local, well, possibly both of them but certainly at least one.

But she clearly didn't want to talk about it, so he went back to looking at the dishwasher as he absently began drying the iron as she passed it to him. "If it's that old I doubt what I know would be of much use." He moved to put the iron in the cabinet he'd watched her take it from earlier, watching her eyes flick briefly to the black glove on his hand before looking away. But all she commented on was that he had a good memory.

He'd had his coat and both gloves on when Mary Margaret was here, so she hadn't noticed anything, but there was no way Emma hadn't noticed by now. And he was living here, she was going to see sooner or later as the bloody glove got uncomfortable, especially when it was this humid, if he left it on for too long. As he took a plate from her, he said softly, "I'm surprised you haven't asked by now."

Emma caught his eyes, and he saw something there, a fragile trust he hoped was due to him proving his willingness to not push her. Her words were barely audible over the running water as she said softly, "When you ask people questions they tend to ask them in return."

"I'm fascinated by questions. Theories, puzzles. Comes with the job." Killian answered, his voice not much louder. "You have to understand people to write about them. But you have to let them tell you in their own time."

Emma's eyes softened just a tad more, and he hoped she understood what he was saying. He finished drying the last plate, stacking it with the others on the counter for her to put away, and hung the towel on a peg. It was the very fact that she hadn't asked, or even stared as did most people who were too polite to ask outright, that made him say softly, "It was a fire. I still have mostly full range of motion, it's just not a pretty sight."

His voice was matter of fact, emotionless, but Emma knew that was often the easiest way to tell painful stories, and she could see the loss in his eyes. Her thoughts flashed back to the incident Granny had mentioned last night, remembering the details, at least how the press had reported them. She didn't exactly stay up to date on Hollywood gossip, and actually found it slightly rude that Granny had googled him, though in retrospect she supposed she should just be glad David or Graham hadn't run a full background check on the guy she would be alone with. She'd thought it was kind of rude, but it did help her understand now.

It wasn't the damage to his hand that was the cause of the hurt she saw shimmering in the depths of the blue eyes that had darkened noticeably, it was the fact that he'd lost the woman he loved in that fire as well. And for a brief time been suspected of both her murder and arson, although he'd been found completely innocent of all charges. The fire had been ruled accidental, as had her death in it. But nothing had mentioned lasting damage to his hand, and she could completely understand why. Her own scars were on the inside, but she hid them as well.

"Whatever you're comfortable with." She said with compassion in her voice, careful to keep out any trace of pity. She knew he wouldn't want that. "It won't bother me either way."

He nodded and was just about to say something when a baby's wail came from the monitor sitting on the counter.

"I've gotta get him, sorry, I'll help you with the boxes as soon as I get him his lunch."

"Don't worry about it, lass, I've got them." Killian said as she opened the third door leading from the kitchen, the one he'd wondered about as it seemed an addition, and he saw it led into a living room, this one even more personalized and cozy and clearly belonging to the absent Granny. She came back with Leo balanced in her arms, the boy already quieting as she sang to him, the same soft lullaby he'd heard her friend sing earlier.

"No, a deal's a deal."

Killian remembered what Mary Margaret had said about not breaking promises to her, and even as minor as this was he figured it counted. "I think I'll have another cup of tea."

She smiled at him again, and he went back to telling her funny stories, considering it a huge step when she told him one in return. And not wanting to derail all the progress he seemed to be making, he refrained from saying aloud that she looked even hotter than normal as with surprising ease she helped him tote all his books up to his room after setting up a collapsible playpen in the main living room. Leo was obviously a frequent guest, yet he wondered at the sadness that would sometimes come into Emma's eyes when she looked down at him.

After checking if he needed anything else, she left him to unpack, and once again he found his thoughts drifting for a long time after he'd closed the door behind her, wondering at all the sadness in her eyes. He'd been telling the complete truth that questions, and just people in general, had always fascinated him, but he'd also meant it that he didn't push people.

And just the few small ways she'd already opened up to him told Killian that was definitly the right approach here. He only had eight weeks until his deadline, and he really couldn't afford to get distracted by his landlady, but he wasn't sure there was a way to stop that now. She fascinated him at every turn, touching more than his hormones for the first time since he'd lost Milah. He knew his first love would want him to be happy, he would have wanted the same for her, but knowing that and acting on it were two different things. But this was the first time he'd even wanted to try, and surely that meant something.

Though it wouldn't matter anyway if he couldn't convince Emma that he would never intentionally hurt her. With a sigh, he let her face flit through his mind as he started unpacking, wondering how he could earn her trust. And wondering why it mattered to him so damn much that he did.

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. All opening chapter quotes are from "Till I Found You" by Freestyle. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: I'm having so much fun with this and I'm glad you are as well. Oh, and as is common in CS AU, I'm playing with ages for a few people to make things work. And I did make one huge change to one of the backstories so that even you guys don't know everything that's coming. Hopefully no one will be too upset by it when we get there.

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoO_

 _"_ _I learned to rely on myself_ _a_ _nd I thought that I was doin' well_

 _Until you came with something_ _I just can't deny._ _"_

 _OoOoOoO_

Chapter 3:

They settled fairly easily into a routine, Emma adjusting hers as needed to accommodate her guest.

He'd told her about the deadline he was under, and wondered if meals had to be at a set time, because when he got lost in his work and it was going well he wasn't about to surface for something as mundane as food, as delicious as hers was. She'd blushed and mumbled that they were all Granny's recipes, and told him that his timetable was hers, as many of Granny's meals were designed to be quick yet delicious, and it seemed he would eat anything.

He had murmured that a good recipe still needed a good cook, and excused himself as her blush deepened.

He went out in the mornings, driving into town or the areas around it, gathering what he called local color and flavor for his script, and spent most afternoons writing. At least that's what she assumed he did locked in his room.

He took most of his meals at the inn, and was always friendly, telling her funny stories as they ate about various places he had traveled and people he had met, and there was nothing he didn't want to know about in return. But he always kept it light, retreating at the first sign that he had accidentally gotten too personal.

Emma found herself both able to relax into his easy company while wondering why he had stopped flirting with her. She should have been glad, and she was, but...but part of her was disappointed. She tried not the examine that part of herself too closely.

"Did I lose you, love?"

Killian's words abruptly pulled her from her thoughts, and she looked up from her nearly empty plate and tried to rewind her mind for a minute. He'd been telling her something about running into Mary Margaret at Cafe Aurora, but she'd been too lost in her thoughts to follow more than that. "Sorry, guess I was daydreaming for a minute there."

"That's alright." Killian said easily, "I was just saying that Mary Margaret wanted you to give her a ring when you have a chance, something about if you could watch Leo for a few hours one night or other."

"Oh, um, yeah I'll call her."

He saw that twinge of sadness in her eyes again, it seemed to always pop up when she talked about the lad, yet he couldn't understand it as she clearly loved both him and his parents. Trying to lighten the atmosphere, he asked, "I've been meaning to ask, is Leo a nickname for something?"

Emma chuckled, wondering how he always knew when to redirect the conversation. "Leopold, but you'll never hear anyone use it. It was Mary Margaret's father's name and she had her heart set on it, but David was really worried about how outdated it was, you know, the kids making fun of him and stuff. The compromise was that they would only call him Leopold, well, I guess you could say in private."

"And I thought Killian was bad." He chuckled as she rose and started clearing the plates, having to check himself from offering to help her. She'd allowed it as part of their deal that first morning, but for the three following days had insisted on Granny's rule that he was a guest and guests didn't help with the work. He still found it slightly strange to know that, since she did his laundry as well, she already knew if he wore boxer or briefs.

"I'd actually never heard it before."

"It's certainly not common." He agreed. "A bit more so back home than here, though there it's usually spelled with a C. My mum was a bit of a rebel."

She caught the past tense, but reminded herself that asking questions meant people expected you to answer them in return. He had actually been amazing about not asking the wrong one though, being true to his word on waiting for her to talk in her own time. It was part of what made her so comfortable around him, yet at the same time made it harder for her to ignore her attraction to him. Or the fact that it was growing. She kept her mind on that, refusing to let thoughts of her own unknown mother surface. She would never know why she had been named Emma Swan.

She was saved from having to say anything by the phone ringing, and she crossed to the counter to snag it. "Lucas Manor, how can I help you? Oh, hey Graham."

Killian finished off his lunch as she talked, casting about in his memory until he placed the name as the town's sheriff, both her friend and her boss.

"So... there might be a problem with dinner tonight." Emma turned back to him after hanging up the phone. "That was my boss at the sheriff's office. He needs to be at the town council meeting tonight, but David and Philip are both out with the flu. Which wouldn't be a problem except he just had to arrest a drunk and disorderly, which means someone needs to be at the station to babysit him until he sleeps it off."

"Is it inappropriate to be impressed that someone was that drunk at 1 in the afternoon?"

"His name's Wil, and he's taking his fiancee leaving town with another guy pretty hard."

All traces of humor left his face at the softness in her tone. He wasn't sure she was aware of it, but her mask had dropped completely, and he saw the understanding and compassion in her eyes. It didn't take a genius to figure out how she had been hurt. At least one of the ways, for he now suspected they were multiple. But she'd made it clear that anything that happened before she moved to Storybrooke was off limits. She wouldn't even discuss where she'd come from or why she had moved here.

"It's hard to lose someone you love." He offered gently, rising and approaching her slowly, letting her see his understanding of it as well. "I know that firsthand, and I'm thinking you do as well."

"No, I've never been in love."

Her mask and walls were back up in an instant, and rather than push he just continued softly, "I imagine you know this, it was all over the bloody press, but I lost my fiancee in the same fire that damaged my hand and arm. I'll admit I fell into the bottle for a while after that, which somehow mostly stayed out of the press, thankfully."

"It's easier when you don't have to think about it."

She whispered the words, almost absently, and again something in the way he was opening up to her made him get to watch her walls slide down again. Trying to maintain the fragile openness, he offered, "But it's worse as well, because when you wake up nothing's different except you're paying the piper on top of all your other pains."

"But for a while you get to forget, for a while it doesn't hurt." Emma flushed when he raised a knowing eyebrow, she hadn't even mean to say that, and stuttered, "I mean, everyone has things they want to forget, and..."

"And we're getting distracted, my apologies." He once again backed away, "What time would you need to be in town to babysit Romeo?"

"From 5 till about 8, and also I didn't think I'd need my car for the day, and a friend had some family drama, so I let her borrow it to get out of town. I mean, I can get a ride with someone, it won't be hard, but I'd either have to do dinner really early or really late, and..."

"I can drive you into town, love, it's not a problem." He interrupted, and seeing a way to solve two problems at once added, "And I can bring take-out from Granny's to the station, I've yet to have anything but breakfast there."

"I couldn't possibly ask you to change your schedule, I'll just..."

"Emma." He said her name rarely, generally just calling her lass or love as he did most women, a habit he'd grown up with as his brother had done it as well. That meant her name was all the more effective when he said it softly, and she broke off at once as he continued, "I don't have a schedule, not the way you're thinking, and I was planning on checking out more of the town tonight anyway. The pub was empty during the day, I'm hoping it will have a bit more atmosphere tonight."

"It's not bad." Emma replied, taking a deep breath. The offer really did make things easier, solving both problems at once, and he seemed completely truthful that it didn't inconvenience him. "And okay, sure, thanks. We should leave about quarter to five."

He nodded, "I'll be in my room, writing, until then. But it's actually been going badly the past day or so, which was why I planned on going out tonight. Sometimes I just need to stop thinking too hard and live a little."

She heard the double meaning in the words, and remembered both Ruby and Mary Margaret basically telling her the same thing. He was only going to be here for eight, well, seven and a half weeks now, so she wasn't going into this with expectations of a boyfriend or anything more. But a spring fling, a lover for more than a single night, now that could be fun. Just like he was fun, and funny. He was cheeky yet respectful. He was sweet, and nice, but there was just that slightest hint in his eyes sometimes that he could be dark and dangerous as well. Every new facet made her more intrigued, and, well, there was nothing wrong with how he looked either. And it wasn't like she was risking her heart again, she was just having fun for a few months.

Before she could chicken out, she offered, "If you want, we could both eat at the station, and then go get a drink once Graham is back."

It was on the tip of his tongue to teasingly ask her if she was asking him on a date, but there was a hesitation to her offer that said it could be withdrawn depending on his reaction. It was a lowering of her walls, an offer to spend time with him outside of the interactions caused by their living situation. And he wasn't going to say no to any step forward. "That sounds wonderful, love. So, you're an innkeeper, a cook, a deputy, and a tour guide as well. Is there anything you can't do?"

"I suck at parallel parking."

Killian burst out laughing, always glad when she was comfortable enough with him to just be herself.

"I suck at this, too." She whispered.

He cocked his head, trying to make sure he had heard her correctly, eyes widening in wonder at the sudden blush that rushed to her face. Her facial expressions were shifting almost faster than he could follow, and as she took just the tiniest step forward he realized that maybe she actually was trying to ask him on a date. Or at least a no-pressure version of one. He'd been so bloody busy trying not to flirt with her that he'd completely missed that she was the one trying.

Emma flushed as he only stared at her, glancing down at her feet, suddenly unsure of what to say. She'd never asked a man out on a date, unless it was job related, and his calling her a tour guide had stung more than it should. She startled when his fingers came into her line of vision, but although he gave her ample time she didn't move away as his index finger gently brushed under her chin, urging her to raise her face.

She saw the understanding in his eyes as soon as she met them, and watched as they darkened slightly, her breath hitching as his fingers ghosted along her cheek. She could see a million thoughts running through his mind, and had nearly as many clamoring for attention in her own head, but above all was the relief that he got it. For the first time she felt relief instead of fear at how well he could read her.

"Why now, Emma?"

"Because rather than being happy that you stopped flirting with me, I missed it." She answered honestly, watching his face for signs of ego or machismo. Those were the two things she had completely missed spotting in Walsh until it was too late. But he only smiled softly.

"I'm a patient man, love." Killian shifted a fraction closer to her. "I'd rather be friends with my landlady than have her annoyed at me, or worse, nervous around me. And I'd rather she tell me to sod off than lie to me."

Emma took a deep breath, but she knew what he meant. She had to close her eyes, had to look away from the intensity in his eyes, and so was shocked when he spoke softly.

"You're something of an open book, love, and I know what the look in your eyes means. I know what it is to be alone and betrayed. And some of the things you've said, or, well... for someone who claims to have never been in love, you often seem to know a great deal about it."

"Maybe I was in love, once." Emma said softly. "I've got to do some work in the greenhouse, I'll see you at quarter to five."

"It's a date." Killian said the words just as softly, and was rewarded with a small smile before she fled the room.

OoOoO A few hours later OoOoO

Killian had dropped her at the station at five, needing to grab some books from the library before it closed and promising to return at six with dinner. As there was nothing from Granny's she didn't like, she'd told him to surprise her, curious as to how he would react. He'd only grinned and nodded before driving away.

She'd sat at the outer desk for the first thirty minutes, arguing with herself over what the hell she was doing. But for the first time in a long time, the nerves were more anticipation that fear.

"I'm being an idiot." Emma grumbled to herself as she stood in the small women's room of the station, doing her make-up in the tiny mirror. She'd spent nearly a half hour picking her outfit, something she also berated herself for as she normally grabbed the first shirt she found when reaching in the closet.

He'd seen her in pajamas and old gardening t-shirts. He'd seen her with no make-up and her hair in a ratty ponytail. Because of their current living arrangement it was like they were doing things backwards. He'd never seen her in a dress though, or with full make-up and an up-do.

It was almost six now, and she rushed from the bathroom, stuffing her emergency make-up bag back into a desk drawer. It was the first time she'd used it since Ruby forced it on her.

She stopped for a moment, wondering how Ruby was doing. She hadn't called yet, but Granny had texted a few times with smiley faces, so Emma hoped the away time had been exactly what Ruby needed. She jerked out of her thoughts at a staccato rap on the door.

Who knocked on the office door when the station was open, she wondered as she crossed to open it. It occurred to her partway there that his hands were probably full of take-out, and she hurried to pull the door open.

He stood in the doorway with a huge grin on his face, the bag of food dangling from his bad hand and a single red rose held up in his right.

Emma's heart clenched as she realized he was the first man to ever bring her a flower, and fast on the heels of that she realized what he was doing. She realized why he had knocked, and still now wasn't coming in. She realized he had somehow changed as well. Her dress had been hidden in her backpack, thankfully it didn't wrinkle, but she didn't know where the black dress pants or deep blue dress-shirt had come from. It perfectly matched his eyes and for a moment all she could do was stare.

Despite how unconventional it was, he was treating this like a real, proper first date.

Emma took the rose from him, feeling herself blush as his eyes left her face for the first time. She saw his adam's apple bob, jaw clenching as he swallowed harshly, taking in the simple yet sexy black dress she wore. His eyes returned to her face sooner than she'd expected, and the admiration was clear in his voice as he said softly, "You look stunning, Emma. May I?

His eyes were darker, tinged with attraction and more, and it was her turn to take a deep breath as he reached for her hand. She didn't understand what he was asking, but she gave him her hand automatically, nodding, caught in the spell of his eyes.

Killian brought her hand up to his lips, ghosting a kiss over her knuckles, lingering for just a second longer when he saw the mix of surprise and desire in her eyes. And then the fear flicked in and he dropped her hand quickly, for the first time worried at how silent she was being. "Lass, this doesn't have to be..."

"No, it's just..." She paused and he damn near held his breath, hoping she wouldn't retreat behind her mask. His patience, both now and over the past few days, was rewarded as he saw the last of the mask slip away, and he knew how big a step this was for her as she continued softly, "It's just that no one has ever..."

Her gaze dropped to the rose, both her hands now fidgeting with the stem, and he tried to figure out of she meant no one had ever brought her flowers or no one had ever kissed her hand. The second wasn't entirely unlikely in this country, but if it was the first as well he could only shake his head, wondering who in the hell she had been dating. Wondering who she had been in love with, if he'd never even brought her flowers. But he said only, "You deserve to be spoiled, and if you haven't noticed I'm a gentleman."

"I have noticed." She whispered as she stepped back. "Thank you, Killian. Come in."

The sincerity that still held surprise made his heart hurt for her, and he forced his thoughts away from whatever man had hurt her, not wanting her thinking of the prat either. And so he teased as he moved past her, "Do you always invite gentlemen in on the first date?"

The teasing banter was easy to fall back into, it was already familiar and safe. And fun. But she heard the tones of other questions in his voice and replied with a grin, "No, but these are rather abnormal circumstances."

"Well, where's the fun in being normal?" He grinned as he followed her back through the open space and set the bag on the desk she'd obviously cleared.

"So, what am I having for dinner?" Emma grinned back as she ducked into the sheriff's office to grab a second desk chair.

"Well, there was this spinach and tofu salad..." He managed to keep a straight face for all of five seconds before he burst out laughing at the horror on her face.

"Not nice." She gave him a light smack upside the back of the head as she passed him to open the bag, and he only laughed harder. "You're lucky I can already smell the onion rings, or..."

Emma trailed off as she pulled the take-out boxes from the bag, grabbing a stray onion ring from the bottom of the bag as she did so and popping it into her mouth. She was glad she had done so when she opened the box to find her favorite comfort food, grilled cheese, because it gave her a second before she had to speak. There was just something about Granny's grill and types of cheeses that never tasted quite the same at home. "How did you know?"

Killian chuckled as he sat down next to her, tossing his coat over the back of the chair and taking the other container as she passed it to him. He wanted to tease her further, but knowing how nervous it made her that he could read her so well, he said easily, "You're a regular there, love. It wasn't hard to ask the waitress what your favorite order was."

She chuckled as well then, saying softly, "Hard, no. But most people wouldn't have thought of it."

"I'm not most people, love." He said it easily, but with a seriousness in his eyes that easily conveyed his double message.

"I believe that." She said softly before leaning back, grinning as he opened his own box and she saw his eyes widen. "You know how they say never get barbecue or spaghetti or stuff like that on a first date? Well, that might be worse."

"The lass recommended it, and they say you can always tell a place by their special."

Emma laughed. You could indeed, and with an oversized bun, three huge patties and four strips of bacon, not the mention the cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion and four, count them four condiments, Granny's Special Burger showed the woman's sense of humor.

It was absolutely delicious, and absolutely impossible to eat without making a mess. It was the kind of thing you ordered to go and then took home to eat alone. With a fork and a bib. And knowing her friends, and realizing that it would have been the same waitress who he asked about her favorite, so they would have known he was eating with her, she managed to stop laughing at the daunted look on his face enough to ask, "Blonde, brunette, or red-head?" She knew that with Granny and Ruby both gone, several people who had worked there in the past were helping to fill in, and she wasn't sure who was on tonight.

"Cute blonde, about your size and height, with a wedding ring and no other jewelry. Didn't have a name-tag."

Knowing his attention to detail, and having a prime suspect just from that, Emma asked, "Did she call you sweetie?"

Killian nodded, realizing he'd been had from the look on her face. But rather than taking offense he was amused. "She did."

Emma laughed again. "That's Ella, she quit about a year ago when she had a baby, she's just filling in with Ruby gone. I'll have to find a way to thank her. It really is delicious though, if a bit messy."

Given that the instant he picked up the burger sauce began dripping from it, he believed the messy part. The amusement faded as he realized that while it was a good joke normally, it posed a particular problem for him that Emma's friend couldn't have foreseen. Yet he tried to hide his discomfort, wanting to keep the smile on her face. He put the burger down and tried to be casual as he reached into the large bag of onion rings to swipe a few. "These are apparently to die for as well."

Emma stopped laughing, catching a hint of something in his voice that sounded forced, and she looked up from her first bite of grilled cheese to see that when he'd grabbed the rings he had taken some napkins from the bag as well and was trying, below the desk, to subtly wipe a mix of sauces from his black leather glove.

Despite him telling her of it the first morning, he'd never taken off the glove around her, and her eyes filled with understanding as she reached out, taking the gloved hand in both of her own.

He froze, but didn't speak, as she matter-of-factly took the napkins and turned his hand until she'd gotten the glove cleaned off. She squeezed his hand ever so lightly, dropping it immediately when he jerked. "Sorry, did I... I didn't..."

"It doesn't hurt, lass, if that's your worry." He said softly, eyes still down. "It's more foreign than anything else, no one ever really... I mean the doctors, and myself, but..."

"I meant it that I don't care, Killian." She said just as quietly. She understood though, and since she had always been better with actions then words, added, "But if you want we can split the grilled cheese now, then grab snacks at The Rabbit Hole if we get hungry later."

"I thought to myself, the morning I told you, that with our living circumstances you would see it sooner or later. The glove gets bloody uncomfortable at times, and cuts down on what dexterity I do have. But then every time I tried to head down to a meal without it on..."

She didn't say anything, but pushed the box of grilled cheese closer to him.

Her eyes widened when his response was to take a deep breath and unbutton the cuff on his left wrist. He held out the right to her without looking, and she unbuttoned it without comment, watching as he rolled up the sleeves of the shirt to his elbows. She could see the damage already on his forearm, although it wasn't that bad, just paler than the rest of his skin and with that weird texture and shininess that she'd seen on TV but never in person.

She also noticed the tattoo on his right inner forearm, fire burning around a heart, a ribbon wrapped around it bearing a name she remembered from the news articles. "Milah."

Killian froze as she reached out to touch the ink lightly, he'd been so preoccupied with his burned hand that he had, for a minute, forgotten that rolling up his sleeves to keep them out of the sauce would display that as well. It wasn't like she didn't know he had been in love, but he knew that seeing a reminder of it firsthand, especially when they were on an already tentative first date, had to be a shock. Instead of removing his glove his eyes flicked up to hers, trying to judge her reaction.

To his utter shock, there was only compassion in her eyes, and he knew his own widened as she reached up and pulled on the chain she wore around her neck. He'd noticed it was always there, but whatever pendant was on it was always hidden under her shirt. Even now, though her black dress was rather short, it was very modest in front, and realizing that this was very important to her he tried not to get distracted by the hints of cleavage that were displayed as she slowly pulled the pendant out, leaning closer so he could see it.

It was a round disc, not much larger than a quarter, gold and brown with a rough image of a swan.

"His name was Neal, and he didn't die, he just left."

It was all she said, tucking the pendant away again before leaning back and continuing to eat. It was a huge step, and one she obviously had said all she was going to about for now. But she had said that much, she had opened up that tiny bit. And he appreciated her casualness as he prepared again to remove the glove. She wasn't acting like this was the big moment they both knew it was, because while from his side it was, if she was being truthful about it not mattering, and he believed she was, then this really wasn't a big moment to her. Other than seeing whether or not he would trust her, and she couldn't act like that mattered too much.

He took a deep breath and pulled off the glove, tucking it back into his jacket pocket before picking up the burger and diving in.

Killian caught her eyes as they flicked to his hand, amazed when he saw compassion rather than disgust, and grateful there was no trace of pity. He'd just managed to take his first bite when the middle patty slid out of the bun and landed on the desk with a plop.

They both laughed, and the easy banter started up again as if it had never stopped.

They were still sitting there, chatting and laughing, two hours later when Graham came in, tossing his jacket at the hook on the wall and hitting it more through repetition and luck than skill.

A quick round of introductions followed, and Emma teased Graham that he was back just in time as she heard the first moans start to come from the cell. She ignored the considering looks Graham kept making between her and Killian, mouthing to him behind Killian's back to mind his own business.

Within minutes Emma and Killian were slipping into their jackets and heading out into the night.

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. All opening chapter quotes are from "Till I Found You" by Freestyle. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: And yeah, I know Ella was Ashley in SB, but I just love the name Ella and went with that one. Hope everyone continues to enjoy!

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoO_

 _"_ _I didn't know what I was missing_ _'_ _t_ _il I felt you tender lips_

 _Kissing my fears away._ _I'm so glad you're here today._ _"_

 _OoOoOoO_

Chapter 4:

"Wake-up, sleepy head."

"Huh..." Emma came awake with a groan, high-pitched chatter and the bouncing on her bed pulling her from a dream of Killian and her doing way more than sleeping in it.

"Morning Mimosas!" Anna chirped.

Emma rubbed at her eyes. Morning mimosas, a tradition of course started by Ruby, was what she and her friends called gossiping about whichever of them had a good date story to tell, or, you know, got lucky. But it was always done in whoever's house had the story, and... "No, no it..."

"You had dinner together..." Ella cut her off.

"Which we do almost every night..." Emma countered.

"In a place that wasn't the inn, and then you went out for drinks." Ella continued as if she hadn't stopped. "And you left holding hands, that's a date."

Emma cursed the gossip chain in small towns, but she couldn't really argue since they had considered it a date. She had just never been the one on the talking side of morning mimosas before, and most of her friends knew only the bare bones of her past. It was something she wanted to forget, not discuss.

"Who's all here?" She sighed as she rolled out of bed, knowing she wasn't going to get out of this. And part of her didn't want to; much like opening up to Killian, it was exciting even while it was scary. She'd never had girlfriends to talk about girl stuff before.

"Mary Margaret couldn't make it with David being sick, but it was Elsa's turn for breakfast and Aurora of course brought the coffee. And Belle's running a little late, but she'll be here."

"Please tell me no one skyped Ruby." Emma asked as they headed downstairs.

"We thought about it, but no."

Elsa handed Emma a flute of mimosa the instant she hit the kitchen, and for an instant Emma just stood there as they laid out food and chattered around her, not really sure what to say. But of course, her friends broke the silence.

"We waited for him to leave, but he's probably still full anyway." Ella grinned at Emma, winking at her even as they all settled around the table.

Emma laughed, remembering not the uncertainly and vulnerability on his face when he removed his glove, but the look on his face when he'd first seen the burger, and the huge grin he'd given her when he managed to finish it. "Probably. That joke never gets old."

"So... tell us all about it!"

OoOoOoOoO

Killian cocked his head curiously as he pulled up by the inn. Emma's bug was back, and so were two other cars, a shiny light blue convertible and an older sedan with an infant seat in the back. He was fairly certain the sedan belonged to Aurora, he'd seen it parked outside her coffeehouse most mornings, but he'd never seen the other vehicle before.

He walked in the front, hanging his coat by the door and sliding out of his shoes, checking that his glove was firmly in place. He promply froze in place as he heard the female voices drifting out of the kitchen.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Killian recognized the bright chirp of Anna, one of the waitresses at the diner.

"Well, we didn't, I mean..." Emma sounded nervous, and he only weighed the ethics of listening in for a second before moving closer to the kitchen archway while staying out of line of sight. He hadn't been being quiet until now, and they were in an arguably public place. And while he thought he'd had a good read on Emma and her enjoyment of their date, there was nothing like hearing it firsthand.

"So you had dinner, and drinks, with a guy you describe as nice, funny, and charming." Killian recognized the diplomatic voice of Elsa, the owner of the ice cream shop, and wondered if the convertible was hers. "You like him, and had a great time, but you didn't kiss him?"

"I do like him, it's just..."

"He likes you too, sweetie, I almost felt bad about the special thing when he was so sweet to think of asking what you favorite was. Although I did question recommending the onion rings on a first date. Is that why you didn't..."

"No Ella, it's not your fault, and they are my favorite. He liked them to, and it's not... " Emma's voice started out laughing, but then grew more serious. "We would have only tasted like rum by the time we got home anyway, but I don't have the best history with relationships, guys, and I just... I like him and I don't wanna mess this up."

"You won't, Emma, just trust yourself." Elsa said softly.

"And trust him." Ella added. "I know he's only been here a few days, but he's been like everywhere, and everyone likes him. He's all the things you said, and sweetie, that man is sex on a stick and knows it, but isn't an ass about it. If he seriously tried to seduce you... but he didn't even try to kiss you."

"No, he... he has this incredible ability to read me. I think he wanted to, I mean, I did too, but... but he does this thing where he kisses my hand, and his eyes get all dark, and everything just feels perfect and right, but... but it was like that with Neal at first too and..."

Killian's heart clenched at the softness in her voice, and he moved cautiously back to the front door. He'd been expecting gossip, not a baring of her heart that it wasn't right to listen in on. When she was ready to say things like this to him, she would.

"It's so crazy, cause like you said he's only been here a few days, but he's just so easy to be around. There's this, I don't know, this connection that I've never felt to anyone before."

The girls _awwwed_ in unison, and Killian reached out to silently open and then forcefully shut the front door, allowing its echo to cover his chuckle. The giggling and voices cut off at once, and he was bent over arranging his shoes on the mat when he heard a voice from behind him.

"You're back early."

Killian rose to face Emma, who was leaning with forced casualness in the archway from the kitchen, her cheeks bright pink. He had to force his mind away from getting distracted and wondering just how far down that blush went.

He gave her a soft smile. "Aye, love, I'm finding our night out was perfect inspiration for writing, and I'm eager to get back to it. And I noticed the cars, so I'll just leave you to your company."

Her blush deepened, and he heard a few giggles from behind her but deliberately ignored them. "Some of the girls just came over for breakfast. Did you eat yet, are you hungry or..."

The giggling intensified, and when Killian realized why he had to chuckle. Making sure to raise his voice, he called, "Did you remember to thank Ella for her lovely recommendations?"

A full on laugh barked out, and Ella popped into view behind Emma. "I'd apologize, but I wouldn't really mean it."

"Oh, it's quite alright, love, as long as you can take a joke as well." His eyebrow rose in challenge even as his eyes glittered teasingly, and he smirked as both ladies just gazed at him for a second.

Ella snapped out of it first, grinning back. "But of course. Around here, that's how you know you've been accepted. Screw up and the pranks get less funny."

Emma elbowed the other blonde at the significance dripping from the last two sentences, but Killian only grinned. He liked that she had friends to look out for her, especially since all the ones he'd met he'd gotten along well with. It was good to know they liked him as well.

"I've no intention of screwing up." He said the words softly, a promise to Emma as much as himself, and then smiled once again. "And no, I'm not in the least bit hungry at the moment, you ladies have a lovely morning."

"Happy writing!" Emma smiled back.

He had just turned to head up the stairs when Belle burst in the front door, a forest of daisies filling her arms.

"Oh, bloody perfect timing." Killian muttered. He'd called in the order hours ago, the minute the shop opened, but hadn't planned on being in the room with her when they arrived. He'd wanted to give her a chance to react privately, but now not only was he stuck but the girls were flooding out of the kitchen at Ella's urging.

"Sorry I'm late, but we had to put this order together. They're for you, Emma, from..." Belle broke off as she saw him standing at the foot of the stairs, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else at the moment.

All the ladies' eyes were on him, but Killian focused only on Emma, who looked surprised and just a little bit dazzled. He held her eyes for a long moment, waiting to follow her lead, and smiling when she finally said softly, "Killian, you didn't have to..."

"Of course I didn't." He chuckled, mentally apologizing to the husbands or boyfriends of any of the other girls, "But I wanted to."

Elsa immediatly took charge of the situation, pushing the other girls back into the kitchen and urging Belle to join them, calling out that they'd just get the flowers arranged.

Emma waved a hand in absent acknowledgement, smiling when Belle pressed one of the flowers into her hand on the way by. She walked slowly towards him, clasping his hand when he reached out to her, her smile growing shy at the heat in his eyes. "Beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman."

It was so cliche it should have made her laugh, but the sentiment was clearly real and so she only raised the flower to her nose, inhaling the gentle perfume before saying softly, "Thank you, Killian, really. I had a great time and they really are beautiful."

"You're welcome." He brought her fingers to his lips again, it was both natural to him and something he planned on doing more often now that he knew it affected her. "In case they lose the card, it asks if you'll go out to dinner with me tomorrow night."

She pretended to consider, but they both knew the answer. "Hmm, where?"

"Well, that depends on if you like Cajun food."

Emma grinned. "If I lived in New Orleans I'd weigh about two hundred pounds."

Killian chuckled at the roundabout answer. "So will you?"

Emma leaned closer to him, putting her hand on his bicep and going to her toes to whisper, "Yes," in his ear before brushing a kiss over his cheek.

He still hadn't moved when she slipped back into the kitchen.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Killian spent the next thirty hours lost in crafting his story, surfacing occasionally to eat from the trays Emma had started leaving outside his room when he'd stopped coming down for meals. He'd warned her he was liable to bite her head off if she interrupted him while he was writing, and requested when they first discussed meals that if he ever truly got lost in his writing that he'd appreciate being fed on occasion. She'd only laughed and agreed.

Killian took a deep breath as he finished his second reread without finding a single error, and only a few things he might want to change. He closed his eyes for a second, opening them and glancing towards the window, surprised at how dark it was and suddenly worried he'd lost track of time. A quick check of the clock confirmed it was only four, and understanding came quickly as he heard the patter of rain begin on the roof.

He tried to focus in on the page again, debating the benefits of one idiom versus another, but the rain was increasing and he could hear the wind picking up as well. A sudden flash of lightning abruptly lit his room, leaving him blinking at the after images even as he reached out, trying to find the cord of his laptop. He unplugged it just as the thunder shook the windows.

Killian saved the file quickly before powering the device down, glad he had unplugged it as well when a second lighting flash was followed by a crash that sounded close, and the power died even as the thunder echoed after barely a second.

He was fumbling around the desk trying to find his phone, the closest light source he had, when there was a knock on the door. "Come in, lass."

"You okay?" She stood in the doorway carrying a good sized camping lantern.

"Right as, well, rain. Do you know how close the hit was?"

"Sounded like the transformer up by the road, apparently that thing is like a magnet for strikes, like some weird unlucky spot."

"Really?" He asked as he moved towards her, nodding his thanks when she handed him a lantern as well.

"Yeah, it's bad enough Granny put in a generator about ten years ago, I've just gotta go down and get it fired up." Emma answered. "The heat's water, so we're fine there, and I'm sure the phones are out as well but we've got long range walkies. We'll check in with town, and they'll let us know if anyone in the area hasn't reported in."

He raised an eyebrow as she rattled off the list without sounding the least bit worried. "This really does happen often, doesn't it?"

"Well, not this precisely, but small towns have a special way of handling it."

"They take care of their own." Killian said softly. "It's a good town, Emma, I'm glad I decided to come here."

"Me too." Emma wondered which way he would take that, that she was happy she herself had come here, or that she was happy he had. The thought that it was probably both was a little concerning. "Although according to the forecast this is going to go on for most of the evening, so we should probably just cancel..."

"The reservation at the Lily Pad, certainly, but not the date." Killian said softly.

"But how..."

"We'll just have to improvise." Killian winked at her as they started down the stairs, his face briefly illuminated as lightning flashed again.

They took care of the basics, getting the generator and the fireplace in the living room going, it would be helpful for light if nothing else. She radioed in, relieved to find that everyone was safe. She came out of Granny's room, the walkie clipped to her belt, to find him with his head stuck in the refrigerator.

"So, improvise, huh?"

"Well, I noticed a stack of board games in the library, isn't that the tried and true way to pass the time during a blackout? We've only to find some quick and easy food, and..."

"Why quick and easy?" Emma wondered. They weren't wasting the generator on the lights, fine with a scattering of candles and the bright camp lanterns, and the stove was gas anyway.

"Well, darling, part of the fun of a date is getting to spoil you, it rather defeats the point if you have to slave over the stove. And since you won't allow me to help..."

"That's because you're a guest." Emma said softly, touched at his thoughtfulness. "But tonight you're not, tonight this is just my kitchen and you're my date... so if you can actually cook..."

"Of course I can." Kililan responded immediately.

"I've got my heart set on jambalaya, and it just so happens Granny has Tiana's recipe and all of the fixings. Nights like this always call for that or Granny's equally famous venison stew." Emma grinned as she pulled out a cookbook and found it.

Emma started collecting the ingredients as he read over the card, surprised when she came up from pulling the shrimp and sausage from the chest freezer in the basement to see that he'd already started washing and chopping vegetables. He didn't comment on the fact that he'd removed his glove, and neither did she.

She joined him at the counter, equally surprised at how easily they fell into harmony as they worked, chatting comfortably about food and moving on to other things as the meal took shape, the hour or more flying by with Emma barely realizing it.

Killian stirred the pot one final time before putting the lid on the simmering brew that was already filling the kitchen with a wondrous smell, and Emma closed the dishwasher after loading the last of the dishes they'd made into it.

All of a sudden, with nothing left to do, she felt awkward. "So, uh, we can eat in about thirty minutes, and..." She took her time putting the recipe card away, tucking the book into the cupboard slowly, not sure what else to say.

As always, Killian immediately read her and hastened to smooth the moment over. "There's always scrabble, although I'll warn you I'm a master." Emma's grin was quick and real, and gave Killian the encouragement he needed to slide closer to her, his hand brushing over her lower back as he said softly, "Although I will admit, one of the reasons I chose the Lily Pad was that they have a live band and dancing tonight. Would you have danced with me, love?"

A shiver went through Emma at the heat in his eyes, and her heart raced as she imagined what it would be like to be in his arms. The intensity in his eyes, the way he'd joked to calm her down, the way he was asking without asking, it was almost too much. Emma had to drop her gaze, but it only fell on the portable speaker, with batteries, that sat on the counter hooked up to her iPod.

Just the barest touch of his hand on her back had sent the heat racing through her, and she took a deep breath and looked back to him, hating the worry that was creeping into his eyes. And remembering his face when he'd seen her in a dress the other night, Emma knew how to apologize for all her mixed signals. Plus she loved the way he looked at her even when it scared her. "I still will. But my friends helped me get a new dress for this date, it would be a shame to not put it on."

Killian chuckled even as he rubbed small circles over her back, amazed and grateful that she wasn't closing up again. "It would indeed, I shall change as well. Will you laugh at me if I pick you up at your door?"

"Maybe a little, but..." Emma took another deep breath, saying before she lost the courage, "But you should still do it. Give me ten minutes."

Emma didn't count them after he agreed and they both headed up to their rooms, but knowing him it was ten minutes on the dot when he knocked on her door. The butterflies were both excitement and nerves as she opened the door to find him in all black, the definition of tall, dark, and deadly. The black dress pants weren't a surprise, but it wasn't a dress shirt he wore with them, but what she believed was called a poet's shirt, a light, flowing shirt with a deep vee neck that displayed an expanse of dark chest hair that for some reason was distracting and fascinating.

She was so distracted by the shirt that she failed to notice he was gazing at her with wonder, his gaze flicking up and down over the short, tight, siren red dress. "Are you trying to kill me, love?"

Emma grinned, finally breaking out of the spell and meeting his eyes, the nerves melting away at the mix of heat and softness in his eyes. "Just trying to see what you can handle."

"I can handle whatever you can, Emma. You look simply ravishingly."

Emma felt the blush rise to her cheeks as he swayed slightly closer to her, clearly wanting to kiss her but keeping himself from doing so. Like everything else, he was making it her choice, and she smiled softly as she took his right hand in her own, not wanting to push him quite yet.

"You're looking good yourself. And you promised me a dance." It wasn't a deflection, she really did want to dance with him, wanted their first kiss to be as he held her in a room lit only by fire and candles. It was one of the things she'd imagined as a child, and dreamed even after her conscious self was convinced happy endings didn't exist in real life. No, happy endings didn't exist, but happy moments still could, and what girl didn't dream here and there about her first kiss? And while this certainly wasn't her first kiss, it was the first one in a long time that would actually matter.

"So I did." Whatever he read in her eyes caused him to smile rather than worry again, and with their hands still linked they wandered back down to the living room, where she'd already moved the speaker and set it playing at random.

A soft, romantic ballad was playing as they entered the living room, and they smiled almost shyly at each other as he used their joined hands to raise her left one to his shoulder, sliding his fingers lightly through her hair before setting his hand low on her waist.

Emma trembled lightly as his thumb slid back and forth in tiny, arousing circles, but she didn't miss the way his body had stiffened slightly, and she understood why when she felt the barest brush of his fingers over her right hand, which still hung at her side. Even though he now seemed to be okay with her seeing his scarred hand, he was clearly uneasy about touching her with it, and she didn't know if it was because he feared rejection or because he himself was uncomfortable with it. "It's okay, Killian, it's just your hand."

His eyes shifted, something bright and hot going through them, along with a twinge of disbelief that was quickly hidden.

His touch became slightly more sure, but he was still hesitating to take her hand fully, and so Emma took his hand in hers. Deliberately keeping her eyes locked with his she did what was probably the cheesiest thing she had ever done. Imitating his move, she raised his fingers to her lips and kissed them softly, the wonder and relief she saw wash over his face making it worth it. She deliberately dropped her eyes to his hand then, compassion swirling though her as she realized how much pain he must have endured. She turned his hand over, wanting only to comfort him, to make him see and believe that she really didn't care, and so she dropped another soft kiss on a particularly bad spot on his palm.

Killian's breath hitched at the surprising tenderness of her touch, her walls and masks were completely down in this almost frozen instant, and he wanted to kiss her so much he could barely stand it. He was also on the verge of seriously profound tears at the clear truth in her eyes that it didn't bother her, that she didn't care. "Emma..."

Her eyes slid back up to his, green meeting blue with an intensity that made Emma take a shaky breath even as his hand cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing over the blush on her cheek even as his fingers feathered along her neck. "Are you sure, love?"

His voice was barely a whisper, and Emma could almost see his control fraying, a pure note of feminine amusement and pride flashing through her that she was the cause. With that joy came another flash of heat that was stronger than the fear, and for an instant she thought about just fisting her hands in his loose, ridiculously sexy shirt, and pulling him in for a kiss. She knew he was leavng it up to her, knew he wouldn't try to kiss her first, but that didn't necessarily mean she had to make the first move, she just had to let him know it was okay.

Still feeling a little silly about it, but for some reason wanting that childhood dream, Emma slid both of her arms around his shoulders, fingers playing with his hair. Both of his arms slid around her waist in reply, and she gave him a soft smile when he, deliberately she was certain, slid his left hand under her shirt to let his fingers play over her bare back.

"I can handle it." Emma whispered, rising to her toes slightly, and he understood instantly but she watched his face until she could see he believed it as well, that she actually was saying what he thought, what he hoped she was.

He whispered her name again, pulling her close, his hand sliding back into her hair. He could feel the heat of her body against his as he pulled her into a gentle kiss.

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. All opening chapter quotes are from "Till I Found You" by Freestyle. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Thanks as always for your lovely words, and I hope you continue to enjoy mine. Getting a little bit of steam in here.

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoO_

 _"_ _I was alone not long ago_ _w_ _ithout a love to call my own._

 _I was afraid and thought_ _i_ _t wasn't meant for me._ _"_

 _OoOoOoO_

Chapter 5:

The first brush of lips was soft and gentle, the kind that shouldn't have ignited fire in their blood yet did. His hand slid to the back of her neck, squeezing soothingly, massaging even as he softly pressed her head sideways, changing the angle just slightly before his lips brushed hers again. His other hand was still warm on her lower back, sliding perfectly between the top and skirt of her outfit, and he tilted her just enough for their bodies to meet fully as the kiss deepened.

Emma didn't know if the sound in her throat was fear or pleasure as the heat roared through her, but she knew the knot forming in her stomach was pure anticipation as he nipped lightly at her lower lip, his tongue instantly soothing, tracing over her full lower lip. The low groan she felt as much as heard rumble through him made her gasp, opening for him with a whispered breath of his name before she lost herself in his heat and strength.

Killian was lost as well. It was amazing, the way he could feel her skin warm under his hands, feel the pounding of her pulse and the softening in her body as one of her hands continued to card through his hair and the other slid down his chest to cover his heart, the tips of her fingers playing with the edge of his shirt.

She tasted like the wine they'd opened for dinner, one she promised was a perfect match for the jambalaya, and something sweet as well. So many subtle flavors, and the longer he kissed her the less he wanted to stop. He hadn't felt this heat and fire since Milah, hadn't wanted anyone like this since he lost her, and as Emma trembled in his arms to realized he had to pull back or he was going to hurt them both.

"Gods, you're tempting, love." He brushed a kiss over her cheek, whispering the words in her ear before he pulled back, his arms loosening but keeping her in his embrace, both his hands rubbing gently over her lower back.

"Killian..." It was all she could do to whisper his name, her body still humming, and she had to force herself to shift slightly back before she could even begin to clear her head. She felt the flare of panic at the flood of feelings and emotions running through her. He wasn't supposed to affect her heart, just her body, but the heat coursing through her was something she'd felt only once before. It had been eleven years, but she hadn't forgotten how it felt when the connection was more than just physical. Not that the physical hadn't been damn amazing.

He saw the hints of fear even through the dazed wonder and desire in her eyes, and slid both his hands up to cup her cheeks, for the first time since the fire not thinking twice about his hand. "I'm not Neal, love, or any of the other people who have hurt you."

Emma's breath stuttered as rather than backing off, or turning it into a joke, he didn't let her retreat. Yet the understanding in his eyes and the maelstrom still roaring through her made her whisper without thought, "But you're going to leave in the end, just like everyone always does."

Killian's hands slid down to her shoulders as he realized both the truth of her statement, and the hidden piece of the puzzle it revealed. It wasn't just a romance in general she was afraid of, it was people leaving her, and it was true that he had no plans to stay. "I've never said otherwise, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy ourselves for the time I'm here. You fascinate me, Emma, and I think it's clear I want you, but if this will hurt you then I'd rather just be your friend."

"Enjoy ourselves for the time you're here." Emma echoed the words softly, thinking how they had paralleled what she'd been thinking days ago. She didn't have to risk her heart on a spring fling, and as long as both of them knew what this was going in...

She'd felt the anticipation surge through her when he said he wanted her, and the frank desire she'd felt in his body and his kiss would have scared her if it hadn't been tempered with such control and care. Instead it had excited her, and rather than questioning the heat she rose to her toes, hands clenching the front of his shirt as she had thought about doing earlier, and she pulled him back to her in a bruising kiss.

Emma's kiss was wet and wild as she clung to him, rocking him back and almost making them both stagger. He gripped her tighter in response, her reaction like an erupting volcano, both uncontrolled and unexpected, and just a bit dark and dangerous. It fed the desire he'd felt earlier, and she showed no sign of wishing him to pull back. His lips were hot and hungry as they met hers, and when she trembled for him and her grip on his shoulders grew heavier, he gave in to the temptation of her in his arms.

Killian lost all sense of anything but her, the kiss growing deep and desperate as his hands fisted in her hair and he felt her nails bite into his shoulder blades. They were moving almost before he realized it, two short steps before her back hit the wall and he pressed her deeper into it. He muffled her cry, his mouth devouring hers as his hands streaked over her, as she broke the kiss to let out a moan as he nibbled down her neck.

Emma was lost in sensations, the ache within her building as his hips pushed against hers, as she felt the clear evidence of what he'd whispered only moments ago. Or was it hours. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, but it was so fast, and she felt the fear snapping at the heels of the desire. For the first time since Neal, she didn't want this to be a one time thing, but if they did this now then... She lost the brief thoughts she'd been trying to have as his nose nudged her hair aside and he bit just slightly too hard at the juncture between her neck and shoulder, the pain feeding into the heat when he immediately began kissing over the area.

He wanted skin, he wanted the feel and taste and heat of her, wanted to tear aside her skirt and watch her fly before driving himself into her until they were both empty. His heart was pounding for her, his hands pinning hers to the wall as she gasped and sobbed for him.

It wasn't until he shifted, holding both her hands in one to slide his other down her body, ready to grip her thigh and pull it up around his hip, that he caught her eyes.

There was both terror and need swirling in her eyes, her body trembling but cheeks hot with desire. He jerked back as if she'd slapped him, eyes widening in horror as he saw the deep bruise he'd left on her neck, saw the red indents on her wrists from how hard he'd been holding her. "I'm sorry, gods, I'm, love, if I hurt you..."

Dazed, Emma leaned heavily against the wall, trying to breath through the pounding of her heart, through the ache in her core. She'd forgotten what it was to feel this way, but the panic in his voice penetrated the fog and she reached out, taking his hand even as he moved to step further back from her. "No, I'm okay, but..."

"You made me forget I'm a gentleman, love." He watched her carefully as he used their joined hands to raise her wrist to his lips, gently kissing the red marks he'd left in his carelessness. "I can only apologize for losing my head, but Emma, you need to know I won't hurt you. You made me lose control for a moment there, and I'm sorry if I frightened you, but I won't push you, I just..."

"I started it." Emma whispered, bringing her fingers to his lips to cut off his rambling apology. "You didn't push me, Killian, I was right there with you the whole time and I won't break, I just... if we do this it changes everything, and I haven't, since Neal, I..."

His eyes went wide, and he wondered, "Emma, are you saying you haven't..."

"No, I..." Emma trailed off, huffing in disbelief. "I can't believe this is where this conversation is going."

"It doesn't have to."

She smiled, small but real, at his quick offer, but he deserved an explanation for the fear, because she was worried he'd gotten the wrong impression on a few things. "I've been with guys since Neal, not many, but, but not... not more than once. I haven't dated anyone since him, well I've been on two first dates but they were both disasters. But I like you, and I really did have fun on our date, and I'm afraid that if we do this now, then that'll be it, and..."

"I've done the same as you, since Milah, but we both know that's not what this is. Yes, it would change things, but in the best possible way." Killian soothed softly, his fingers trailing over her cheek as he understood. "Now, that being said, I enjoy spending time with you, love, no matter what we are or aren't doing. I'd like to get to know you better, in whatever ways you want, and I've no objection to courting you. You're worth it, Emma."

"No one's ever told me that before." The words slipped out before she could stop them, as did the single tear that slid down her cheek. Her heart shook as he leaned in slowly, kissing it away before kissing her other cheek as well.

"No one has ever not cared about my hand before." He traded her fragile confession for one of his own, knowing instinctively that showing his own vulnerability would mean more to her than anything else he could say. "And part of me thinks this is insane, as we've barely known each other for a week. But there's something about you, love, and I don't know what this is or where it will go, but I'd love to find out."

"Why don't we start with dinner, and then actually dance." Emma whispered softly, hearing the sincerity in his words. Instead of being scared at his ability to read her, to know what she needed and be able to give it to her truthfully, she could only be grateful for it on this occasion. His smile was his answer, and he raised her hand again to kiss her fingers.

The now familiar gesture was broken when she saw the guilt flick through his face as he saw the marks on her wrist were definitely going to bruise, and she twisted her hand in his grip, cupping his cheek and kissing him lightly. "You didn't hurt me, Killian, I... I like that something about me makes you lose control. I may be fragile in some ways, but in this I..."

She trailed off, but Killian read the words in her blush, in the flicker of heat in her eyes, and firmly shoved down the surge of lust that went through him to return her soft kiss. "We're all fragile in some ways, Emma. But I want you to promise me something, if you can."

She smiled softly at his phrasing, he already knew her well enough to know she'd never make a promise without knowing what it was. And he didn't want her to feel pressured to agree. "Will you do the same?"

He nodded, and when she squeezed his hand began softly, "I'd love to hear your stories love, but only if you want to tell them. But even if you won't tell me why... gods, love, I really don't want to hurt you. And every time I see that fear in your eyes, or your walls going back up... Just please, promise to talk to me, like you did tonight. Or at least explain what I did wrong."

"I thought I was easy to read?" Her voice was lightly teasing, more so because she needed a second to think than anything else. She sucked at the whole talking thing in general, had never been close enough to anyone to have that trust and ability to be vulnerable. Except for once, which she wasn't going to think about now. She liked that she didn't have to talk to him, that he just knew and somehow avoided all her buttons while coaxing down her walls with a mix of honest charm and sincere interest and desire.

"Sometimes, yet others you're a bloody mystery." He chuckled, his fingers coming up to play with the ends of her hair. "Emma, you're not the only one afraid of messing this up."

His confession a few minutes ago had tied her heart in a knot, it had been yet another example of him knowing what she needed in any given moment and somehow just giving it to her. But this one staggered her, her eyes shooting up to his. If she'd thought he'd been vulnerable before it was nothing compared to now, his voice deep and serious, his accent somehow more pronounced, and she raised her hand to once again cup his cheek, loving the tingle of his scruff against her hand. "I promise to try. I'm... I'm not the best at talking about stuff."

"You've been doing great tonight." He tilted his head to drop a kiss on her palm. "I meant what I said, love. I'm not after an awkward, _deepest secrets and fears_ version of twenty questions. I just don't want to read something wrong. I don't mind making you a little nervous, but the fear just cuts at me."

"Killian, I'm not..." Emma took a deep breath, wondering once again if her silence on her past was doing more harm than good, and understanding completely why he'd wanted the promise he did. He didn't know how she had been hurt, didn't know what actions or words would bring the fear, and didn't know what he was reminding her of or what she was worrying about. The guilt on his face after they'd nearly mauled each other made more sense now, and she knew she had to make this clear. Her eyes held his, the gentle encouragement and patience in them making the words somehow come flooding up.

"I'm not afraid of you, not physically. I know it's crazy, cause like you said it's been a week, but I believe you when you say you won't push me. I, I trust you. You didn't do anything I didn't want Killian, and I know you won't. No one ever... no one ever hurt me that way, you don't have to worry about that." She saw the relief and knew she was right that it had been one of the things he was worried about, and she supposed it did make sense.

"Will you tell me what you're afraid of, then?"

"You know."

Killian chuckled, still playing with her hair, and leaned in close to whisper, "Well, I think I have an inkling, but I'll sound like a right prat if I'm wrong."

Emma laughed softly, dropping her forehead onto his shoulder as she let her arms wrap around his waist. His arms slid around her in return, one hand stroking over her back, the other again in her hair. She didn't know why he loved playing with it, but she couldn't say she minded. "I won't hold it against you." She couldn't think of how to phrase it, didn't know how to explain that it wasn't the passion but the tenderness that made her want to run. But also made her heart soar and her blood heat.

"You're afraid because for the first time in a long time, you're interested in more than a one time thing. You like me, and that terrifies you." His voice was soft, filled with understanding rather than ego, and there was no trace of teasing.

She blushed, pulling back from the gentle embrace enough to see his eyes, and the commiseration in them was as clear as the desire. "I'm also scared of how well you can read me." She whispered before she could chicken out. He'd asked her to be honest, and she knew that was one of the things he had probably been misinterpreting about her reactions.

He knew that, actually. "I suspect, but obviously don't know for certain, that's because my own story is sadly similiar. I've seen the look in your eyes for years, love, in the mirror. And on this particular occasion, I didn't have to read you, only confess my own feelings."

"You never seem scared."

Killian couldn't help chuckling as her eyes got wider, she clearly hadn't meant to say that. But he only replied softly, "Well, Blake recently reminded me that you can't have the good things in life if you don't risk the bad."

"Blake?"

Killian grinned just as the timer in the kitchen went off. "Why don't we get our food, and then we can curl up on the couch here and I'll tell you about Blake."

"On the couch?"

Killian chuckled. "Well, I know eating out here is allowed." Emma blushed, pulling back from him as she remembered the night they met. Being pulled out of a sound sleep by a man who looked like the sexy lead in the movie she'd been watching. A movie he'd written. "And I'll admit that now that I've had you in my arms, I'd rather have you at my side than across a table."

"That's just because it makes it easier to look down my shirt."

Killian laughed, wagging his eyebrows suggestively as she tugged him into the kitchen, letting her slide back into the comfort of light conversation.

Once they were curled up on the couch, bowls in hand and wine on a small end table she'd pulled over, she questioned, "So, Blake?"

"He's the main character in my new screenplay. A private detective and bounty hunter in one, although what brings him to a small town in Maine is completely personal. He's tracking down the man who killed the woman he loved, but he didn't count on falling for another in the meantime."

Emma giggled, too distracted by the voice-over like drama in his voice to see how tightly his jaw was clenched. "Is that the trailer script?"

"Basically." Killian sighed. "It's the first time I've adapted a romance book in this way, and honestly I nearly turned the job down as it's not my usual interest, but there was something so real and honest in the book, in the fears and courage of both lead characters, that... Sorry, love. But the lesson Blake learned recently, just about four hours ago in fact, was that you can't let fear of loss keep you from the possibility of love, of a connection to someone. You always have the good memories of a person, Emma, even if you eventually have painful ones as well."

"So you're giving me the whole _love is worth the risk_ cliche?" Her voice wasn't accusatory, but soft and honestly questioning.

"If it's not I don't know what is." Killian said softly, pushing up his sleeve enough to trace his tattoo, still feeling a flash of wonder that she treated his scarred left hand as though it were normal. He didn't think the wonder would ever cease that he didn't need to worry about that around her. "Some of the best memories of my life are times I spent with Milah, and I wouldn't lose those for anything. The bad memories may cover the good for a time, but we can't let them, not forever. And we have to be willing to risk more of them in order to get more good."

"This has been good, tonight." Emma said softly.

"It has indeed." Killian whispered. "I'm glad you were okay with improvising."

"Killian, this was the best date I've ever been on."

"We haven't even danced yet." Killian kept his voice light, knowing she was being honest and unable to keep from thinking how sad that was. "And you've yet to address what you want me to promise you."

"Oh, I..." She'd completely forgotten about that, the conversation had shifted based on her own promise and they'd never come back to it. She'd been thinking of various things at the time, depending on what he asked her, but after where the conversation had gone one thing was echoing so loudly in her head that she said it almost before she'd even realized her mouth had opened. "Promise not to give up on me."

His heart ached at the vulnerability in her voice, but Killian only smiled softly, setting his bowl on the table and gently cupping her cheeks. "I've already told you I think you're worth it, Emma. I promise not to give up on you."

"I promise to talk to you."

His heart jumped as she left off the _I'll try_ conditional she had added earlier, and he kissed her softly to seal the promise before they both returned to their dinner.

When they eventually got around to dancing they more swayed than anything else, lips and fingers brushing softly, sweetly, lost in their own little world.

TBC...


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. All opening chapter quotes are from "Till I Found You" by Freestyle. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Love. Reviews appreciated as always.

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoO_

 _"_ _I used to think that I was fine_ _, o_ _h, that I was doing ok._

 _I didn't know that I was blind._ _I just went on along my way._ _"_

 _OoOoOoO_

Chapter 6:

"Ruby, hi, how are you..."

"Why did I hear it from Anna and not you?"

Emma jolted, pulling her cell phone slightly away from her ear as Ruby's voice belted out of it. Sinking back down on her bed with a sigh, she tossed the phone down beside her and hit the speaker button as she flopped back. She'd been hoping to avoid this, but known it was possible since the morning mimosas. "Ruby, you'll be back in a few days, and I was just..."

"Oh, and don't go being pissed at Anna, cause she was calling about something at the restaurant and just mentioned it assuming you had told me, and..."

"I'm not pissed, Ruby, I..." Emma cut her off, not needing a lecture but needing a moment to breath. "I didn't have any other friends back when Neal... but if I had, I know how I would have felt if one of them was bragging about a new guy right after I'd lost..."

"Emma, I've been trying to get you to date since I've met you. You never tried to push any of us to be alone just because you were, why would I do that to you?"

"Wow, that's blunt even for you." Emma commented, although she realized she had been as well. Though she couldn't comment on the jolt to her heart at the casualness with which Ruby said it as well. It was still hard to believe she had friends who could be happy for her even when they had their own problems. Not that it was uncommon for them to be that way with each other; Granny had said once that the reason they were such good friends was they knew when the other needed a good kick in the ass.

"Granny will be back in a minute, and I'm trying to get the gossip yet save you from the daily calls you'll be getting if she knows."

Emma couldn't help the soft chuckle, and suddenly the words were there, simple and easy. "I like him. We... we haven't... yet, but the way he kisses... and I'm more excited than scared."

"Emma..."

"He's... I've never met anyone like him. The way he can read me, and he's, gods, he's a fucking romantic, and he sent me all these flowers, and..."

"Who are you and what have you done with Emma Swan?"

"Ha, ha, Red." Emma huffed, although she had to admit she'd asked herself the same thing once or twice over the past few days.

"I'm sorry, it's just... this may sound crazy coming from me, but you've only known him for two weeks, and you've never talked to me like this about a guy, you've never..."

"I know." Emma felt all the fight go out of her as she heard the sincere concern in her best friend's voice. "But there's just something about him and..."

"Crap, the shower just turned off, and you know that woman's hearing is insane. Just... I am happy for you, and have fun, Em. Try not to wait for the other shoe to drop, okay?"

"I'll try. How are you doing?" Emma replied softly.

There was a long pause, and Emma almost regretted asking, and then her friend's voice came softly, "Better. You, you were right that getting away was... "

"I'm glad." Emma said after a moment of silence when Ruby trailed off, clearly unable to express the sentiment but knowing that Emma of all people would understand. "And yeah, you should get back to having fun, I'm actually heading out in a minute anyway."

"On a date?"

Emma grinned at the sing-song tone of her friend's voice. "Yeah."

"I'll see you in two days, Blondie. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"That's a pretty short list. See you then!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

The Lily Pad was closed for a private family party, but he'd learned that Emma liked Italian just as much as Cajun, and the ambience at Toni's was perfect. The food was excellent, the company better.

He helped her with her coat, her chair, the movements so clearly natural and sweet she couldn't take offense. He wasn't the first man to do either of those, some of the bail-jumpers she'd tracked down had acted the part of gentlemen, but he was the only one that didn't make it seem fake. Emma normally bristled at the actions, but with him it only set her heart fluttering.

They'd shared a bottle of wine with dinner, the talk between them easy and fun as always, and now danced maybe a little too close. She'd heard a giggle behind her at one point, and found Aurora and Philip grinning at her from their table as the traveling violinist and singer halted for an extended moment by their side. But it was their favorite restaurant, in fact where they'd had their first date, so it wasn't like she could complain that they were spying on her.

She knew there were more eyes on them, but somehow as they danced, each slightly surprised by how well they moved together, everything else faded away. Emma's world shrank down to the warmth of his body against hers, his hands sliding over her back and occasionally slipping into her hair. Hers were around his neck, and she sighed when his lips ghosted over her ear.

"How do you feel about public displays of affection, love?"

Emma started to chuckle, but she felt the slight tensing of his body and realized the question went deeper. He knew her friends knew they'd gone on a date, but he had no idea how much else she'd told them, or if this was something she'd want to keep more hidden. She pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, tingles still running down her spine from the desire she'd heard in his deeper than normal voice. She wanted to kiss him more than she wanted her next breath, and forced herself to keep it light, "Well, nothing that will get us arrested."

Killian chuckled, his fingers slipping up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "I just want to kiss you."

"I've wanted you to all night." Emma whispered an instant before their lips met softly. She'd just started to sink in, not even noticing the song had ended, when her phone gave an alert tone. The relative silence allowed her to hear another phone sound a second later, and she cursed as she dug hers from her pocket, glancing over to see Philip doing the same.

"That's gonna be work." She groaned as she checked the text from David, eyes widening in shock. She didn't even realize Philip had come over until he spoke.

"Emma, you okay?"

"What's happened?' Killian's worried voice echoed a second later and she wordlessly passed him her phone as she headed back to the table to grab her coat.

 _B &E at Inn. Perp unknown and gone when I arrived. Meet here._

"Who the hell would break into Granny's?" Emma wondered aloud moments later as Killian ignored the speed limits, following Philip out to the inn.

"A random traveler passing through? The house is fairly isolated, and we didn't leave any lights on."

"True enough." Emma had been texting since they hit the car, and now updated him. "David's mother only lives about a mile from Granny's, and started some vegetables in Granny's greenhouse the other day. She was walking over to check on them when she saw what she thought was a flashlight going through the house, and a strange car out front. She was just calling David when an animal activated the external security lights, and a guy ran out of the house and drove away. He had a ski mask on, and all she saw was a dark SUV."

Killian took a deep breath. "I hate to say it love, but there's a chance it was due to my presence. It's not as common as with actors or sports stars, but obsessed fans aren't unheard of. I've had a few over the past decade, although one in particular stands out."

"What happened?" Unable to do anything but worry until they got there, she appreciated the distraction he was offering, especially as the man was basically a born storyteller.

"I was having a drink with my agent at the hotel bar, and after he left was approached by a very determined young lady who started the conversation by informing me she wanted to have my children. Because all my works just spoke to her, they had to have been written just for her because I saw into her soul so of course we were meant to be together and, well, you get the picture." Killian could chuckle about it now, at the time the woman's intensity and disconnection with reality had been slightly disturbing. "I excused myself to the men's room, and continued directly up to my room. Which would have been the end of it, except the industrious lady bribed a bellboy to open my door at about two in the morning and tried to crawl into bed with me. After stripping."

Emma burst out laughing at the wry tone in his voice, trying to picture it. For more than one reason. "Did you have fun?"

"I bloody well called security." He replied in an affronted tone, slowing the car as they turned on to the long driveway to the inn. "The bellhop was terminated, and let's just say I always have a free place to stay."

The laughter fell from her voice, and she said softly, "And yet you're here."

"I'm glad I am." He answered simply, as always going with her ebbs and flows.

"Me too." She said as they pulled up to the house.

Between the nature of the crime and the size of the town, Killian hadn't excepted to walk into a scene out of a movie, but was surprised when they walked in with Philip trailing to find only David and his mother in the living room.

Ruth rose at once and pulled Emma into a hug. "Oh, I'm so glad you weren't here, dear."

Emma caught David's eye, then Killian's, and both knew she wished she had been, but all she said was, "I'm just glad you're safe."

"Oh, I'm fine dear, he never even saw me." Ruth soothed. "I'm just glad you're not out here alone."

"Oh, I think Emma can take care of herself, but I will say I'm glad Mrs. Lucas wasn't here." Killian interjected, knowing Emma well enough to know she would bristle even though it was clear the older woman meant well. He was surprised when both women merely laughed.

It was David who answered his curious look, "Granny keeps a shotgun loaded with rock salt next to her bed. The last time two juvinal delinquents from a few towns over broke in, they couldn't sit down for a day."

Emma chuckled at the memory, she hadn't seen the action but she'd been the one on duty when Granny called the station to come and collect the boys, but sobered quickly as she looked around. "I should have been here."

"Don't do that, Emma." David said softly. "Granny isn't always here, this could just as easily happened when she was out with mom for the night, or in town at the diner, or..."

"Well, it doesn't appear they tossed the place." Killian commented.

"No, we didn't see anything out of place down here, and most of Granny's things are more sentimental than valuable. The lock wasn't broken, so I'm gonna assume it was picked, but I was waiting for you two to check your rooms. Both doors are closed and locked, but there's a chance he relocked them hoping no one would notice he'd been here."

"That would be odd for a random break in, but would make the most sense if he knew it was a B&B." Killian said as he hung up his coat, absently helping Emma out of hers and not noticing when both Nolans eyebrows went up. "Travelers often carry large amounts of cash. Thankfully, I don't."

"I'll take you up there. Philip, you wanna go with Emma, check both Granny's rooms and the one she's using? Mom..."

"I'll make a pot of tea, dear." Ruth smiled, giving Emma another quick squeeze before she headed into the kitchen.

As the men ascended the stairs, Killian offered David the same possibility of a crazy fan he'd given Emma, although without the example. David was still nodding thoughtfully as Killian unlocked his door, and though he pulled open a few drawers and boxes to make certain, it was clear the room hadn't been touched.

Emma's had, but it appeared Ruth had come upon the attempted theft very early, for only a few drawers had been turned out, and Emma couldn't find anything missing. She was only staying for two weeks after all, she hadn't really brought anything valuable.

Granny's rooms hadn't been touched either, and it made the most sense to everyone that the wanna-be thief had gone up to the guest rooms first, and Emma's would have been the first one he'd come across. Neither Emma nor anyone else could think of a single reason anyone would be targeting her, and although David didn't discount Killian's theory of a crazy fan, there was nothing to indicate it.

"We'll keep the case open, and keep our eyes out, but you know how it goes, Emma. Mom didn't get a license plate or a description, she was too far away. Graham took it upon himself to go look around for suspicious SUVs so I could stay with my mom, but it's likely miles away by now. We could try fingerprints, but with half the town in and out of here not to mention all the guests it'd be a long shot. And if he was smart enough to pick a lock and cover his face, he probably wore gloves anyway." David said as he was leaving them around an hour after they'd gotten back. "It was probably just some good-for-nothing passing through, but keep the door locked and your gun by you for a few days just in case. Maybe the walkie."

"I'll be fine."

"We'll be fine." Killian echoed, coming up behind her in the doorway, pleased when she leaned back against him ever so slightly.

"Take care of..." David quickly adjusted when he saw the look forming on Emma's face, "Each other."

"With pleasure, mate." Killian gave him a wink and a grin, which only widened when David took a deep breath and started to move forward, only to be bumped back by Emma.

At least she was grinning. "Go on, get home to your family, we're good. I'll call if anything happens."

David pulled her into a quick hug, caught Killian's eye and received the expected nod, and left after again reminding her to lock the door.

As the headlights faded away and Emma turned back to him, Killian smiled softly, reaching up to stroke her cheek. "I'm almost afraid of what will happen if we go on a fourth date."

The first had been odd indeed, takeout at the station. Emma thought of the storm that had kept them from going out on their second date, although cooking together and then dancing in the fire and candle lit living room was still a memory that floated through her dreams. And now their third date had been interrupted by a random crime that almost never happened in Storybrooke. "Maybe we shouldn't risk it."

Her tone was clearly teasing, and Killian leaned down to kiss her softly before tugging her over to the couch. "Well, we're at a different location now, and have been interrupted for long enough we could call this a fourth date. Let's watch a movie and get it out of the way."

"Hmm, what movie? I'm not really in the mood to think."

"A comedy, then?"

"Sure."

OoOoOoOoOoO

Killian woke hours later with a crinck in his neck from sleeping on the couch. Although he barely noticed it when he registered the heat around him wasn't a blanket, but Emma. The television had already turned itself off, and he could barely make out her features in the dark room. He knew he should wake her, get them up to their beds, but for a moment he just sighed and hugged her a little bit closer.

"The prospect of moving would be so much more appealing if I knew you'd end up back in my arms." Killian breathed into her hair.

"Would we just be sleeping?"

Killian tensed as Emma's voice came quietly, he'd thought she was asleep and said as much.

"I was, but some sound outside woke me earlier and then I didn't want to move. I've... I've never had someone to be there for me when something shitty happened, and... and no matter what we do it's just so much fun." The words came easier in the dark, variations on them had been rolling around in her head since she'd woken, warm and safe in his arms. She hadn't woken in a man's arms since Neal, and she had forgotten, or made herself forget, how comforting it was to just have someone there.

"You fascinate me, love, and you're easy to have fun with." Killian said softly, his hand coming up to stroke through her hair. "And I'm more than content to just hold you while we sleep. I've not woken with a lass in my arms since..."

"I haven't either, well, you know what I mean... not since..."

"I'd forgotten how it feels." He breathed just before the silence they had both trailed off into could turn awkward, his hand now rubbing gently over her lower back. "You forget all the little things you miss."

It no longer scared her when his words mirrored her thoughts, and somehow it was easier in the dark, with them both half asleep. "Your room? I just, there was someone in mine, and..."

"Aye, love, if you're sure."

They double checked all of the locks and security lights, Emma stopping off at her room to change into the flannel pants and t-shirt that were her pajamas when she was forced to wear them. And as appealing as sliding naked between the sheets with him sounded, she knew they wouldn't get any sleep if that happened, and it didn't feel right, not tonight.

Killian had thought it would be awkward, but she slid into his bed and back against his side with surprising casualness. "Will you be able to sleep again?""

"I think so." Emma whispered. "It's not that I'm scared, I'm sure the guy is long gone, and if not we'd handle it, it's just... I hate that someone was in here. I... I grew up in..."

Killian only stoked his hand over her hair when she trailed off, and after a long moment had gone by whispered back, "Just try to sleep, Emma, you don't have to..."

"I was abandoned as a baby, grew up in the foster system. In and out of different houses, group homes... One of the things I hated the most was you never have privacy. You never just had a space to call your own, a place where no one..."

"A home." Killian whispered softly.

"Yeah." Emma answered, her fingers absently trailing down to link with his. "You asked me last week how I ended up in Storybrooke. Well, Neal had this theory about home, he might have swiped it from The Wizard of Oz, but, but he said that home was that place that when you weren't there, you just missed it. We had this thing where we would just stick a pin in a map, and that's where we'd go. After I... after..."

She trailed off again, and again he remained silent, squeezing her hand in silent encouragement. When she began again, he knew she was skipping something, but he was so amazed she was opening up at all that he would never think of complaining. What she had already told him explained so much, just those few words clicking so many more pieces of the puzzle into place.

"That's what I've been doing for the past nine years. I was a bail bondsperson; I could get work anywhere, so I'd just move whenever I felt like it. I always wanted to leave sooner or later, so I'd just stick another pin in the map and... and I never missed any of the old places. It's been almost a year since the pin landed on Storybrooke, and there's something... I just don't want to leave."

"I know I've only been here a few weeks, but it really is a wonderful town." He began massaging her back again as she curled more closely into him, wrapping their legs together. "I knew both my parents, but my mother died when I was barely five, and my father ran off a few years later. Not that we'd been better off when the drunken sot was around. My brother and I bounced around the system as well, although at nearly 7 years my elder it only took a few years for Liam to age out. He got me out as well, and then I lost him in an accident nearly ten years ago."

"Life sucks." Emma commiserated as he once gain gave her exactly what she needed, a confession that matched her own.

"At times." Killian whispered, slipping his hand under her shirt to let it rest warmly on her back. She shivered, and he brushed a kiss over her forehead. "But at others it's a bloody wonder."

"Like now?"

Emma's voice had been teasing, but Killian only dropped another kiss on her forehead. "I dreamed of you last night, and wrote of it today. The book my newest script is based on is nearly a century old, so it's being updated, and just so happens, as I told you, to take place in a small town in Maine. The landlady of the B&B has your smile, your laugh. Your ever shifting eyes. And the detective is just as enamored with her as I am with you. I'm fine with moving at your speed, love, but I can hardly object to having you in my arms."

"Where did you even come from?" Emma mumbled into his chest without thought, tensing slightly as she felt him chuckle, but his only reaction was to tilt her head up and kiss her softly.

"Will you tell me one more thing? It seems to be a night for sharing."

"Depends."

"You've said Neal didn't die, but..."

He trailed off, but Emma knew immediately what he was asking. "I don't know why he left me. Everything was fine, I thought everything was... and then... and then..."

She trailed off, and Killian could sense that she'd gone as far as she could tonight. "Shhhh..."' He breathed soothingly as his hand continued to stroke over her back, his other tight on her hip. "I'm sorry. Just sleep love, try to dream of happy things."

"It's okay, I want to tell you, I just... Can you tell me a story?"

"Real or fake?" Killian murmured.

"If we could go on a date anywhere, do anything, what would we do?"

Killian grinned. She'd likely be asleep in minutes, but it would help distract his own mind as well. He was a gentleman, but he wasn't a saint, and he'd dreamed of her in his bed in far less innocent circumstances.

"Well, I'll admit my favorite fantasy involves a red bikini and a private yacht, but... how would you feel about Venice?"

She laughed and agreed, reminded earlier of how she'd told Ruby he was a hopeless romatic as he described their dinner and walk along the street in words worthy of Shakespeare.

She fell asleep halfway through their gondola ride, warm and safe in his arms.

TBC...


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. All opening chapter quotes are from "Till I Found You" by Freestyle. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: As I saw the question in a few reviews (thanks so much!), yeah, it's a story, so we all know the break-in wasn't as random as it seemed. Yes, it's connected to a character's past, although not necessarily Killian's, and yes, we will see the _thief_ again. I don't usually give spoilers, but you caught me in just the right mood. ;) Enjoy! Oh, and the M rating is about to kick in. Just skim this part if that's not your thing. If it is, you're welcome.

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoO_

 _"_ _I never had somebody I could lean on._ _I never had a shoulder I could cry on_

 _'Til I found you babe -_ _'Til I found you._ _"_

 _OoOoOoO_

Chapter 7:

Killian woke at dawn to the delightful sensation of Emma in his arms. The delightful and very distracting sensation of Emma in his arms. They'd shifted during the night, as tended to happen, and he was curled around her back, his arms tight around her.

He'd been dreaming of her again, and let out a deep sigh as she shifted slightly in her sleep, rubbing against him and causing him to grow even harder than he'd been upon waking. He hadn't been lying when he said he was content to merely hold her, but he also wanted her more than he'd ever wanted any other woman and it had been a while.

Killian shifted to kiss the back of her neck, grinning fondly as she hummed softly in her sleep and shifted again, cuddling more closely into his embrace. Un-inclined to move, he tightened his arms minutely, just laying there and breathing her in, absorbing the perfect moment of peace. Halfway between awake and asleep, the echoes of his dreams still floating half-formed in his mind, he wished he could kiss her awake.

He imagined sliding his hand under her shirt, playing his fingers over soft, warm skin that would heat further at his touch. He dropped another feather light kiss on her neck, blinking as he felt the tickle of her hair along his cheek, another feeling he'd nearly forgotten. Killian wasn't sure which he wanted more, seeing that golden blaze spread over his pillow or having it curtain their faces, tickling his chest as she...

Bloody hell, he was harder than ever, and there was no way he was going back to sleep.

Before his mind, or his body, could get away from him any further, Killian slowly and carefully shifted back, holding his breath when she let out a soft protesting sound before settling back to sleep. He slipped from the bed regretfully, but consoled himself that he could surprise her with breakfast in bed.

Once he finished his very cold shower.

Always a light sleeper, Emma had woken the moment he slid away from her, but feigned sleep. She concentrated on keeping her breathing even, on quelling the slight bubble of panic she could feel building up in her chest. She knew it was ridiculous, he could easily be getting up to use the bathroom or get some water, but a lifetime of abandonment made even the simple things fraught with worry of double meaning or foreshadowing.

She sighed with relief when she heard the shower turn on. She knew he sometimes kept strange hours when he got lost in writing, she'd heard the rattle of the old pipes a few times around dawn. It had always woken her, but she'd stayed here enough to find the sound comforting, and at least once had drifted back to sleep dreaming of him naked in that shower.

Her thoughts started to drift there now, as she woke up a little bit more and realized he wasn't a floor up and two doors away, but beyond a single door. If that door was open, she'd be able to see him now, and Emma felt the heat flood her at the thought.

She knew the feel of his body against hers, although last night was the first time they'd fallen asleep, it wasn't the first time they'd cuddled on the couch. She knew his strength, both from the feel of his muscles when her hands wandered and that one exciting moment when he'd lost control. And she'd felt him when she woke, hard against her ass for a brief instant before he slid away. Part of her almost wished he hadn't.

Emma rolled onto her back absently, fingers trailing up to play over her breast as she remembered his touch there in the hours before dawn.

He'd been sound asleep, but she slept so lightly, and was so unused to sleeping with another person, that she'd woken almost every time he shifted. Not that she minded, it was comforting to have that reminder that he was there, and the nightmares she'd worried about, the nightmares that always came when she opened up about her past, hadn't visited her dreams at all.

She'd mostly just fallen back to sleep after cuddling as close as she could get. The man was a toucher, and although she'd always been awkward about casual touching or more often outright rejected it, she couldn't seem to get enough of his.

She'd just enjoyed the warmth and drifted back to sleep, except for that one time. His hand had shifted from being wrapped around her waist to cupping her breast, and Emma had shifted back unconsciously as even just that light touch sent heat flooding though her. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, and the heated kisses were growing harder to stop. If just the way he kissed was any indication...

Emma's train of thought took a rapid detour when she heard the first muffled moan come from the bathroom, and she thought of how hard he'd been against her before he left the bed. He hadn't left because he regretted it, he'd left because he wanted her, but instead of trying to take advantage had let her sleep. Once again the thought spiraled up that she wished he hadn't, and this time Emma didn't give herself time to question the heat, she simply rose and walked to the bathroom door, letting her pajamas fall to the floor as she went.

Granny and Ruby would be back in a few days and the living situation would change, not to mention that two of the eight weeks she had with him were already gone, and she wanted more than cuddling in the dark.

For an instant she considered knocking, considered how she'd feel if he just walked in on her doing what she was pretty sure he was, but he'd made it clear he wanted her, and left the ball in her court. He clearly wasn't going to push her, but while she wasn't quite ready for a home run, the tension between them was ready to snap, and the idea of him naked and wet only a room away was just too tempting to resist. The door wasn't locked, and the last of her hesitation faded away as she cracked the door open and the low moan became clearly recognizable as her name.

She could see him through the glass walls, but he hadn't noticed her yet, and Emma couldn't help but take a moment to just appreciate the spectacular scene. She had a sideways view as he was facing the shower-head, the water cascading over his chest, one hand braced against the wall and the other moving lazily over his hardness. His head was tossed back, his eyes closed, and when he let out another moan Emma slid into the room and closed the door behind her, wondering if she had ever seen a more beautiful sight than him lost in fantasies of her.

Lost in her daze, she didn't even realize she was moving until her hand was on the glass door and she was pulling it carefully open. Killian's eyes snapped open the second the door did, eyes widening in shock as his hand stopped moving.

Any embarrassment at being caught jerking off in the shower vanished at the heat in her eyes, and the clear message in the fact that she was standing naked before him, rather than either staying in the bed blushing, or seething, or fleeing the room.

"You're not going to call security, are you?" Emma whispered, a blush heating her cheeks although she stood confidently.

"I'm not a bloody fool." Killian whispered, his eyes taking her in but making no move to touch her. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, all soft curves and pale skin, a fine mist already pearling over her chest from the water's spray. He'd been dreaming it was her hand on him, that she was with him exactly as she was now, but his imagination hadn't been close. "I'd intended to take a cold shower, but my mind was still in my dreams. Although you're more beautiful than even my best fantasy. Tell me what you want, love."

Emma took a deep breath, moving fully into the shower and pulling the door closed behind her, her eyes locked on his, the tension and desire between them almost palpable. "I just thought you might need help washing your back."

His cock twitched at the almost purr in her voice, and when she stepped under the water with him, hands sliding up his chest and leaving a trail of fire in their wake, his hands slid over her in return, hips to waist and back again, his thumbs brushing the sides of her breasts and watching her eyes heat further. "I want you in a bed the first time, I want to worship you as you deserve."

"But we both need this now."

"Gods, Emma..." He meant it that he wanted her in a bed, but his control was fraying as she began dropping soft kisses across his chest, her hands sliding down to his hips, thumbs tracing narrow hipbones, stopping just short of where he ached for her touch. His hands froze against her sides as she tilted up to brush a kiss to the underside of his jaw, one of her hands curving around to cup his ass and pull his hips hard against hers. "You're going to make me forget I'm a gentleman."

"I'm the one who jumped into your shower naked." Emma whispered back. "I'm okay with waiting for a bed, just let me..."

She trailed off, kissing him softly, and for a long moment they only stood under the warm spray, bodies flush against each other as the kiss deepened.

"Let you what, love?" He husked in her ear as they both finally had to breath, pulling back enough to see her eyes as he slid his hands up to cup her breasts, thumbs brushing over the already hardened peaks and heart beating faster as she trembled for him. Her blush had him tilting his head curiously even as his fingers trailed over her collarbone, marveling as he got an answer to how far down her blush went.

"Let me wash your back."

Killian knew that wasn't what she had been about to say, but he was hardly going to object. He kissed her softly once again before turning to face the shower-head, bracing his hands on the wall as she gave his ass a squeeze before he heard the snap of his shower gel being opened.

Her hands glided over his back a moment later, sliding smoothly over his muscles, massaging lightly as he had done to her the night before, and a loan groan escaped his throat at the soothing yet arousing touch. His desire pounded full force through him, and he clenched his hands where they were braced against the wall, thrilling in her touch and willing to let her do whatever she wanted but desperate for her in a not so innocent way.

"Is this really all you want, love?"

Emma's hands froze for a brief second at the whispered question, but she immediately started them moving again, her touch sliding slightly lower to the magnificent ass she had admired in jeans a few too many times. She knew he'd felt her hesitation, but his silence showed his willingness to pretend she hadn't heard, and it was the way he always gave to her this way that gave her the courage to whisper softly, "Let me watch you?"

Killian groaned low in his chest at the hesitant question, he'd never been shy about desire and the heat that roared through him at her bold request had him spinning to face her as quickly as he could in the shower and pulling her lips against his in a brief but meltingly deep kiss.

Before he could lose himself in her he pulled back, his thumbs brushing over her nipples again before settling on her shoulders, lightly urging her a step back. "You like to watch?" Her eyes flashed up to his and then down again, and he caught the slightest hint of embarassment in them. The way she bit her lower lip confirmed it, and Killian ran his thumb along her lips as his fingers feathered over her neck. "If you think I've a problem with this, think again, love. Show me how to please you in return."

Emma's eyes snapped up at the deep, almost dangerous timber of his voice, the tone of almost command that still hinted at a question at the end. His pupils were blown wide, the ring of sapphire around them deeper and darker than she'd ever seen, and her heart pounded as she moved back a little more, hissing as her back hit the cold glass wall, her hands coming up to play with her nipples as he'd just been doing.

"You're going to be the death of me, love." Killian breathed, his eyes flicking over her as he resumed stroking himself. "I was imagining that you were here with me, your hands on me, my eyes and hands filled with your softness and warmth. If you knew the dreams I've had..."

"I've had a few of my own." Emma whispered as she watched him, her body humming as she dropped one of her hands between her legs, a wicked glint in her eyes the only hint before she raised a foot up to the ledge, resting more of her weight on the wall behind her as she slid her fingers back and forth, moaning as she imagined it was his fingers gliding over her and dipping inside.

His eyes were locked on her fingers, his hand moving faster now, and when she spread herself for him he almost lost it then and there. "I'll have to ask you not to judge my stamina on this one occasion, but you're bloody spectacular, lass, and I've a bit of a head start."

"That just means you'll be able to give me a hand." Emma's giggle turned to a moan as she watched him squeeze himself, his back arching, and she dropped to her knees without thought, removing his hand and sinking her mouth down on him before he could ever register that she'd moved. His entire body tensed, one hand still braced against the wall as the other fisted in her hair. She flicked her eyes up to his totally wrecked face, hands coming up to squeeze his ass as she hummed low in her throat.

"I repeat, the death of me." Killian huffed when he'd caught his breath, he'd barely kept himself from spilling the instant she closed around him, it had been too long and he wanted her too much. He'd also been damn close before she even stepped into the shower. He realized belatedly he was gripping her hair like a lifeline, releasing her at once and bracing both hands against the wall. "What happened to taking it slow?" His voice was a curious whisper, clearly once again allowing her the option of pretending not to hear.

She pulled back slowly, eyes sliding up to watch his face as she hollowed her cheeks briefly before pulling back. "Change of plans. You're really not objecting, are you?"

"I'm not a fool." He whispered, cupping her face in one hand while the other stroked over her wet hair. "And I can't say I haven't dreamed of this, love, but you don't have to..."

"But I want to." She interrupted him, the soft echo of his words when he'd bought her dozens of flowers. Emma was surprised to realize that although she usually avoided going down on a guy when possible, and merely saw it as a means to an end when she did, she really did want to do this. She wanted to hear the way his breath caught, see those piercing cobalt eyes grow stormy and dark with desire. He'd been so patient with her, and so understanding in always letting her make the first moves, so always in control that she wanted to see him lose that. She wanted to see him fall apart, wanted to know that it was because of her.

"As long as it's only about us." He husked, his thumbs tracing over the apples of her cheeks.

"No nightmares. No yesterdays." Emma said softly, dropping a kiss on his thigh as she brought one hand up to play with him, loving the contrast of soft and hard. "I woke up when you left the bed, and I... I heard the shower and started thinking about you naked and I just... I'm not scared of wanting you anymore. I want this, Killian. I want you."

"Oh, love..." His fingers stroked over her cheek as her eyes met his, and he saw just how far her walls had come down. "I've wanted you since the moment I saw you."

Her only response was to kiss along his hipbone, pulling back to lick a circle around him before beginning to bob her head.

He was close again within minutes, part of him wanting to prolong the sweet agony and the rest of him just wanting to let go. He whispered a warning and she only hummed around him.

Emma could feel the tension in his body, see it in the way his hands were fisted where he braced himself against the walls. She squeezed his ass before letting her fingers play between his legs, and when he fell with her name on his lips, she worked him through it until he pulled his hips back with a deep groan, flashing him a satisfied smirk and rising to her feet. The blissed out look of wonder on his face made her almost forget her aching knees.

It took him an instant to recover, swaying under the water, and then his hands locked around her hips and she was pinned to the wall as he kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

"I believe it's _my_ turn to wash _your_ back." Killian breathed in her ear as he began trailing kisses down her neck, one hand cushioning her head from the glass wall as the other trailed over her waist. "And I honestly don't know in this instant if I'd rather watch you or touch you."

"Both works for me." Emma whispered, twisting in his arms to put her back to him.

He only used his hand to brush her hair over one shoulder as he continued to trail kisses over her shoulder, sliding his hands over her back and around her waist. "Touch yourself, love." He murmured in her ear before nibbling at the lobe and back down her neck, loving the breathy moan the touch always coaxed from her. His eyes raked over the front of her body as her fingers returned to her core, one arm wrapping more firmly around her waist as she trembled in his arms.

Emma leaned back against his solid strength, his lips brushing over her temple as the move forced him up from her neck, and then he was whispering in her ear, that husky, melodious voice telling her she was beautiful, telling her how he'd dreamed of touching her. His hand played over her breasts for a long moment, and she could feel his eyes watching her fingers where they slowly pumped back and forth between her legs. She twisted her head to kiss him, the desire and heat flaring brighter when his hand slid from her hip to join hers between her legs, his mouth opening to her as she let her hand fall away as his took up the gentle motion.

"Killian." She gasped his name as his fingers slid deeper, still keeping up the rhythm she had set even as his other hand urged hers up to play with her breasts. Any hint of embarrassment was long gone as she rolled her nipples between her fingers, moaning as his fingers sped up and he slid them back into a deep kiss.

"You're so stunning, love." Killian whispered when she broke the kiss, panting for breath as he found the angle he needed, crooking his fingers on every stroke, desire thrumming through him as her moans grew higher and closer together. He'd never seen anything more beautiful than Emma lost in her passion, and if this was the explosion from just them touching each other he might just have to revisit his idea on her being the death of him.

He was already half-hard against her ass, but his sole focus was on her, needing more than anything to see her fly, to know that she was just as affected by him as he was by her. He moved his hand faster when she started to tremble in his arms, securing his hold on her waist as he flicked his thumb over her. Once, twice, and then with a cry she was shattering in his arms.

She'd have slid to the ground if he hadn't been holding her up, his fingers still playing over her, working her down gently even as she continued to shudder in his arms, feeling boneless, still tingling all over from the rush of what was probably the most intense orgasm she'd ever had. And that was with only his hand.

Killian wrapped himself around her back, kissing her neck softly as his fingers slid from her warmth, gliding up over her stomach to cup her breast. "The reality is better than any dream."

Emma shivered as he almost growled the words in her ear, she was still half-floating in the afterglow, and for the first time since Neal felt no need to pull away. In a way, they'd already been more intimate than this, she'd told him things she hadn't spoken of to anyone other than a few close friends. He understood her, and despite only knowing her for two weeks somehow knew her better than even those close friends.

No, she didn't want to pull away, but she didn't want this to get lost in anything but the physical either. This was about fun, not about the tenderness she could hear in his voice. She couldn't let herself fall for him, because she knew he wasn't staying. "Some of my dreams have been pretty good."

Killian chuckled as Emma breathed the words out, still trying to catch her breath, and slid his hand from her hip down to her core, knowing she was still overly sensative and only cupping her softly, his other hand squeezing her breast and drawing a soft gasp from her. "Shall we take turns fulfilling each others?"

He was rock hard again, pressed between her ass, and let out a low groan when Emma deliberately shifted against him, which turned to a chuckle when her stomach let out a loud rumble.

Emma blushed in embarrassment, but Killian's only reaction was to drop a gentle kiss on her neck, making sure she could stand before reaching back to turn off the water. "I was planning on bringing you breakfast in bed, but perhaps we could go forage together and then decide how to spend the day."

"I thought we were spending it in bed."

Killian chucked as she blushed again, and pulled her against him for a soft kiss before they both got out and began to dry off. "I certainly wouldn't object, but we don't have to rush this, love. There's something to be said for anticipation."

"There is, but..." Emma glanced down, suddenly nervous, and jolted when he placed one of Granny's soft white robes around her shoulders. "Why are you the hesitent one here?"

"Because I want to make sure you won't regret it." He said softly, coming around to hold her eyes even as he took both her hands in his, squeezing them comfortingly.

"How are you even real?"

Killian chuckled self consciously at the wonder in her voice, stepping back and dropping her hands to scratch nervously at his ear. "I just don't want to be another person who hurts you, Emma."

"You won't be." Emma couldn't help but back away from the sincerity in his voice, the caring, and she reminded herself again that it was just a few weeks of fun. He couldn't hurt her, because she knew he wasn't staying, because she knew this was just a fling, and hell, she'd never had a fling in her life and he was hot, and funny, and just easy to be around, and... "We're just enjoying ourselves for the time you're here, remember?"

Something like hurt flicked through his eyes, but before she could even begin to question if she was right the look was gone, and he was grinning at her as he pulled on the boxers and jeans that were sitting on the counter. "And did you enjoy our shower, love?"

"Just as much as you did." She grinned back, tying the robe around herself before moving into his room, intent on heading down to her room to grab some clothes and then getting breakfast. And seriously debating if she just wanted to fall into bed with him after, or if she wanted to spend the day with him first, and then, after dinner...

She had just opened the door to the hallway when she heard it, the echo of footsteps on the stairs along with her name being called. She felt Killian coming up behind her, clearly unaware they were about to have company, and his arm wrapped around her waist just as Ruby's head cleared the stairs.

"We came back as soon as we heard about the break in, Emma, where are..." Ruby cut off, her eyes going wide, and Emma let out a soft groan, not knowing what to say. After her initial shock, however, Ruby knew exactly what to say. "Killian Jones, I presume?"

"Killian, meet Ruby Lucas." Emma said in resignation before turning to Ruby with a sharp gaze. "Do not let Granny up here!"

To her credit, Ruby nodded at once, although her eyes were just as sharp. "You. Me. Stories." And before either of them could respond she clomped back down the stairs.

"Well, this is going to be fun." Emma sighed. It seemed their time alone in their own strange little bubble was over.

TBC...


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. All opening chapter quotes are from "Till I Found You" by Freestyle. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: I hate it when real life messes up my fanfic writing. Enjoy!

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoO_

 _"_ _I had been badly hurt before._ _Ever_ _since then, I would ignore_ _a_ _ny chance for love -_ _I thought it was a lie._ _"_

 _OoOoOoO_

Chapter 8:

"She's fine, Granny, she doesn't need you barging in on her shower too."

Emma paused just outside the kitchen door, registering the lie Ruby was telling Granny even as her thoughts flew back to how she'd actually been the one to do the barging.

She appreciated them worrying about her, coming back early, but in truth their timing couldn't have been worse. Well, okay, it could actually have been much worse... Emma firmly shook herself out of her fantasies, entering the kitchen with a slightly forced smile. "You guys didn't have to cut your vacation short."

"Oh, it was getting boring." Granny tried to sound nonchalant as she turned from the stove, but Emma saw the way her eyes flicked over her, as if needing to make sure she was all in one piece. "Plus there's the greenhouse, Ruth's ahead of me by almost two weeks on her vegetables, and..."

"And she was calling the airport the minute David told her what happened here." Ruby interjected, snatching a piece of bacon from the pile Granny already had draining. "Although personally I think it was just an excuse to get back, I must have stopped her a dozen times from trying to come home early, and her opinion of the hotel's cleaning staff, well..."

"They'd never work here, that's for sure." Granny huffed, then turned off the burner with a sigh and walked over to Emma, gripping her forearms and giving her a more thorough once-over before nodding in satisfaction. "And don't get me started on their food, all hoity-toity and overpriced, why, I've been missing my stove, and..."

"I'm sorry I let it happen." Emma cut her off with a whisper.

Granny's eyes changed instantly, and she gave Emma a brisk shake. "You didn't let it happen, Emma, it just did, and there's no harm done. I'm just glad you weren't here."

"Yeah, Blondie, it's lucky both you and our guest were out." Ruby's voice was dripping with innocence, but Emma caught the glint in her eyes over Granny's head. "Where were you?"

Emma was saved from having to answer immediately by Killian walking into the kitchen, a nonchalant good morning already falling from his lips before he turned politely to Ruby and Granny and echoed the same.

"Good morning, Mr. Jones I assume?" Granny went into company mode immediately, releasing Emma and turning with a bright smile, which grew brighter as she took him in.

"Killian, please." He flashed her a charming smile as he shook her hand, casting his eyes to Emma as if looking for an introduction.

"Killian, this is..."

"Oh, just call me Granny, dear, everyone does." Granny got lost in his sapphire eyes for a second before giving herself a mental shake, and without looking behind her added, "And the one snitching the bacon is my granddaughter Ruby."

Completely unrepentant, Ruby grinned and waved, finishing her bacon before crossing to shake his hand. "Nice to meet you." Emma couldn't help but grin as Ruby played the part perfectly, down to the sashay in her walk and flirtatious smile that Granny would expect of her granddaughter first seeing an attractive man.

"And you as well, love." Killian grinned at her, unable to help his eyes from flicking down over the rather fantastic body barely contained in skin tight jeans and a bright red tank top. But it didn't even occur to him to flirt with her seriously, and it wasn't just because Emma was watching. No, it was because the color of red exactly matched the shade of Emma's dress the night before, and suddenly all he could think about was a dream where he'd gotten to peel her out of it. Quickly derailing that train of thought before it could visibly affect him, Killian stepped back from Ruby and trained his grin back on Granny. "I often go into your restaurant for breakfast, although Emma's is just as good, but I suspect I'm in for a treat if I eat here this fine morning."

Emma's eyebrows shot sky high a second after Ruby's did the same, both of them shocked into silence as Granny blushed, for possibly the only time in either of their memories.

"Oh, it's just pancakes and bacon, which I best get to finishing." A blush still staining her cheeks, Granny turned back to the stove even as Killian winked at Emma before taking a seat at the table.

Granny was clearly flustered, and Emma had to break eye contact with Ruby before both of them broke out into giggles. But her eyes jumped back up a second later when Ruby cleared her throat, purposely taking a seat across from Killian and leaning forward on the pretense of offering him the dish of jam to go with the toast he'd already begun munching on.

Home for 20 minutes, and Granny already had breakfast for four almost done; Emma shouldn't have expected anything less. But she knew that wasn't what Ruby had been trying to draw her attention to, and she smirked at Ruby over Killian's head as he completely ignored the peek she was offering him, although he did thank her for the jam, his attention fluctuating between it and Granny, immediately letting out a soft moan as he took his first bite and asked Granny if she made it herself.

The moan was a teasing echo of the ones he'd made for her in the shower, and Emma felt the blush stain her cheeks even as she crossed to the stove to put the kettle on, trying to keep her voice even as she said softly to Granny that Killian preferred tea to coffee. She got his preferred breakfast tea down from the cupboard as Granny nodded to her even while answering him, "It's mostly raspberry, but I've found that adding some strawberry gives that perfect hint of sweetness."

"I enjoy a perfect blend of tart and sweet." Killian's voice was perfectly even, but his eyes flicked back to Emma, and her blush deepened as she heard Ruby's soft gasp, knowing her friend had caught an edge of the glimmer of heat in his eyes. She was glad that Granny's back was still to him as she finished flipping pancakes, because there was no way she would have mistaken that look, and Ruby had definitely come by her directness and lack of tact through both nature and nurture.

Ruby's eyes flashed to Emma, widening when Emma only blushed, grabbing a cup of coffee before crossing to sit at the table next to him. There was a page's worth of words in that glance though, all of them approving, and Emma thought back to what Ruby had drawn her attention to. She'd tried, twice now, to flirt with Killian, and he'd clearly but nonchalantly made it plain he wasn't interested.

She could hear Ruby in her head, saying he'd passed the test August had failed. Ah, August, Emma thought even as Killian engaged Granny in conversation about her vacation, not the least bit surprised when the older woman lauded it as paradise, none of the complaining she'd done when alone with Ruby and Emma voiced in the slightest. It was part company manners and part truth, Emma knew, Granny had likely enjoyed and loathed the vacation in equal measures, glad for the chance to relax and help her granddaughter but also feeling just wrong about being away from the inn and town she hadn't left in 20 years.

August had been the only guy in Storybrooke she'd ever gone on a date with other than Walsh, and while he'd actually been a relatively nice guy he'd also had a wandering eye. He'd been a writer, passing through just as Killian was, but he'd hinted that he might settle down if only he found the right woman. Freshly arrived in Storybrooke, and eager for a new start, Emma had imagined that might be her. Until she saw the way August leered at Ruby when he was supposed to be on his first date with her. At least that time she'd realized she would never be enough before she got too invested.

She let herself be drawn into a conversation about the vacation, so happy that Ruby seemed to be doing better, and laughing as the women recounted some of funnier moments. She offered to clean up when they were done eating, knowing Granny really was eager to get out to her greenhouse. The older woman vanished out the back door with a grin, and Ruby waited precisely five seconds after the door had shut before saying with a huge grin, "So..."

Killian reached up to scratch behind his ear as he made a noncommittal sound, and Emma absently recognized the tell from earlier and made a mental note to try and get him to play poker. Maybe strip poker... _focus_. "We were out on a date when it happened, but Red, can you just let it be for now, I..."

"I'd say we need a girls night, but I imagine your nights are busy for the foreseeable future." Ruby was as blunt as ever, ignoring the fact that Killian still sat at the table with them, although he currently looked like he wished he was anywhere else.

But Emma took the comment in the spirit it was intended, grinning at her friend and knowing just the fact that he hadn't physically reacted to her made Ruby approve of him, at least for now. She'd have to get to know him better before she gave him a gold seal, but Emma could hardly fault that, as she was the same way herself. "Think Granny will get suspicious if I'm around here too much?"

"Well, do you want to risk her overhearing you, or David and our princess?"

Killian tried to concentrate on finishing his breakfast, unsure how he could enter the conversation without making a fool of himself, and eventually made himself focus on simply understanding. When Emma wasn't watching the inn she lived in a duplex, she'd told him that much, and he gathered that David and Mary Margaret, who could easily be described familiarly and in good fun as a princess, must be the other people living in the house. Given the scene Ruby had walked in on, Emma in a robe and him in just his jeans, both clearly wet from a shower and coming from his room, it was clear what she imagined was between them, and given how close they'd come, well...

"I wouldn't have had to think about that for a few days yet, but..."

"You know Graham had to call her, she owns the property." Ruby said practically as she finished off her pancakes, helping Emma clear the table absently, yet when Killian mumbled an excuse and rose to leave she pinned him to his chair with a glare. "And she really did have fun, but she missed her inn all the same. The same way I missed the restaurant, but I needed to get away. I'm okay, Blondie, and it was time to come back. And I think Granny would be fine with you sticking around for a day or two more at least, it was in the plans after all. And you do know Killian's... hm... _schedule_ better than anyone else."

"Re-eddd..." Emma groaned her friends name, blushing at the blatant innuendo, feeling the blush deepen when she heard Killian's chuckle.

"You don't seem like an idiot."

Killian jerked sightly as he realized the comment had to be addressed to him, and swallowed his last bite of truly excellent pancakes before raising his gaze to meet Ruby's. "I try not to be." He responded evenly, as before not offended at Emma's friends testing him. Even knowing only the basics of what she had been through, he knew what it had to mean to her to have friends who cared. He tried to remember what that felt like.

"What does the name Neal mean to you?"

"RUBY!" Emma snapped, spinning to glare at her furiously, mouth opening and closing as she tried to keep herself from snapping at her best friend.

Killian only held Ruby's gaze, rising and crossing over to stand between the ladies as he answered in a voice laced with menace, "Bloody bastard who saw the lost girl, the duckling, instead of the magnificent swan."

Emma wasn't sure if her gasp or Ruby's was louder.

"You told him... about..." Ruby stuttered to a stop, so used to protecting what she knew of Emma that she wasn't about to let anything slip.

Emma turned wide eyes to him, clutching at his forearm even as she whispered, "How did you... I..."

She trailed off, clearly unable to talk about it at the moment, and Ruby felt her jaw drop when Killian only smiled softly at Emma, a tenderness in his eyes that she recognized all too well.

Peter used to look at her like that, Ruby thought with a sigh, and though she still felt the wave of sadness that she'd never see that look again, it wasn't the debilitating tidal wave of despair it had been before. As Emma had told her, it just took time. And seeing Emma so clearly infatuated for what she knew from drunken confessions was the first time in ten years, Ruby could only hope that one day she'd get to that point as well.

But right now it was too hard to watch and so she slipped quietly from the room, murmuring about needed to unpack, not even sure if either of them noticed.

"When I first got here, when Ruby first found out my last name was Swan, she made an ugly duckling joke." Emma said softly when Killian only looked at her without speaking further. She could see a hesitation in his eyes, a worry that he had somehow messed up the careful balance they had agreed upon, and she smiled softly when she let herself admit that her gasp had been from the compliment. It hadn't brought up that shaking fear, not in the slightest.

"That was only coincidence and you know it, although you are indeed magnificent, Swan." Killian slid closer to her, his smile widening when her arms slid around his shoulders even as his own closed around her waist. "Why was she asking about Neal?"

Emma froze in his arms, so rather than pressing her he lowered his lips to hers slowly, tightening his arms and pulling her closer as he deepened the kiss. He'd told her very early on that he was only interested in stories when someone was willing to tell them, and he had been completely truthful.

"So, if we go out tonight that will be five dates, unorthodox as all of them were." He whispered against her lips when they paused to breath, and he couldn't stop himself from trailing light kisses over her cheek and down her neck. "Is that enough for me to be invited in to your place, or will I be leaving you at your door? Or will you stay here longer, and we'll be like teenagers trying to avoid Granny catching us."

Emma grinned at him wickedly, her hands sliding around to caress over his back and ass. "I happen to know my upstairs neighbors are staying out at the farm tonight, so we're going there." He nodded, yet she saw the flash of uncertainly in his eyes and took a deep breath, knowing that he deserved an answer. "And she asked because it's the easy way to see if I trust you, no one else she's ever grilled has even known the name... Ruby, she uh, she just backtracks and jokes that she had an ex with that name who was a complete ass, so if anyone likes the name she can't be friends with them. She says enough other crazy shit on her own no one suspects anything."

A grin of delight lit his face, and the kiss he gave her was full of joy. "So we're going out tonight?"

"I don't know about the Lily Pad though, it might be bad luck at this point. First the power blows the night we're going to go, then the other time we try it's closed."

"I believe the phrase is third time's the charm." Killian smiled softly. "Although I don't believe they have a band tonight, a shame as we dance rather well together."

"There's more than one kind of dancing." Emma grinned at him, nipping softly at his bottom lip. "Although no jambalaya. I'd hate to _disabuse you of the notion_ that I'm a good cook."

Killian chuckled as she tried to say the phrase in his accent, a phrase she'd teased him about using just the other day. But apparently had remembered. "Agreed, no jambalaya." He managed to keep a straight face for about five seconds as she pulled back, and he could see the question in her eyes as her mind raced. The moment he saw her take it as an insult he kissed her softly before she could say anything, trailing kisses over to her ear as he whispered, "But only because there's no way it could compare."

OoOoOoOoO

Emma cursed as the inn's phone rang when she was halfway down the stairs. She knew Ruby was at the diner for the evening, making sure they hadn't royally screwed up the place while she'd been gone, Ruby's words, of course. And she could hear the pipes that meant Granny was in the shower.

"Lucas Manor." Emma slowed her mad dash down the last few stairs and into the living room as she heard Killian answer the kitchen phone. "Well, hello, love. I've only been gone for two weeks, don't tell me you're missing me already."

Emma froze, still out of sight from the kitchen, as his warm chuckle drifted through the archway and she felt her heart shatter. She'd jinxed herself, tricked herself, wanted to give him a chance when she should have known better all along.

Her hand clutched at her neck, pulling on the chain around it until her palm closed around the swan pendant, squeezing enough that it actually hurt. She'd let herself forget why she wore it.

"Oh, that's marvelous, Katie, I can't wait to see."

Emma sunk down slowly unto the couch, a whirlwind of emotions swirling through her. Unbidden, Ruby's words of not waiting for the other shoe to drop came back almost like a taunt. All his words about her being worth it, about him not feeling like this since Milah, were a lie. Of course they were, Emma chided herself as she angrily scrubbed her hands over her face before it went blank, the mask she'd lived under for years back as if it had never vanished. She should have known better than to let it down; she'd never been enough for anyone and she never would be.

"No, no, good news is best when it's fresh. It'll be at least six weeks love, but I promise I'll be back."

 _"You're going to leave like everyone else." "I've never said otherwise..."_ Emma cursed under her breath as memories of the last few weeks came unbidden. The softness in his eyes and the way it had shifted to passion when she kissed him. The way he understood her without her saying a word. How he just read her moods, knowing when she needed a nudge and when to back off. All the ways he made her laugh. How her body heated when he...

"No, I've not found anything yet, but I knew it was a long shot anyway. Storybrooke is perfect for this screenplay though, so at least this stone has managed to kill one of the birds."

One of the birds. What was the other one? What else was he here for? One question after another spun through Emma's mind, and she felt her walls come up again as if by magic. No one could hurt you if you didn't let them, if you didn't...

"Love you too, Katie. I'll talk to you soon."

He had been fucking lying to her since the day he starting flirting with her. Knowing there was no way she could deal with him right now, Emma rose abruptly and spun back towards the stairs. Her foot had just hit the third one when she heard his voice.

"Ready to go, love?" Killian stopped halfway across the living room as he saw her heading up the stairs instead of down as he'd expected, his head tilting in confusion when she gasped and stiffened at the sound of his voice. "What is it?"

"You fucking bastard." It was all she could get out before she felt the catch in her chest, and she couldn't even look at him, tossing it over her shoulder as she ran up the stairs, slamming the door to her temporary bedroom behind her.

"What the bloody..." Killian stood frozen as she had been seconds ago, hearing the pain in her voice, and the anger in her tread as she fled up the stairs, but having no clue as to their cause.

Things had been going well between them, at least he'd thought they had been. She'd been opening up to him in small ways, sharing kisses, cuddling on the couch at night watching movies. And that wasn't even counting their impromptu shower this morning, or the invitation to her place tonight.

They were supposed to be leaving for a date any minute. They'd joked about it after breakfast, bringing up memories of making jambalaya together, of their first kiss, and while he'd been busy writing all afternoon and hadn't seen her, there was nothing that...

"Bloody hell." The blood drained from his face as he wondered if she had overheard his phone conversation, and he took the stairs two at a time, his heart pounding almost as loudly as his feet. He stopped outside her door, knocking gently and calling out, "Love, it's not what you think."

"You use that so you don't have to remember our names, right?"

Killian flinched at the venom in her voice, but the pain he could hear under it was what nearly broke him. He leaned his forehead on the door even as he slipped his wallet from his back pocket, pulling out one of only two pictures in it. "I call women _love_ because my brother always did, and he was my hero. Please, Emma, just come to the door."

"Just leave me alone!"

"EMMA!" Killian huffed, bending down to slide the picture under the door, face up. "If you ever trusted me at all, just come to the door. You've misunderstood, and I need less than thirty seconds to explain. You promised to talk to me, please just listen as well."

"I've heard enough, and... who is..."

Killian latched unto the questioning tone in her voice, and realized she had trusted him enough to pick up the picture. "That's my brother, Liam, and his wife Katie. He's been gone even longer than Milah, and I don't know if either Katie or myself would have gotten through losing him if we'd not had the other. I love her, but not in the way you're thinking. She's my sister, at least that's..."

He trailed off as he heard the soft click of the door opening, though her eyes were on the floor and her cheeks bright pink, at least she had opened the door. He saw the evidence of tears on her cheeks, though she'd tried to hide it, and slowly reached up to cup her cheek, his thumb wiping away the single tear that escaped as she heeded his gentle urging and raised her eyes to his. He saw the embarrassment in them and only smiled gently. "I don't juggle women, Emma, and I don't lie to them either."

"It's not even any of my... I mean we don't have..."

He could see she was still embarrassed, and trying to backtrack, and so he flashed a grin and let his eyes twinkle at her. "If you think I'm upset by your reaction you'd be mistaken, but I'm sorry that for even a minute I made you think I was a fucking bastard."

The mix of good cheer and teasing in his voice helped to level her back out. She knew she'd overreacted, but even though he didn't know much about her past he clearly understood enough to not hold it against her. "I know you're not, I do, it's just..." As the anger and hurt melted away, she remembered the other thing he had said. "What's the other bird?"

Killian blinked, lost for a moment before he remembered what he'd said on the phone. "If I take the time to explain we'll miss our reservation, love, and it's not exactly a date story."

Emma could see that he was telling the truth on both counts, and she saw a mix of both anger and pain swirl thorugh his eyes briefly before he hid it again. It was that more than anything, and the fact that he'd never pushed her, that made her smile gently. "Can we just erase the last ten minutes?"

Killian's answering smile was automatic and just as soft. "That's a brilliant idea. I'll be waiting in the living room."

Emma's eyes slid shut as he brushed a kiss across her cheek, and she breathed, "I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

"You've a right to protect yourself, Emma." He whispered back, pulling her into a loose hug rather than backing away as he had planned. "And you're not a mess, you've just scars that aren't as obvious as mine." The sound she made was halfway between a laugh and a scoff, but her arms came around him in return, sliding up around his shoulders as she nuzzled her nose into the crook of his neck and made him shiver. "I'm just glad you didn't slap me."

This time her laugh was full out. "Me too. I'm gonna fix my face, then let's get out of here."

He tightened the hug for a moment before pulling back, cupping both her cheeks and kissing her softly on the forehead. "I'd have had much the same reaction, love, if that helps."

Before Emma could think of how to respond to that he was turning and heading back down the stairs.

TBC...


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. All opening chapter quotes are from "Till I Found You" by Freestyle. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: I don't wanna talk about it other than to apologize for my absense, but I'm back! Sorry for the 2 month hiatus, life happens.

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoO_

 _"_ _I had been badly hurt before._

 _Ever_ _since then, I would ignore_

 _Any chance for love -_

 _I thought it was a lie._ _"_

 _OoOoOoO_

Chapter 9:

"So was it worth the wait?"

Killian grinned at Emma as he finished his wine, his eyes flicking around the half full restaurant. "I picked up at taste for Cajun and Creole food when I stayed in New Orleans a few years ago, and I have to say the Lily Pad is right up there with the best meals I had down there. Although the jambalaya we made wouldn't have been out of place either."

Emma grinned as he teased her about her earlier joke, and suddenly remembered the movie she'd been watching the night they met and how he liked to live in the settings he was writing about. "The Mardi Gras Murders?"

His eyes widened as she correctly tagged the movie he had written while down there, surprised as it had actually been one of his least popular although it was a personal favorite. "Aye, you've seen it?"

"I, uh..." Emma blushed.

Killian's eyes widened in curiosity, his head tilting as he studied her, trying to figure out why such a mundane question had elicited such a response. "Didn't like it?" He teased.

"No, I did, I just..." Emma took a deep breath, looking down into the remains of her pecan pie as she whispered, "It was the movie I fell asleep to the night you showed up."

Rather than take offense, Killian chuckled. "I believe a few critics did the same."

Her head whipped up at that, a small smile flashing when she caught the twinkle in his eyes. "I liked what I remember, it had just been a really long day."

"And then I had to show up and interrupt your sleep."

Her smile turned slightly shy as she murmured, "In retrospect I'm really okay with that. One of my first thoughts was you should be a lead actor, not hidden behind the scenes."

"One of my first was that you were beautiful, and so adorable trying to wake up. Well, I also worried I was in the wrong house, but..."

This time it was Emma that chuckled. "I can understand that." She reached out across the table, smile beaming when he immediately reached out and met her halfway. "You ready to get out of here?"

The heat that filled his eyes was the only answer she needed.

Their hands linked again as they left, stopping to chat with Tiana at the door and thank her for the truly excellent meal.

"Want to watch it with me at some point?" Emma questioned as she slid into the passenger seat of his car.

He blinked, one hand still holding hers and the other on her door, until he realized she was talking about the movie she'd fallen asleep to. He chuckled. "I generally try to avoid watching my previous works while I'm writing a new one, I get distracted by what I could have done differently and, well... it can be problematic. Focus too much on the past, and it affects the present and the future."

She heard the double message in his words, and smiled softly. "No past tonight. Just you and me. And an empty house."

His desire had been on a low burn all day, while their actions in the shower had provided a much needed physical relief for both of them, it had only been a taste of what they truly wanted. He saw the same desire reflected in her eyes, and dropped a kiss on her fingers before releasing her so he could close the door.

Emma took a deep breath at the heat and intensity of his gaze, a slight shiver running down her spine as she watched him jog around the front of the car and slide in beside her. It was anticipation rather than fear though, and she gave him directions in a sure voice even as her hand slid over to rest on his thigh.

He moved his hand to cover hers, tossing her a small smile when they pulled up in front of her house a few minutes later. "So, care to ask a lad in for a cup of coffee?"

Emma laughed as he drew her hand up to his lips again, but once again she heard the double meaning. He was asking one last time if she was sure. "I was thinking more another glass of wine."

"And another dessert." He started nibbling on her finger tips and Emma felt her breath catch yet again. Their eyes locked, and a second later they were both exiting the car, hands linking again as they walked up the short walk to the building.

Killian barely noticed their surroundings, blood humming as he followed Emma, his hands falling to her hips when she had to release his hand to unlock her door. He stepped up close behind her, fingers sliding over the pink satin even as he dropped a soft kiss on the back of her neck. "Have I told you how stunning you look tonight?"

"Only about five times." Emma's voice was breathy, heat spiraling through her as she got the door unlocked even as the tips of his fingers danced over the sides of her breasts.

Killian forced himself to release her as she moved through the door, fighting with the part of him that wanted to just pin her to the wall the second the door closed behind them. If it wasn't their first time he probably would have done exactly that, especially given her reaction the one time he'd done it. But he wanted more for them than that. They both _deserved_ more than that.

Emma set her purse on the table near the door before turning to face him as he absently locked the door, the click of it sounding loud in the silent apartment. "So, wine or dessert?"

Her voice was still breathy, her cheeks flushed and eyes hot, but Killian could still read the slight nerves in the way her hands twitched at her sides rather than reach out to him. He could also see that they were more anticipation than anything else, and could understand the sentiment.

The passion was still there, but it shifted to something softer as he closed the distance between them, one hand falling to her hip again as the other reached up to cup her cheek. "I was still hoping you'd dance with me again."

Her arms slipped around his torso, her heels putting them at nearly an equal height. "My iPod is still out at Granny's." Her eyes twinkled at him though, dropping a barely there kiss on his lips before whispering in his ear, "Guess we'll have to try a different kind of dancing."

The heat flashed between them as their lips met, slowly at first but with a quickly growing passion.

Her hands slid up his chest at the same moment his slid back into her hair, deepening the kiss. Killian tried to pull her closer, but she resisted. The split second of worry melted back to heat when he felt her fingers undoing the buttons of his black and silver vest, and he released her just long enough to slide it from his shoulders at her prompting. Her fingers went immediately to the line of buttons on his black dress shirt, still kissing him as her hands caressed over the burning skin she was slowly revealing.

When they finally broke the kiss to breath she leaned in to nip at his ear, loving the extra height the heels provided, before husking, "I believe I was promised a bed."

"Lead the way, love." He breathed back, his hands busy gently pulling the hair tie from her high ponytail to let it fall in waves down her back. One hand caressed through it as the other toyed with the zipper between her shoulder blades, his lips ghosting down her neck.

She pulled out of his arms just enough to take both his hands in hers as she pulled him down the short hallway to her bedroom.

Killian finished unzipping her dress before shrugging out of his shirt, reaching out to catch her hands in his when they went up to pull the straps of her dress off her shoulders. "Let me." He breathed, smiling softly at the way her breath caught at the desire in his voice. She let her hands fall to her sides in obvious agreement, and Killian kissed her softly as he brought his hands to her shoulders, playing over the straps of the dress, chuckling as he brought his lips over to kiss down her neck, watching the gooseflesh form and feeling her tremble.

"You're so beautiful, Emma." He nipped at her ear before continuing his journey down her neck, feeling her hands slide around his waist before digging her nails in briefly. He hissed his pleasure even as he used his nose to nudge the strap down her shoulder, his lips continuing to brush and nibble at her collerbone.

When her fingers dug into his hips this time it was completely beyond her control, and she breathed his name, her walls a hairsbreath away from evaporating. The knowledge that he wasn't staying, that she didn't get to keep this, flitted at the edge of her consciousness, but then his lips were trailing over the top of her breasts even as he slowly lowered her dress, and her thoughts began to fracture again. "You've already seen me naked."

It was one of the rare times he couldn't quite place the tone in her voice, though he wasn't certain if that was mostly due to his thoughts being elsewhere. Like in a shower with her naked in his arms. "Aye, but without the pleasure of undressing you." He kissed his way back up to her lips, spiraling them into another deep kiss even as he pulled her fingers from his hips, lowering them to let the dress slip down to her feet in a whisper of satin. "And though it's beyond amazing, I mean more than just your body, love."

Before she could digest the sincerity in his voice his lips were on hers again, drawing her back into another heated kiss even as his hands slid from her hips to her ass, pulling her against him and letting her feel just how much he wanted her.

It was his turn to tremble when his hands cupped her ass and found it bare, his kiss heating further as she reacted to his touch. Killian slid his fingers up her hips, wanting to play with the straps of her thong as he had those of her dress, and this time it was his fingers biting into her as he found nothing but soft, heated skin. "Gods, love, are you trying to kill me?"

"Just kick your incredible ass."

He chuckled even as he slid his hands to the back of her thighs, and hers slid around his neck as she anticipated him. Delighted by that, he lifted her up, groaning in unison with her as it drew her naked core against where he strained against his dark trousers. Unable to help himself, he spun them to pin her against the wall, swallowing her gasp even as he started to pulse his hips lightly into her.

"Gods, love, I don't know what I want more, to taste you or to be inside you."

Emma shivered at the hint of dark desire in his voice, locking her ankles at the small of his back even as her hands trailed over his strong shoulders. His eyes were on hers, and she caught the hint of a question in his voice even through the roughness. It made her suddenly remember their shower that morning, and how he'd questioned in the same tone if he only wanted to watch her, or if he wanted to touch her.

With a flash of insight she realized he wasn't really asking himself, he was asking her. He was making sure he wasn't pushing, making sure of what she wanted, but he was doing it in a way that didn't make it awkward or discordant. Everything in her went soft for a moment, and her walls evaporated. She knew he saw it in her eyes when his own went wide with wonder, and the next kiss he eased them into was achingly gentle.

"Killian..."

Her whisper trailed off, hands tightening on his shoulders involuntarily, as her head whipped towards the still open bedroom door. "Did you hear..."

He could barely hear anything over the pounding of his heart and their harsh breathing, but he took the question seriously, freezing at once and tilting his head to hear what sounded, maybe, like scratching noises. He nodded even as he considered that the scratching wasn't rhythmic, and sounded somehow metallic.

Emma unlocked her ankles, sliding a finger over her lips to indicate silence even as she slid down his body, stepping soundlessly out of her heels and crossing the room, grabbing a robe from the floor on the way and shrugging it on as she quickly opened her nightstand and pulled out a lock-box.

He mourned the addition of clothes until he heard the scratching stop with a loud click, and realized belatedly what she clearly already had; the sounds had been someone picking the lock on her front door.

He flicked his eyes back to her to find the lock-box open and a small gun, likely normally worn on her ankle or at her back, held steadily in her hand. She crossed back towards him even as she raised her free hand to her face with her fingers curled in, thumb at her ear and pinky by her mouth in the universal symbol for a telephone.

He got her meaning at once. Her phone was still in her purse, out in the living room, so she wanted him to call for back-up. And likely planned on going out to confront the burglar while he was safe in the bedroom.

Even knowing she was trained, the plan still galled at him. But he saw the look in her eyes, the one that said she wouldn't take kindly to anything he tried to do to protect her. And it wasn't like they had time to discuss it.

Killian took a deep breath, pulling his phone from his pocket even as he reached out with his other hand, fingers resting briefly over her heart. He mouthed the words _be careful_ and she nodded.

He forced his heart to unclench as she edged out of the bedroom, pulling up his contacts list and finding Graham, grateful now that Emma had had him add him after the break in at Granny's. His heart clenched again as he realized they had to be connected, and that she had to be the target.

He quickly shot off a text and thought about calling as well, not sure how often Graham checked his texts, but the apartment was small enough he knew that his voice would carry to the living room, giving away Emma's element of surprise.

It hadn't been more than forty seconds, and the continued silence other than the occasional sound of a drawer opening was encouraging, but Killian was already sliding his phone back into his pocket, making sure it was silenced, and heading out the door after Emma.

He'd only gotten a few steps when the lights in the living room flicked on, and he heard Emma's completely serious voice, "Hands where I can see them, stand up slowly."

"It's just me, love." He said softly as he moved up behind her, not wanting to distract her but at the same time not wanting her startle her. He saw her head nod, and she moved a few steps sideways, her gun never straying from where it was pointed into the far corner of the room from the door. He'd been too distracted when they were first here to remember what was there, but as he moved into the room just enough to see, careful not to cross her line of sight, he realized that her desk sat in that corner, her laptop open on it and clearly in the process of booting up.

And in front of that desk stood a man, his back to them as his hands slowly raised from the computer keys. He wore black jeans and a non-descript black coat, a black beanie on his head that could have been a full ski mask, though it wasn't pulled down at the moment. Likely due to the fact that, if the thief had done any research at all, he hadn't thought anyone would be in the building.

"Lace your fingers behind your head."

"I don't know if you have a gun or not, Emma, but we both know you're not going to shoot me."

Killian drew in a startled breath as the man addressed her by name, keeping his hands high in the air even as he started to turn around, and his eyes flew to Emma as he heard her gasp. The gun that had been steady in her hand a second ago was shaking, her eyes wide with a mix of disbelief and what he could swear was pain.

But it was gone in an instant, and he watched walls snap up that he hadn't seen since the first few days he knew her. Her eyes hardened even as the man continued talking.

"I should have known you wouldn't keep anything at Granny's, but it was empty more often than this place was, with either your neighbors or their babysitter always home. You weren't supposed to be here, I know Granny is back but I figured you'd still be out there tonight, and for the first time the house was empty and... oh..." The man trailed off as his eyes finally slipped from Emma to Killian, noticing him for the first time.

Killian watched as Emma set the safety on her gun before slipping it into the pocket of her robe, his curiosity burning, shocked when she then crossed the room and slapped the man across the face, hard. He tensed, taking a few steps forward before he even realized he had moved, ready to intercept any reprisal from the man, but the stranger only rotated his neck before turning back to meet her eyes. "I suppose I deserved that."

Killian realized who it had to be only a second before Emma snapped out, "What the hell are you doing here, Neal?"

Neal had just opened his mouth to answer when Emma's front door banged open, and Graham came in with his gun drawn.

"It's okay." Emma said at once, her eyes leaving Neal for the first time since she'd realized it was him and flicking to the sheriff. "Meet Neal."

The way Graham's eyes widened let Killian know he was one of the few Emma had told about Neal, and he tried to tamp down the jealously that swirled through him as Graham immediately holstered his gun, crossing to Emma and putting a hand on her shoulder protectively. It took him only a second to put the pieces together, and his voice and face hardened as he squeezed Emma's shoulder before stepping towards Neal even as he pulled out his handcuffs. "Neal Cassidy, you're under arrest for..."

"Wait." Emma breathed, her soft voice carrying just enough for Grahan to cut himself off and turn to her. "I need to know why he's here. It's my laptop he was looking for when he... I assume you're the one who broke into Granny's?"

Neal's eyes hardened as well, looking out of place with the fake smile he flashed her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Fine, it doesn't matter at the moment." Emma sighed. "Neal, it's been ten fucking years. Why are you here? What are you looking for?"

Neal's eyes flicked to both Graham and Killian before he locked them on Emma. "You don't want to do this here."

"Graham, can you wait outside for a few minutes?" Emma asked without batting an eye.

"Of course. Are we going to be arresting him?" Graham's voice was mild, and Killian had a moment to realize once again just how different things were in small towns. He trusted Emma, so even though Neal had been caught breaking in, and was clearly a likely suspect in the break in a Granny's at well, he knew at least enough of this back story to respect however she wanted to play things.

"I haven't decided yet."

Graham only nodded and backed out the front door, closing it behind him.

"Just let me grab my shirt, Emma, and I'll..."

"Stay." Emma looked back at Killian for the first time since she'd seen Neal, a million different thoughts still vying for dominance in her head. But she always felt safe with him, and the one thought she couldn't get over was that she didn't want to do whatever this was alone. "Please."

She barely breathed the final plea, and Killian's heart broke for her as he nodded softly, knowing how hard this had to be for her. "I still think I should get my shirt."

Emma appreciated the soft humor in his voice, it leveled her out just enough for her to take a deep breath, nodding.

When he returned, still finishing the buttons as he hadn't wanted to leave her alone for longer than absolutely necessary, he found Neal sitting in her computer chair, and slid in beside her on the couch.

"You sure you don't want to be alone for this, Ems?"

"Why are you here?" Emma's frustration was evident as she repeated her earlier question.

"I'm trying to find our son."

Killian felt the shock flash through him even as Emma stiffened beside him, and without thought he slid his arm around her back even as his scarred hand came to rest on her knee. He saw the disgust that filled Neal's face when his eyes flicked to it, but the shame melted away when Emma's hand grasped his own without hesitation, squeezing tightly.

"I haven't seen him since he was born." Emma's words were barely a whisper, and she could only be grateful for Killian's silent support. She honestly wasn't sure if she could have gotten through this encounter on her own, and that thought didn't scare her nearly as much as it should.

"You never told me."

"I didn't know until..."

Killian just listened, wanting to be there for her but unable to stop his mind from trying to piece things together. She'd told him that Neal had left her without warning, so he assumed she meant she hadn't known she was with child until she was alone already. But he remembered how she'd glossed over the time right after Neal left her, and knew there had to be more to the story.

"I would have..."

"Oh, please." Emma's voice turned scornful, and he could hear the pain under the anger in her voice as she drew away from him, rising to pace the room, her agitation clear in her jerky movements. "I wasn't enough for you, and that's fine. I never am. But you were gone, Neal. You were gone, and your parting gift landed me in jail for ten months. I found out I was pregnant a month in, and... and I knew the baby would be better off without me. I could hardly give him a life, and it wasn't like I knew how to find you. Not that I would have trusted you with him anyway."

Killian watched the emotions flickering across both their faces even as he tried to digest what she'd said. She'd gone to prison, from the sound of it for something Neal had done, or at least been part of, and while there had given up for adoption the baby of the man who had abandoned her. No wonder she had issues with trust, and with people leaving.

"After you left to get the watches..."

It was a complete non-sequitur to Killian, but he watched Emma's eyes harden further.

"After you left, my father found me."

"Your..."

Everything about Emma's demeanor changed, and Killian watched with concern as she paled before lowering herself to the couch once again, although with the majority of it between them. He wanted to go to her but wasn't sure if he would be welcome.

"I don't know how he found me, I didn't even realize he was looking, that he cared enough to..." Neal trailed off awkwardly as he glanced towards Killian before taking a different track. "He told me I'd been running from the family business long enough, and that one way or another I was never going to see you again. He said that either his cop friends would arrest you, and you'd go to jail for a few months, or there would be an unfortunate incident that ended in your death. I've told you about him, you know he would have..."

Emma's emotions were as jumbled as her thoughts. He had indeed told her enough about his father, one of the most powerful mob lords on the eastern coast, to know the threat had been serious. He'd never told her his name, and she'd believed she was safer not knowing, but she couldn't get over one fact. "That was ten years ago, why now?" She was grateful her voice came out hard, that her blank mask didn't falter, because even through the mad and the hurt she was starting to understand.

"I'm sure he found out you were pregnant, but he made sure I never did." Neal said softly, his voice clearly pleading for understanding. "I tried to be what he wanted, tried to... but he's gotten more and more unpredictable as the years have gone on, more... vindictive, and... and I can't do it anymore. I was hacking his computers one day when I found the file on... on you..."

"I don't know anything, Neal. I don't know his name, or who adopted him, or... I didn't want to know. Why didn't you just hack the damn files and leave me alone?"

"Because there aren't any. Your prison record doesn't mention it, there are no medical records, no... I'm sure my father did it, but his files didn't say either, and, and I hoped that you were somehow in contact."

"I'm not." Emma said bluntly. "You should go."

"Go directly to jail?"

Emma's small smile didn't reach her eyes. "I won't press charges, and you can't be connected to Granny's. Just go and never make me see you again."

"Emma, it was all my father, if he hadn't..."

"Neal, I don't care. I can't help you find our... I can't help you. And I'm guessing your father won't be happy when he finds out you saw me."

"I didn't want to put you on his radar again, that's why I tried to find out without seeing you, but Ems..."

"Don't!" She surged to her feet, hands fisting at her sides. "There was a way, Neal. You could have found a way if you'd really... I'm not going through this. Just go."

Emma crossed to the door and opened it, speaking softly to Graham for a moment before turning and pointedly standing at the open door.

Neal rose, moving towards the door even as he spoke again, "I'm working with the FBI to help convict him, Ems, soon he won't be able to hurt us."

"Good." Emma said simply, her tone still clearly dismissive.

Killian sat frozen on the couch as she closed the door behind Neal, everything in him screaming at him to help her, to comfort her, but not knowing how to do that.

"I'll understand if you just want to leave."

Killian didn't know how to respond to that other than to cross to her, pulling her into his arms with a whispered, "Only if you want me to, love."

She reached behind her to lock the door without even looking, tilting her head up to draw him into a kiss. "What I want is to pick up where we left off."

TBC...


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. All opening chapter quotes are from "Till I Found You" by Freestyle. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: So does the fact that some of you predicted how this would go mean my writing is boring, lol, or just that my characters are consistent? And I'm glad I was able to surprise some of you with Neal, I wanted to find as many ways as possible to mirror the show even though this is AU. It's been pointed out that my Emma is a bit more open with Killian than Emma was with Hook, but if you think about it, I think it makes sense. She's not meeting him as a "villain" and getting to know him during a very traumatic and life changing series of never ending emergencies. She's had a bit of time to settle into SB and make friends, and while she still has the pain in her past I can see her being much more open if she'd been in SB for awhile without, you know, magic and curses and dark ones and such. And thinking of it as a "spring fling" is certainly helping her. Killian's a bit lighter too. Sure, he's got pain in his past, but not a few centuries of death and piracy, lol. Reviews are always welcome, thanks to all who do, it's great to know what you think!

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoO_

 _"_ _I never had somebody I could lean on._

 _I never had a shoulder I could cry on_

 _'Til I found you babe -_

 _'Til I found you._ _"_

 _OoOoOoO_

Chapter 10:

Killian sat frozen on the couch as she closed the door behind Neal, everything in him screaming at him to help her, to comfort her, but not knowing how to do that.

"I'll understand if you just want to leave."

Killian didn't know how to respond to that other than to cross to her, pulling her into his arms with a whispered, "Only if you want me to, love."

She reached behind her to lock the door without even looking, tilting her head up to draw him into a kiss. "What I want is to pick up where we left off."

He kissed her back, he couldn't not when she pressed herself against him like this, reigniting the heat that had been simmering between them all day. But there was a recklessness and desperation in her touch that hadn't been there before, all of the softness and affection gone, and it set off warning bells that made him gentle the kiss even as she tried to deepen it further.

When she ignored his shirt and went straight for his belt this time, Killian pulled back with a groan, catching her hands in his own and murmuring, "Emma, wait..."

"Why?" Her voice carried the desperation as well, and he pulled back enough to catch the mix of shock and panic in her eyes. "Let's just do another rewind, erase the last ten minutes and..." Her eyes started to close down even as her face blanked. "Unless something's changed."

"No, Emma, no." He kept her hands in his, realizing immediately what she was thinking and drawing her over to the couch to sit beside her tense form. "It doesn't matter to me what's in your past. You don't owe me every memory after two weeks, bloody hell, you wouldn't owe it to me after two years if you weren't ready to speak of it. But can you honestly tell me your mind is just on us at the moment? Can you really just pretend that didn't happen?"

 _Two years._ Out of everything he'd said, it was that phrase that started running on repeat through her head. He said it as if he'd still be around in two years, as if they'd have that time to talk. _You never told me._ Neal's accusation joined her fractured thoughts. As if he'd been there.

"It happened ten years ago, and you'll be gone in six weeks. You're the one who's all about living in the here and now."

"That's because it's all I've ever had." Killian said softly, sighing. "You know I'm curious love, it would be hard not to be, but I'm not going to ask. We don't have to talk about it, that's not why I stopped you, I just..."

"Want this to be about us." Emma whispered. She knew he was telling the truth, both that it didn't matter to him and that he wasn't going to try and make her talk. The later wasn't a surprise, he'd never pushed her, but even sensing the truth of the first it was hard to believe.

"Aye, love." Killian felt some of the tension drain from him as she leaned in, resting her head on his shoulder. "You know I'll listen if you want to talk, or leave if you desire. Or anything in between."

"And if I still want to pick up where we left off?"

Killian could barely hear the question, as she was mumbling into his shoulder, and let out a soft sigh as he released one of her hands to take her chin in his fingers and gently tip it up, meeting her conflicted eyes as he answered, "If that's really what you want I won't deny you a second time, I'm not sure I could, honestly." He chuckled as a small but real smile reached Emma's eyes and continued, "I want you like I haven't wanted a woman in a long time, love, but I want all of you here with me."

"I wanted you here with me, earlier I mean." Emma couldn't hold his eyes, but reached down to play with his hand again. "That's new for me... but, but I knew whatever he wanted, whatever he... I knew it would be easier if you were there. I mean, I would have been fine on my own, I always am, but..."

"But just because you can do something alone doesn't mean you need to." Killian whispered when she trailed off, dropping a kiss on her forehead. "What do you need right now, Emma?"

"Can you just hold me again?"

His heart ached at the vulnerability in her voice, all her walls were completely down and he knew just how fragile she was. He knew how much trust she was placing in him, and honestly was more than a little amazed by that, especially given the unfortunate reminder of what was clearly a past even more painful than he'd realized. He wasn't about to ruin the moment by asking questions though. "Whenever you want me to."

He expected her to curl into his arms, but she rose and pulled him once again towards her bedroom. Killian followed, sitting on the bed to take off his shoes, surprised when Emma stepped between his legs as he straightened back up and began to unbutton his shirt again.

He looked a question at her, and Emma smiled softly. "That doesn't look comfortable to sleep in."

"Actually it's quite comfortable." He toyed with the belt of her robe, eyes sliding up to hers for permission and pulling loose the knot at her nod. He knew his eyes showed desire, it was impossible to hide as he took in her naked form again, yet it wasn't lust he was thinking of, but comfort, as he leaned forward and laid a gentle kiss on her hip.

Emma backed up just enough for him to stand, smiling almost shyly as he helped her slip into the dress shirt, knowing the need for it even as part of her just wanted to curl into the heat of him.

They slipped under the covers together, neither thinking that sleep would find them anytime soon.

Killian simply held her, trying to keep his overly fertile imagination from inventing one possible scenario after another. He would never push her to talk, but he couldn't help his curiosity and laying there in the dark and silence gave his mind little to do but construct scenarios, from the simple to the ones that would be too outrageous even for fiction.

Emma curled into his chest, her ear over his heart and its steadying thump. She tried to focus on that, tried to let her mind empty, but flashes from a decade ago kept intruding. It wasn't like she'd forgotten, of course she hadn't, but it wasn't something she actively thought about either. Oh, there were moments, like when she was around baby Leo and wondered what might have been, if Neal hadn't left, or even just if she hadn't been in jail, although even then...

"I was 17." Emma whispered, unable to quiet her thoughts and needing to say something.

Killian startled for a second, it had been nearly half an hour since they had lain down and she'd been silent and almost motionless up until now. He had thought, had hoped, that she had escaped into sleep. He didn't speak, didn't interrupt, but raised his hand from her hip to stroke gently over her hair, showing that he was listening.

"I'd run away from my last group home about a year before, just another runaway living on the streets. I'd picked up a skill at hot-wiring cars, and one day I stole a yellow bug."

"The same..." Killian hadn't meant to interrupt, but he remembered his fanciful thinking when he'd first seen the car and assumed it was Granny's, and his surprise and curiosity when he'd learned it was hers but she wouldn't discuss it at all.

"Yeah." Emma breathed, her fingers starting to play over the hair on his chest. She didn't even realize she'd been doing it until he took her hand gently in his and laced their fingers together on his stomach. Her fingers continued to twitch, playing over the texture of the scars, and she felt his deep intake of breath. She knew there was still a part of him that found it impossible to believe that she didn't care about his hand, and she knew if she'd had the courage to look at him she would have seen the twinge of wonder in his eyes. Because even though he found it impossible to believe, he knew she was telling the truth.

If she looked at him though, if she moved or let herself get distracted, she'd never finish telling him, never find the courage again. He'd been so patient with her, so, in his own words, gentlemanly, and there was just something about him that drew her like she hadn't been drawn in a long time. She knew he wouldn't judge her, knew he'd been telling the truth earlier when he said her past didn't matter to him. And she was convinced enough he would feel the same way after hearing the whole story that it was worth the risk. Something about him was just worth the risk. If she could keep the panic contained long enough to finish telling him.

"I stole a yellow bug." Emma repeated, taking a deep breath before adding, "And Neal was asleep in the back seat."

She took him through the story, how they'd fallen in love, all the way up through their plans to move to Tallahassee. He never interrupted, though she knew he must have questions, he only continued to stroke her hair softly. It was easier to tell him, just a little bit easier than when she'd told Graham and David, as she'd had to explain the charges to get the job. Just a bit easier than when she'd told Granny, Ruby, and Mary Margaret, after nearly breaking down the first time she held Leo.

She wasn't sure if it was the fact that it was the third time she was telling it, or the fact that she was safe in his arms, but it was just a little bit easier this time, to tell it without letting herself get lost in it.

She explained the plan with the watches, which Killian hadn't understood at all when Neal had brought it up. She told how she'd been arrested, never knowing why Neal had left her, half expecting that first month for him to show up and break her out. Then she'd found out she was pregnant.

Emma didn't even notice the tears that were slipping down her face when she got to her son's birth, didn't notice until she felt gentle fingers wiping them away even as she trailed off in embarrassment. She sniffed, but couldn't stop the tears.

"It's alright, love." He slid his hand back down to her hip, pulling her closer. Her top leg curled over his as he continued stroking her hair. He felt her trying to stop the tears and whispered, "Just cry, Emma. I've got you."

She'd told only the bare bones to Graham and David, and while her girlfriends had gotten more, she still hadn't told the story in this much detail. She didn't know why she was telling it now, why the words had just flowed out of her, her feelings and not just the facts or a few obvious emotions. She didn't know why the embarrassment shifted to gratitude as she cried in his arms, didn't know why a man she'd only known for two weeks was bringing down her walls without breaking them, didn't know why she was letting him.

"You're so strong, to have gone through all that on your own. To have become the amazing woman you are."

Okay, she kind of did know why. She could hear the admiration in his voice, could hear the truth of his words, and it was that more than anything that helped her pull herself together. She'd come this far, she was going to finish.

Killian listened as Emma continued in a slightly stronger voice, telling him of meeting a bail bondsperson one night and how she'd gotten started on that path.

It was cathartic, telling him everything, just letting the words whisper into the dark as she sank into the heat and strength of him surrounding her. She explained what Neal had meant about his father earlier, how he was a mob boss and she really did believe he'd have had her killed if Neal hadn't done as he said.

"I would have found a way." Killian hadn't even realized the words were there until they were spoken.

"I don't think you...-

"I understand, Emma, or well enough anyway. I know all too well what men like that are capable of, but there's always a way." His thoughts flashed to Milah, to the promise he'd made her when he had her name inked into his arm. No matter how long it took, he'd find a way to prove the boat exploding hadn't been an accident, but sabotage. He'd find a way to avenge her on the cowardly man who had decided that if he couldn't have her, no one could. He'd promised revenge, no matter what, both for Milah and all the other lives he'd come to suspect the man had taken. "A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets."

"You sound like you speak from experience."

Killian cursed inwardly, he hadn't meant to speak, hadn't meant to interrupt her, but the thought of not fighting with everything in him for the woman he loved was such a foreign concept he kept getting stuck on it. Not that he loved her, no, he'd only known her for two weeks, but that bloody bastard had claimed to love her, and to... No. She didn't need his anger right now, and she didn't need his story.

Tonight wasn't about him, although he accepted that it was only a matter of time before he'd tell her. It wasn't that he felt he needed to trade a confession for a confession, he of all people knew it didn't work that way, even though it did seem to make her more comfortable with her own vulnerability. No, he needed to tell her because it was the only way she'd understand why he was going to leave. But he had weeks yet before that became an issue.

Tonight was about her, and so he dropped a kiss on her forehead and only answered softly, "I do, love, and I'll tell you about it soon."

She tilted her head up, lifting it just enough to see his eyes, and whatever she saw in them had her kissing him softly on the lips. "How can you still look at me like that?"

"Because you're still the same woman I had pinned against the wall a few hours ago." He tried to lighten the heavy mood that had settled on them, but felt her start to draw away at the jest. He tightened his arms, his voice rising, "Emma, listen to me, please. That was a failed attempt to make you smile, but still the truth. I meant it when I said nothing in your past would change how I see you, how I... how I want you. You know for some reason I can, well, I can read you, and love, I knew you hadn't had an easy life."

"Like recognizes like."

Emma said it softly, not asking, and he only nodded and continued, his voice deeper and intimate again. "Thank you for talking to me tonight, Emma, thank you for trusting me. Believe that nothing I learn about you will change things. Believe it the way you want to me to believe you don't care about my hand."

"And do you believe that?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Almost." Killian breathed into her hair before raising his voice slightly, "And I should rephrase my earlier statement, as it does change how I see you. I knew you were strong, Emma, and I knew you'd overcome a lot, been hurt by love, but I didn't realize just how badly. You're even stronger than I thought, even more amazing. I know you don't want pity, but being sorry for what you went though doesn't make me think less of you, but more. Try to believe that as well."

"Hmmm." It was half agreement, half a sleepy murmur, the sudden purge of emotions and tears leaving Emma exhausted. He'd given her exactly what she needed tonight, even though she herself hadn't known what that was. His lilting words wrapped around her like a blanket, and a single word escaped without thought. "Stay."

He tensed, and an instant later she did as well, realizing that she didn't know how he would take that. She wasn't even sure what she meant by it, was too afraid to examine it, even safe in his arms.

"Sleep, lass." His words were tender when they came after what seemed an eternity but was only a handful of seconds, and she relaxed again as he whispered, "I'll still be here when you wake."

Emma cuddled back into him. It was the easy interpretation, the easy answer, and at that moment it was exactly what she needed. "Killian?"

"Hmmm." It was more a rumble in his chest than voiced, and his hands began to rub softly over her back.

"You're pretty amazing yourself."

He dropped another kiss on her forehead even as he felt her body relax into sleep. It wasn't long before he joined her.

TBC...


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. All opening chapter quotes are from "Till I Found You" by Freestyle. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Unlike A&E, I'm not going to make you wait forever. We'll get back into more of the plot after this. The M rating is definitly in effect for this chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoO_

 _"_ _And I never had somebody I would think about._

 _I Never had someone I cou_ _ld_ _n't do without_

 _'Til I found you babe -_

 _'Til I found you._ _"_

 _OoOoOoO_

Chapter 11:

Emma woke from a surprisingly deep and peaceful slumber to the sound of her text alert buzzing. Mind still fuzzy, she automatically started to reach out for it, confused for a moment as to why her arm wouldn't move. She started to stretch even as she took a deep breath, trying to wake up, and his scent hit her even as she realized the heat around her was from more than just her blankets.

Killian shifted against her back as she worked her arm out from under where his rested heavily around her waist, unable to do anything but smile when he shifted slightly closer to her and murmured in a sleep roughened voice, "Everything alright, Swan?"

"Just a text from Ruby." She mumbled, having succeeded at retrieving her phone and groaning as she squinted at the glare of the screen. "Apparently the gossip mill hasn't gotten going yet, she just wants to know how the date went." Actually, Ruby's text was an order for details and multiple winking emojis, but he didn't need to know that.

"It was perfect until it was interrupted." His breath was soft and warm against the back of her neck, and she shivered slightly in his arms.

"Killian." She breathed his name as he began trailing soft kisses up the back of her neck, and she dropped her phone back on the nightstand so that she could reach back, gripping his ass to pull his hips forward even as she tilted her own back. He was rock hard against her, and moaned at the contact. "Do you always wake up like this?"

He chuckled at the teasing tone in her voice even as he slid his hand down her bare thigh, "At least when I dream of you."

Emma sighed as his hand coasted up and down her leg, slightly higher up her hip each time, inching her -his- shirt up incrementally as well. It was almost more soothing than arousing, and might in fact have helped her drift back to sleep if it wasn't for his hardness against her ass and the lips that had switched from kissing the side of her neck to nibbling at it.

"We were having a picnic in the woods." Killian husked the words in her ear as he slipped his hand under her shirt, skimming light fingertips over her stomach. "You were wearing this flirty blue sundress, the kind that make men love summer so, and were as bare beneath it as you were last night."

"You liked that, huh?" Emma's voice was breathy as his fingers trailed teasingly over her ribs, just heavily enough to not tickle, and she let out a soft sigh when he stopped beneath her breasts and started to trail back down.

"A gentleman is still a man, love." He circled her belly button, wanting to caress every inch of her but waiting for some kind of signal from her. "If I'd known I'm not sure we'd have left the house."

"I thought about telling you right after they brought the meal just to see what you'd do." Emma confessed with a giggle, reaching down to catch his hand and pull it back up her torso until he cupped one of her breasts.

Heat flashed through him at the thought as well as the action, and he nipped playfully at her ear before growling, "We'd have been taking our meal to go or finding a broom closet, lady's choice."

"We'd have been taking the meal to go, cause I think you're right about the bed." Her hand was still on his ass, only his boxers keeping their skin from touching. It was an odd angle but she loved how his body was cradling her. "Tell me more about the picnic."

"Well, on the picnic all we had was a blanket, but as it was a dream the ground was like a cloud anyway." Killian played with the fullness of her breasts even as he whispered in her ear, dropping kisses on her neck between words. "We were talking, and laughing, and then in the way of dreams we were kissing."

"And how did you find out I was bare?" She turned her head enough to catch his lips with her own, deepening the kiss with a shudder as he began to lightly rub at her nipples, and her body arched into his hand unconsciously.

"I'd much rather show you that than tell you, love." He husked when they finally broke the kiss.

His hand on her was slow and easy, and she knew he was once again giving her control. He hadn't actually asked her if she was alright, and she was grateful for that, but she knew what he wanted. He wanted this to be about them and nothing else, and she knew she could give him that. He really was the only thing she was thinking about.

Emma shifted in his arms just enough to turn over to face him, her breath stuttering at the tightly leashed desire she saw in eyes that had gone a midnight blue. "It's just us, Killian. Just you and me. Show me."

Killian didn't answer with words but rolled unto his back, taking her with him, his hands cupping her ass and urging her to straddle him. She moved easily, settling over him as their lips met once again, the kiss flashing to passionate in a heartbeat. Then he was shifting, and once again she moved with him as he pressed up with his hips, making her gasp and break the kiss even as she rocked against him. He chased after her lips, easily shifting them again until he was sitting up with her in his lap, his hands leaving trails of fire as they traveled over her.

As much as he loved how she looked in his shirt he wanted it gone, but when he found himself gripping the hem to rip as her lips trailed over his neck he forced himself to take a deep breath, needing to ask, especially after what he'd learned about her past. "Before we completely lose our heads, do you have condoms? I made sure to put one in my wallet if..."

"In the drawer on my side." She breathed in his ear even as she kissed down his neck, her fingers playing over his chest and making him groan deeply. "We're wearing too many clothes."

"They tend to just fade away in dreams." He whispered back, even as his mind went back to the one she'd woken him from. "But at this point we were still clothed, and all I wanted was to feel your skin heat under my fingers." He dropped his hands to her knees, sliding them slowly up towards her hips, thumbs tilted slightly so that his nails caressed up her sensitive inner thighs before they continued up to her waist. "And then I discovered just how much skin there was."

His shirt, which was only slightly shorter than the sundress his imagination had put her in, draped over his wrists as he caressed her waist, urging her to rock down onto him again. "That's when I woke, love, so tell me what happens next."

"No, you tell me." Emma breathed back, pulling back enough to catch his eyes, wanting to see the moment when his control snapped. "I want the man who wanted me so much our first kiss ended against a wall and almost didn't end at all. What do you want?"

"You, since the moment I saw you." He groaned the words into her neck as her nails trailed down his back, and when she rocked down unto him again he felt a burst of lust shoot through him. He slid his hands up her sides, slowing raising the shirt as she helpfully lifted her arms over her head. Her head was clear but her arms still caught in the sleeves when his mouth closed over her breast.

Killian lost himself in her as he'd dreamed of doing. She was all warm skin and soft curves, and each gasp or moan as he found a new spot that pleased her only drove him to find more, to take her higher.

He discovered the sensitive spot low on her ribs; his fingers brushing it made her shiver, but his lips there made her moan, and he couldn't decide which he liked more. And then there was the way she gasped when his fingers were on her nipples, but her breathing stuttered if he took one into his mouth.

He'd had to raise her up to explore her body, which meant her weight was no longer heavy in his lap though she still straddled his hips, and he could feel her heat and desire against his stomach. When his fingers found that heat her whimper shot right to the top of the list of his favorite sounds, and straight to his straining cock as well.

"Killian." Emma breathed his name as her legs shook just from his fingers gliding over her, remembering their shower and how talented those fingers had proven to be. After the ways they'd continued to be interrupted, she'd expected this first time to be passionate but fast. Yet his pace was slow, laced with a tenderness and attentiveness that it had been all too long since she'd enjoyed from a lover. One night stands didn't tend to be about anything but fun and release.

"Emma." He whispered back, his fingers sliding into her even as he moved them into a deep kiss, swallowing her moan of pleasure.

She felt his one arm tighten around her waist, helping to hold her up as her legs continued to shake. Her world emptied until there was nothing but him, nothing but his fingers inside her and the heat of his mouth on hers. The strength of him surrounding her, and the inferno he was building in her veins as their chests rubbed together.

Time lost all meaning as he finally twisted them, laying her back on the bed with a gentleness that matched the look in his eyes. And then he was pulling back, just long enough to shed his boxers, the last article of clothing between them.

Emma's breath hitched at the sight of him kneeling on the bed by her side, the light from the streetlamps outside just enough to show a shadowed outline that made her reach for him before she could even process that she'd moved. He arched into her touch with a groan as her fingers closed around him.

"You should grab the condoms, and..." Emma lost her train of thought when his fingers found her again, his mouth finding her breast at the same time. She arched up into his touch, all her nerves alight, fire flashing through her as she spread her legs apart, breathing fast as she anticipated his solid weight on top of her.

Killian's lips traveled down her stomach, kissing and nibbling and learning yet more of her secrets. His fingers increased their pace as he shifted on the bed to get the angle he wanted, his lips never leaving her skin, pinpricks of heat shooting through him everytime the hand fisted in his hair pulled just a bit too hard.

His lips had barely replaced his thumb on her center when she exploded.

Emma cried out his name as the wildfire flashed through her, her body pulsing around his fingers, not even conscious of the fact that her nails were tight enough in his shoulders to almost draw blood. She was still tingling, still trying to catch her breath, as she felt him kissing his way back up her body.

"I've never seen a more lovely sight." Killian husked in her ear, gentling his touch with effort as he skimmed his hand back up her flushed body. His own body was screaming at him, needing more of her, all of her, but he only pressed himself against her hip and nibbled lightly at her neck. "Still with me, love?"

There might have been a slightly smug note in his voice, but Emma could hardly fault him for it, after all she'd yet to manage to speak or move. Well, other than when she'd screamed his name in a way that made her really hope her neighbors were still out, and the way she couldn't quite stop the shivers of bliss going through her.

Her body still felt like it was floating, and she couldn't remember the last time she'd been this relaxed, this completely comfortable with someone. "I think you're the one trying to kill me."

He chuckled at the hoarsely mumbled words, remembering jokingly accusing her of the same a few days ago over a particularly spectacular outfit. "Oh, I think you can handle more." He started to move down her body again, wanting more than the brief taste he'd had, but she was finally moving again, and her first move was to grip his arms and pull him upwards.

Their lips met in a hungry kiss, hands once again gliding wherever they could reach in a bid for more touch, more heat.

He found himself letting out a grunt of surprise that turned to a moan when she twisted into him, pushing him to his back until she was once again settled in his lap, this time with no clothing between them.

"You can show me more later." Emma breathed, loving that she could say that. He started to shift to sit up and she leaned forward, drawing twin moans from them as he slid against her heat. She kissed him again before sitting up, running her fingers over his chest even as she now deliberately pulsed her hips over his. "But we keep getting interrupted."

He chuckled even as his hands slid up to her hips, not trying to direct her but just wanting to feel her move. He wanted to see her as well, and cursed the dark curtains that made it seem like night rather than hours after sunrise. "No more interruptions, just you and me." He breathed as his hands slid up to cup her breasts and her rhythm faltered on a moan. "Love, I want to see you."

She nodded, realized he couldn't see it, and started chuckling even as she leaned forward to flick on her bedside lamp, pulling a condom from the drawer while she was there.

Killian's lips closed over her breast as she shifted above him, and his fingers found her heat again a second later even as his other hand closed over the back of her neck to keep her in place. Her breathing hitched immediately as she trembled, and Killian suddenly froze, his head dropping back to the pillows as he took a shuddering breath.

His right hand tightened unconsciously against her neck, the scarred fingers of his left hand sliding from her core as he realized it was the first time his ruined hand had touched her that way. It was one thing for her to say it didn't matter, even to mean it, but the reality had to be jarring.

Lost in bliss, Emma didn't even feel him tense beneath her, she only moaned when he stopped touching her. "God, that felt amazing, why did you..." She shifted back to see his face, suddenly trailing off as she read the look in his eyes. She didn't say anything for a second, didn't know what to say, then realized she didn't need words.

Emma shifted until she straddled his thighs, her hands sliding slowly down his chest as she followed the trail of course hair until her fingers could run over him, teasing the thick shaft for a long moment before dealing with the condom. She let him see the desire in her eyes as she reached out with both hands.

Any hint of shame melted away as he let their fingers link together, abs bunching as he sat up at her slight tug, knees bending just slightly until her heat was settled over him. "Emma..."

"Just you and me." She whispered as she angled her hips, "Exactly as we are."

"How are you real?" He didn't even realize he was echoing words she'd said to him the night before until she chuckled, leaning in to kiss him softly as her arms wrapped around his neck.

"I wouldn't care if you'd lost a hand, or, hell, lost both of them." Her voice was firm, but barely a whisper. "I already know how talented your mouth is."

Killian choked out a laugh even as he slid both of his hands, which he was very grateful he did have at the moment, to her hips, twisting his own up until all she had to do was sink back down onto him. The easy humor that had always been between them leveled him out, "Love, you haven't seen the half of it."

"I'll make you prove that later, but for now..." And with no more warning than that Emma slowly sank down until they were fully joined.

She moved slowly at first and he made no move to rush her, holding her eyes as his hands caressed over her lightly, watching her eyes heat equally when smooth and then rough fingers found her breasts. The hand clamped down on his shoulder, and the nails digging into his shoulder blade, barely registered. When her other hand fisted in his hair and pulled him into a hot, passionate kiss he slid nails up her back as his fingers searched out a hold on her curly hair.

His hips snapped up, he couldn't help it, then froze when Emma gasped. "Love..."

"It's just been a while." She breathed even as she began circling her hips. "And you're, well..."

Killian chuckled as he deliberately brought his left hand down to where they were joined, caressing over her. When she gasped and tightened around him he slid them back into a kiss.

He moved with her as she slowly picked up the pace, feeling like it was the thousandth time they had done this rather than the first. Nothing existed except the amazing woman who moved over him, around him, through him.

Their control snapped at roughly the same time, and when they fell off the edge of the world they did it gasping each others names.

TBC...


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: And back into the plot we go. Sorry updates are slow, real life is just busy now, but I promise I'm still plodding away. Some cute CS, follow by a bit more of friendships and moving things along. Sorry not much happens, but we're getting there.

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

Chapter 12:

"Mmhhhh... what time is it?" Emma mumbled into his chest as she woke from one of the brief cat naps they'd allowed each other between rounds. She honestly couldn't remember how many times they'd come together, and the thought drifted through her blissed out mind that her friends might just be impressed enough by that to not tease her about losing count.

Killian chuckled as he brushed his fingers through her long hair, trying gently to work out some of the tangles even as he looked over at her bedside clock. "It's nearly noon, love, and we've ignored our phones for hours. Someone's likely to send a search party soon."

"They'll get the picture at the front door."

Killian traced her jawline with feather-light fingers before sliding his fingers under her chin, tipping her face up so he could meet her eyes. "Front door?"

Emma's eyes sparkled mischievously as she met his eyes, leaning up to kiss him softly. "When I got up a few hours ago to grab water, I hung your scarf on the outside of the door."

Killian chuckled, sliding his fingers through her hair again unconsciously, gently loosening the knots. "In the dorms we always used our neckties."

"Dorms?" Emma made it a question. He'd told her he was in the system for a few years, whatever England's version of that was, but orphans hardly wore ties.

Killian took a deep breath. "I've told you that Liam got me out of the system once he aged out."

Emma sighed as she twisted, crossing her hands over his chest and resting her chin there, watching his eyes darken in sadness as they always did when he mentioned his brother. She nodded even as she shifted her hips, trying to get comfortable, and this time the sound that came from her was more gasp than sigh.

Concern lit his eyes at once. "You alright, love?"

Emma nodded, sighing when his hand came down to rub her lower back. "It's what we call an awesome kind of sore."

He chuckled as she intended, but the concern didn't leave his eyes. "Would a hot shower help? I never actually got to wash your back."

"That sounds amazing." Emma smiled, dropping a kiss on his chest before resting her chin on her crossed hands again. "But I'll listen first, if you want."

His fingers trailed over her bare back, more massaging than anything else, although he doubted either of them had another round in them anyway. Well, not for an hour or two at least. He met her eyes and began speaking softly.

"I was 15 when Liam aged out, and well, I don't know how it is here but it's not the easiest thing to get custody of a younger sibling in England. Especially when you're barely considered a man yourself. He didn't want me in the system but had no way to raise me. In the end, I was sent to a boarding school, which actually wasn't horrible. That's where we hung our neckties on the doors if we happened to be with a lass."

Emma smiled at his phrasing. "I thought boarding schools were expensive." She'd certainly never gone to any school that wasn't public, wasn't free.

"Liam joined the Navy, and it was understood I would as well. They paid for both our schooling." Killian explained.

Emma nodded in understanding. "I had a brief thought to joining the military once, cause yeah, they'll do that here too. But then I went to jail, and, well, that makes it harder. Plus I'm really not all that good at following orders."

Killian chuckled huskily, trying to lighten the mood. "You followed a few of mine admirably."

Emma blushed even as she shifted, sliding her hands over his chest. She was still amazed that he didn't think less of her after what he'd learned the night before. "You followed mine as well."

"I'd say we both proved we could handle it." Killian let out a roar of laughter as, nearly simultaneously, both of their stomach's gave loud growls. "And I think the next order should be for pizza."

Emma groaned at his deliberate word choice, wrapping her arms around his upper back to grip his shoulders from behind. Once of his still played through her hair, and the other rubbed her back softly. "We really should go out to Granny's. Graham would have told David and Philip by now, because they need to know to watch out for Neal as well, and word always spreads. They'd tell Granny, so that she wouldn't worry about another break in, and David would make sure Mary Margaret knew, since he'd been in our building, and..."

Killian sighed, hating that they had to leave the bubble of her bedroom but knowing that she was right. "We really should shower first though."

Emma sighed, shifting to kiss him softly. "But that means we have to move. I could just text everyone and tell them I need a day. And then we could order pizza."

"They're your friends, Emma, don't leave them to worry." Killian's words were soft, but sincere. "Although I will need to know who knows what."

Emma groaned as she forced herself to sit up. "Ruby, Granny, Mary Margaret, David, and Graham are the only people that know about Neal, or jail, or that I had a baby. Most people know I was an orphan, it's not really a secret, it's just not something I talk about either. Although I suppose everyone is going to find out about Neal now."

"Surely if they know you don't want people to..."

"No, it's different since he came here, and Graham and David know me well enough to know I'd want people to know. Just that he was an ex, that's all they'd say, but they know I'd rather have people know in case he comes back. Or in case anyone else suspicious comes to town. I just hate that I'm going to have to talk about it. I want to stay here."

Killian sat up as well, taking her loosely into his arms. "As do I, love, but from what I've seen of your friends they won't push. They'll just want to make sure you're okay."

"I really am." Emma whispered, melting into his arms for a long moment, whispering barely loudly enough for him to hear, "I really did forget about everything but you."

"As did I, love. As did I." He kissed her sweetly before getting out of bed, grinning at her little squeak as he swept her up into his arms and carried her towards the shower.

OoOoOoOoO

"I was about to send out the search dogs."

The first words out of Ruby's mouth when they walked into the diner nearly an hour later -they might have gotten distracted in the shower- caused Emma to blush lightly and Killian to grin in amusement as she echoed his words upon awakening.

He tipped his head to Ruby even as he said softly, "I believe you know exactly where we were, lass."

Ruby grinned wolfishly at him even as Emma's eyes begged her to drop it. Although she did keep her voice quiet. "I assumed, and also Mary Margaret texted me a picture of a scarf on a doorknob. I need details."

Killian winced even as Emma hissed at her friend to drop it. He wasn't an idiot, he knew women talked about men with each other, just as men did about women, but he'd never been one for sharing details. Generalities sure, but not details. It had always just seemed rude somehow.

"Oh, come on Blondie." Ruby slung an arm over Emma's shoulder, pulling her towards the back of the diner, raising her voice to be heard by at least the nearest booths. "Time for some girl talk. Well, girl and boy talk."

Unsure what else to do, Killian trailed slightly awkwardly behind them, rocking back and forth on his feet hesitantly when Ruby settled Emma and herself into a booth far from any other customers, sitting across from Emma. He paused, although he barely knew her Ruby seemed slightly off and he suspected this might not be what it seemed, but if the ladies were actually going to have this talk at the moment there was no way he was sitting down. He'd just go get some food and sit at the counter. He really did like sitting there, it meant he got to talk to all different people.

"Emma, it hasn't spread too far yet, but some people already know. Gods, I can't believe the nerve of that piece of..."

Killian immediately plopped into the booth at Emma's side when his guess was proven correct, listening as Ruby went into an impressive rant. While he didn't doubt from what little he knew of her that she did really want details, her concern for her friend was stronger at the moment.

"Red, I'm okay." Well practiced in Ruby's tirades, Emma found the exact moment she took a breath to cut her off. "I'm assuming they're only saying to be on the eye out for him or anything suspicious?"

Ruby confirmed that, and that it was known he was Emma's ex. They chatted a bit more on it before Ruby brought up her second concern. "Oh, and Emma, it's probably nothing, but Granny's got another customer. A man who checked in late last night, he's got a four or five year old boy with him though, so she's not too worried he's not who he says he is."

"I'll go check him out, Killian's gotta get back out there anyway, but first, Ruby, we are starv..." Emma trailed off as two breakfast specials were set in front of them by a grinning Anna.

"I thought you might be." Ruby winked at her as she rose. "The details can wait, I'll make sure people leave you alone. Although Mary Margaret really wants to talk to you."

"I'll talk to everyone, Ruby, I just... I just need a a day or two. Cause I can't believe he showed up either, and..."

"And he has no reason to come back, love." Killian said softly. He really wanted to just dig into his breakfast, they hadn't eaten in around sixteen hours and he was starving, but the fragility so rarely heard in her voice made him need to comfort her. "This should be the end of it, everyone understands bad breakups. No one needs all the details."

Ruby grinned as he stressed the last words while looking directly at him but only chuckled. "Yes, I do."

"Just let us know if there's anything we can do, Emma." Anna said softly. "Cause yeah, we all understand bad breakups. You remember my last disaster, right?"

"He tried to take over her sister's business. Very hostilely." Emma explained to Killian. "And thanks, Anna. I get it. I really do just need a little time to digest."

"I get that, just remember we're here." Anna smiled before heading back off to her job.

"She really is a sweetheart, isn't she?" Killian observed softly as Ruby headed off as well, echoing that she'd do whatever she could to help.

"I don't think Ruby's ever been described that way." Emma managed with a straight face as they finally started digging into their breakfasts.

Killian chuckled, elbow bumping hers lightly. "You know my meaning, lass."

"I do." Emma grinned back, leaning in for a quick kiss, still trying to adjust to the fact that she could just do that. "It's a toss up if Anna or Mary Margaret is more of a sweetheart, but yeah, they're the only two real contenders for the title. And it's not like they haven't been through shit themselves, but somehow they stayed sweet while the rest of us got a bit..."

"Tart." He popped the word out before biting into a piece of homemade bread he'd smothered in Granny's jam. "You'll recall I said I like that, and you can certainly be sweet as well, love."

"Take that back!" Emma teased, pretending to be offended.

He chuckled, dropping a kiss on her temple. "You know it's meant as a compliment, love."

"So you'd be okay with me calling you sweet?"

Killian grinned. "As long as you call me other things as well. Having a sweet side doesn't make you less of a man, love, it makes you a better one."

Emma blinked at him, momentarily floored by the statement. "How are you even real?" It actually wasn't her first thought, that was 'why aren't you staying?' but the first had become a joke between them, the second was far too vulnerable even given what they'd shared over the past weeks. Even given how they somehow connected, how they somehow just understood each other.

Because he wasn't staying, and the one thing she could never do was ask someone to stay. If they didn't want her enough to stay on their own... she forced the thoughts away, taking a deep drink from her hot cocoa as an excuse to break eye contact.

This was a fling, a fun distraction, and she just needed to enjoy the time she had with him. Surely if the past week was any indication they wouldn't tire of each other before he left. In some ways it was easier, knowing he was leaving meant she didn't have to worry about when she would be abandoned, when he would disappoint her. She'd just have a good, happy relationship to remember, to maybe replace some of her nightmares with happy thoughts. Killian definitely inspired happy thoughts.

She was pulled out of those thoughts by his chuckle, and Emma briefly wondered how long she'd been sitting there with her thoughts running in circles.

"Maybe none of this is real, love, maybe we're both just having a fantastic dream."

"I hope not." She grinned back at him, and the talk turned to easier things.

They chatted of everything and nothing as they ate, paid, and got into his car for the short drive back out to Granny's bed and breakfast. They ended up discussing options for dates in the small town, especially for the next few days, as Emma would still have off from the office except in emergencies.

He really did have to spend the afternoon working on his screenplay, he needed to get off this first draft to his agent by tomorrow night, but after that he had a few days free, he always needed to step away for a few days and stop thinking about it before going back to edit. Plus by then the publisher usually had ideas as well.

They ended up planning to see the newest superhero movie one night and going back to the Lily Pad the other. He really did love dancing with her.

"I'm going to run up and change love, be right down."

Emma startled at his sudden words when they were only a few steps into Granny's living room, understanding them when he vanished up the stairs just as Granny came out of the kitchen. He'd clearly known the older woman would be waiting for her, she would have as well if she'd been thinking about it.

Granny gave her a brisk once over, her face apparently stern, but Emma knew the older woman too well. "I can smell the brownies, which means you're worried, not mad. Mad is bread so you can pound the dough."

The sternness melted away and Granny came forward, chuckling, to grip her by the elbows. "You're okay?"

Emma knew it was multiple questions in one, and smiled. "I will be, I just need time to process." Her gaze drifted towards the stairs, where Killian had vanished, and she added softly, "And yes, I'm not just okay, I'm happy."

Granny studied her face for a moment. Emma wasn't sure what she was looking for, but she apparently found it, for she dropped her hands and gave a brisk nod. "I barely know him yet, but I like him, and he's clearly crazy about you." She said flatly, moving on before Emma could even think to comment. "Did Ruby tell you about my new guests? I hate to be suspicious, and having the child with him makes me want to trust even more, but he's being very vague on why he's here."

"Is he around now? I'll chat with him and see what I think, and if you give me his info we can always run a background, better safe than sorry."

"Oh, I hate to have to do that."

"You didn't have a problem googling Killian before he came here." Emma shot back with a smirk that softened at the honest concern in Granny's eyes. She knew that was different to Granny, because it had been Emma alone with him, not her. "I'll just chat with him first, see what I think, and..."

Emma trailed off as she heard Killian's laughter echoing down the stairs, followed by a child's giggle and another masculine laugh. Her eyes shot to the stairs as she heard the sound of people coming down, her head tilting in confusion when Killian came down with a young boy in his arms, another man trailing him, both of them still laughing.

"No worries here, love." Killian said at once upon seeing her expression. "This is my agent, Robin, and his lad. Although I had no idea they were coming."

"Roland wanted to surprise you." Robin told Killian even as Emma smiled at the clear and easy affection between the two, as well as the boy who still clung to Killian's neck. She could swear she heard him mumbling "Uncle Killy," and couldn't help it when her grin widened. "I've been in NYC for the past week doing meetings and I figured we'd stop for a few days on our way back to London and check in with you. And this must be the lovely lass that has you so captivated."

Emma blushed, looking away from the clearly teasing man. Killian cleared his throat and scratched absently at his ear as Granny chuckled loudly even as her oven beeped and she exited the room. Emma knew she'd be straining her ears for every word as she checked the brownies.

Unaware of the awkward moment, Roland squirmed suddenly and asked to be put down. Emma realized why when the boy made a beeline for Granny's candy jar, clearly already having learned there was always chocolate in it. Her heart clenched as she watched him giggle over the silly animals on the jar before lifting the lid, only to stop instantly when his father cleared his throat.

He turned at once. "Please, papa, I can has one?"

"Can I have one." Robin corrected automatically, and Emma grinned as the boy repeated his words, his eyes shining when his father nodded. She looked away rapidly, trying to lock everything back down again. It was harder than it'd been since Neal's appearance had caused it all to surge back up. She startled when Robin spoke softly, clearly taking to her. "I didn't mean to embarrass you, lass, my apologies. I'm Robin Hood."

His outstretched hand came into view, and Emma's eyes jerked up, more at the name than the fact that he'd moved to stand in front of her. "Seriously?" She couldn't stop the first words out of her mouth, and cringed at herself, but he thankfully looked amused rather than offended.

"I'm afraid so." He grinned, clearly used to her reaction. "My parents had an odd sense of humor, which while I cursed them for in my youth, I actually no longer mind. It certainly makes it a rare person who forgets my name."

Emma couldn't help but grin at his easy nature. He wasn't breathtakingly handsome like Killian, at least not to her, but there was something about his easy going nature and even easier humor that made him more attractive. She shook his hand belatedly. "Emma Swan, and I believe that."

"I've been trying to get in touch with this one for the past few days, but it seems he's been a mite distracted."

He said it with good humor; Killian still smacked him in the arm for his trouble. "You know I hate being bugged the few days before a deadline. Have I ever missed one?"

"No, and I wanted to make sure you didn't." Robin quipped back, and Emma once again marveled at the clear and easy banter between them. "I promised Roland I'd get him ice cream if he was good and played by himself all morning while I was on conference calls, so we're off to do that. You should join us. I'm assuming you're done, or almost anyway, with the draft I mean."

Killian weighed his choices. He was almost done, although not quite as far along as he wanted to be, he could easily take another hour to have ice cream before diving in. He didn't have to email the draft in until midnight tomorrow, although he hated leaving things til the last minute. He tried to always be a few days ahead, normally he'd be done already and Robin knew that, clearly timing his visit to what he thought would be free time. But the time spent with Emma had left him a bit behind, not that he regretted one second of it. He was on the verge of saying yes when he saw Emma's face. He read it at once, though he knew Robin would see only a polite smile, and replied, "Actually, I'm a bit behind, and I've asked for Emma's help with some local color. But I should finish tonight, how long are you here?"

"We don't fly out til late tomorrow." Robin replied, "So we need to leave late afternoon to get to Portland."

"Fantastic. While I could wait until tomorrow to write if you were going to be out early, this works better for us all I think. We'll make plans tonight then, I've a few ideas the lad might enjoy."

"Ice cream."

The men chuckled as, finished being distracted by the candy, Roland tugged on his father's arm. "Yeah, we'll chat later. I'm sure I'll be seeing you around, Emma, nice to meet you."

"You too." Emma's smile was real, but Killian could see the shadows in her eyes. She took a deep breath as the two said their goodbyes to Killian, which included another big hug on Roland's part, and headed out to get their treat.

"Thank you." She whispered it the moment the door closed, sagging onto the sofa with relief, taking his hand when he joined her. "I've hung out with kids before, it's... after last night I just got blindsided. He's half the age that... And uh, I don't know, I just..."

"You don't have to explain, Emma." He said quietly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I really could use your help with something, if you don't mind. I wasn't lying that I'm a bit behind and need to buckle down."

"Uh, sure." Her thoughts were still sort of scattered. She'd seen Robin's smile and twinkling eyes in Roland, and was trying to force her thoughts away from wondering what he'd gotten from his mother and where she was. Wondering what her son had gotten from her. From Neal. But she'd never know, and thinking about it would get her nowhere. Emma focused in. "Sure, I'd love to help. Do I have to sign something saying I won't post spoilers online?"

He chuckled, not knowing if she actually had any interest in writing but knowing she would appreciate any distraction at this point. "I think I can trust you."

She heard the double meaning in his soft voice, and laced her fingers through his scarred ones in silent reply. "What do you need help with?"

"Just some of the ways a small town like this works." He began to explain as he led her up the stairs.

TBC...


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Hope everyone is still enjoying! It's time to get a bit more backstory on Killian, and let our heroes reflect on what they want from life. And because I'm the the mood, I'll totally answer a few reviewer questions. (Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, I love you all!) I'm not sure how many chapters this will be in all honesty, but I'm projecting about 20. Yes, Neal will be back, and we'll be meeting his daddy as well. I will be changing some "family tree" facts to make the relationships work in the real world, hopefully no one will be too upset by this. And I love that everyone assumes Killian will decide to stay, just remember though, he needs something to remind him that it's worth it... :)

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

Chapter 13:

Emma puttered around her apartment the next day doing random chores, deep in thought. She hoped Robin hadn't been offended by her not joining them today; she probably would have been able to if it hadn't been for Neal and his damn questions, but she was just too raw at the moment. And she'd learned through hard experience the difference between being strong and being stupid.

Emma had dreamed of a boy last night, not the one she'd given up, but one with Killian's smirk and mischevious sapphire eyes.

The dream had thrown her enough that despite the plans they'd made the night before, she begged off of going to breakfast and then horseback riding with Killian, Robin, and Roland, simply saying she didn't feel up to it.

Killian assumed she just couldn't deal with being around Roland at this point, and she didn't disagree with him when he voiced the assumption. That was even enough a part of it that she didn't really feel like she was lying to him. He hadn't been upset, but quietly understanding.

It worked out well that they'd planned the movie for tonight and the dancing tomorrow, Killian had joked with her before he left, as it had been a while since he'd ridden and he doubted he'd he up for dancing after that. She'd arched her eyebrow and asked if he'd be up for a different kind of dancing after the movie.

She'd been pinned against his bedroom wall a moment later, his eyes heating as he kissed her deeply, nipping at her ear and murmuring that he'd always be up for that. Her leg had wrapped around him without thought, rubbing their cores together, and he'd ended up a little late for breakfast. Neither of them had any regrets.

Emma's eyes fluttered shut as she absently stirred the red sauce she had simmering, remembering how dark and stormy his eyes had been as he'd taken her against the wall. She tried to hold on to the image, feeling the heat flood her body from just the thought. She tried to hold on to it, but the dream overtook the memory, as had happened so many times today.

It was the dream of the child, a boy about Roland's age, but one who looked at her with Killian's shifting blue eyes. One who had Killian's perpetually messy hair, and the slight dimples he only got when he laughed deeply.

The fact that any part of her wanted that, throught of it, scared the crap out of her. The brief thought that it really wouldn't be so bad terrified her even more and was quickly banished.

It was pointless anyway, he wasn't staying.

She didn't want him to stay, it was better to have a good memory than have the relationship fail as hers always did. It was just that it was new now, and damn if the man wasn't a fantastic lover. But he'd eventually realize she wasn't enough for him, people always did. He saw who she really was, understood her, in a way she hadn't ever believed anyone could, and she wanted that. But the closer they got the more it would hurt when he left. He loved to travel, while she was inordinately glad to have finally found a place she thought she could call home. A place she could stay. She wasn't looking for a long term relationship and neither was he.

Emma didn't know how long her thoughts circled in more and more annoying spirals, but she was brought out of it when she felt a sudden heat on her hand, dropping the spoon and reaching at once to turn down the heat. She'd been daydreaming for long enough she hadn't even noticed the bubbles popping high enough to splatter the stove, hadn't noticed til one grazed her hand.

She glanced over at the clock again, noting that she had over three hours till her date. She quickly ran schedules through her head before grabbing her phone, texting both Ruby and Mary Margaret before she could talk herself out of it. "Cosmo 911. My place."

If asked, the women all told the men it was just a joking way of inviting people over for chick flicks, but what it really meant was you had issues even Cosmo couldn't sort out. Since Emma thought most of the articles in it were crap anyway, she'd never been a fan of the code, but the ladies had used it for years before she came to town and it didn't bother her enough to ask that it be changed.

"Wow, Emma, you broke your cosmoginity." Ruby declared as she let herself into the apartment not ten minutes later, a bottle of red wine in her hand.

Emma barked out a laugh at the word, though she knew what Ruby meant. She'd responded to them before, even though she didn't understand why anyone wanted her advice, but she'd never sent out the call before. She didn't realize the laugh had come out slightly hysterically until she saw Ruby's eyes widen, didn't realize she was going to speak until she blurted out, "I'm going crazy."

Ruby chuckled. "I seriously doubt that."

"Why are you crazy?"

Emma was so distracted she hadn't even heard Mary Margaret let herself in, and she spun towards her friend at the question. Again, it seemed like the filter between her brain and mouth were disconnected as she offered uncharacteristically, "Because he's nice, and sweet, and funny, and sexy, and fun, and..."

"And you're fallling for him." Mary Margaret said softly, crossing to join the other women in the kitchen as Ruby poured out the wine. She quickly did the math in her head, it was over two hours before Leo would want his dinner, she could have a glass. Wine was one of the things she'd missed most, and she nodded when Ruby looked her way before focusing her attention back on Emma.

Emma glared at her. "And that's crazy."

"Why?" Mary Margaret met her gaze with a steadiness Emma often coveted.

"Because he's not staying." Ruby said softly when Emma only looked down at her sauce in reply.

"But that makes it easier to talk to him, doesn't it?" Mary Margaret asked softly, knowing the answer even as she'd known the previous one. But she wanted Emma to hear it outloud. "You don't have to worry about when you're going to lose him, because you already know. You can just enjoy the time you have, make it all about this. Sometimes it's nice not to have to worry about the future."

"That's almost exactly what Killian said, the part about just enjoying the time we have. And I want to do that, it's just..."

"It's just he's nice, sweet, funny, sexy, fun, and..." Ruby chirped as she passed out the wine.

Emma directed her glare in Ruby's direction. "And not looking for a long term relationship."

"Because he spoke of just enjoying the time you have?" Mary Margaret questioned.

"Because he said flat out he's not staying." Emma answered. "You need to know that, I'm not trying to make him the bad guy here, I knew exactly what I was getting into. He's not like August, he didn't lie or make me think... And I thought it would be perfect, like you said, knowing when he's going to leave, knowing it's just a fling without expectations was like a dream come true, but..."

"But getting your dreams, it's strange but it seems, a little, well, complicated."

"Are you really quoting Wicked at Emma?" Ruby asked incredulously.

"Sorry, we went to see it last week. It's true, though." Mary Margaret said with a small blush. "Just because you think you want something doesn't mean it's best for you. I think you're ready to try again, Emma, to have a real relationship."

"But he's not staying."

"He could." Ruby piped in. "Just because he's always moved around doesn't mean he has to, right?"

"I don't know, there's..." Emma trailed off, not wanting to betray him. But she'd only heard mention in passing and had no idea what was going on, so she continued after a moment, "I think there's another a reason he's here, another reason he moves around, besides writing. He hasn't told me yet, but..."

"But you want him to stay." Mary Margaret said softly.

"Maybe?" Emma sighed deeply. "I'm afraid of it, but at the same time..."

"But at the same time you're upset enough by the thought of him leaving that you're pouring out your freaking heart to us, which is so completely unlike you." Ruby interjected when Emma trailed off.

"I've been driving myself crazy all day." Emma admitted with a sigh, taking a long drink of wine. "And I kinda suck at the girl talk, which is why I either just don't do it or I barrel in like this."

"You're doing fine, Emma." Mary Margaret said softly. "He's here another six weeks yet, right? Why don't you just give it some time and see what happens."

"What if I fall for him even more and then he leaves?"

"What if he doesn't?"

"You found your prince, Mary Margaret, it's easier for you to be optimistic."

"Emma." Ruby said softly. "I know it's a cliche, but the good is worth the bad. You guys helped me see that again after Peter died. There were times I wished I'd never met him, but then I wouldn't have all the good memories."

"We can't let fear of pain stop us from being happy, from letting people in." Emma whispered softly. "Killian said that too."

"I'm liking him more and more." Mary Margaret replied in the same soft tone. "Just give it time and see what happens."

"Or you could ask him to stay." Ruby offered lightly.

"You know why I can't." Emma shook her head even as both her friends nodded. "Gods, it's only been two weeks, I barely know him and yet..."

"I knew I was going to marry David the day I met him." Mary Margaret said with a smile. "Sometimes people just click."

"But I thought that about Neal too, we clicked the same way and..."

"And him showing up just quadrupled your anxiety level and brought all those issues back to the surface." Mary Margaret understood immediately.

"See, this is why I talk to you guys. How do you just get it?" Emma huffed as all her raging thoughts came back. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Because you let us know you." Ruby's voice was brisker than Mary Margaret's, but affection was still clearly evident.

"And just from what I've seen, I think Killian would get it too."

"I can't talk to him about it." Emma sighed, settling down at the table and staring down into the depths of her wine glass.

"Cause the only way to talk about it is to admit you want him to stay." Ruby clarified.

"I don't know what I want!" Emma let out a moan and dropped her head to the table. "It's only been two freaking weeks, this is so stupid."

"Feelings are never stupid, Emma." Mary Margaret said softly. "Just give it a few weeks, see how it goes. Maybe it will burn out, maybe it will get hotter. Give it time."

"And in the meantime give us details!" Ruby said with a good natured grin, knowing part of what Emma needed to sort this out was just a break from her downward thought spiral. Emma had certainly helped her out of enough of those.

Emma blushed even as she flashed her friend a grin. "The first night I lost count at four times and six orgasms."

"Damn!" Ruby raised her wine in toast. "I'm so gonna have to give him props the next time I see him."

"Don't you dare." Emma giggled at the thought of his face if Ruby did.

For the next hour they chatted happily over the rest of the wine and some of the brownies Granny had sent home with Emma, and Emma did indeed forget all about her anxieties. It was still weird to have friends who understood her, who were willing to help her with her issues, or help her stop thinking about them. Weird, but really, really nice.

OoOoOoOoO

"She's as beautiful as you said, mate." Robin grinned at Killian across the cafe table as both men drank their tea. "I truly do hope it wasn't my presence that kept her away."

Roland had finally fallen asleep after nearly a half hour of babbling about how much he had loved the horse ride, and with the lad asleep across the bench and Killian's lap, the men were finally able to talk. "I've told you it wasn't twice now you prat, but she's never ridden, and I think she just decided she wasn't up for learning today." It was true as far as it went and her secrets weren't his to tell, even to keep his oldest friend from worrying.

"We could have done something else." Robin offered.

"Nonesense." Killian waved a hand, dismissing the issue. "We all love riding, and she and I aren't bloody chained together."

"You look at her like you looked at Milah."

Killian cursed under his breath. "That's below the belt, mate."

"I've only got twenty minutes before we have to head out, I don't want to risk missing the flight." Robin replied, not without sympathy in his voice. "I know you've been with women since her, but Emma..."

"She's different, aye." Killian finished with a sigh when Robin trailed off. "I think I could love her if I let myself, some days I think I'm halfway there already. Which is bloody rediculous, I've only known her for two weeks, but..."

"Sometimes you just know." It was Robin's turn to finish his friend's statement. "You knew with Milah from the moment you met her."

"Aye, and that went so well." Killian said almost bitterly. He'd never have spoken of this with anyone else, except maybe his sister, but over a decade of friendship and some hard times had formed a friendship without pride or machismo. They'd each helped the other get over the death of a woman they loved; it was a hell of a bond.

"It went fine, until the end." Robin contradicted. "What was it your brother always said? About not giving up the present to worry about the future?"

"Basically that." Killian sighed. "She doesn't want anything long term, and I didn't think I did either. You know I don't, I haven't... it's only been one night stands since Milah. I never thought I'd find someone like her again, well, not like her... Emma's not... but someone who made me want more."

"She makes you want to stay, to give it a chance." Robin guessed, knowing his friend well.

"And you know why I can't." Killian said softly, his fingers tracing over Milah's tattoo through his sleeve." "I promised her..."

"Killian, don't you think she'd want you to be happy?" Robin asked softly. "You've been trying to get evidence against Gold for the past five years, but he's just too good at covering his tracks. He's too well connected, you'll never be able to prove he was responsible for her death."

"I promised her he'd go to jail, I want it to be for her but I'll take what I can get." Killian's voice was dark. "Although I take it that advice means you've come up dry again."

"I had a source, an accoutant whose conscience was starting to bother him, but he vanished the day he was going to deliver a flash drive to me." Robin replied, making sure to keep his voice low, although the shop was nearly empty. "We're trying to trace him before it's too late, but you know how it goes."

"He'll turn up dead a few weeks from now, with nothing connecting him to Gold or any of his associates. At least not after the police have been bought off, as always."

"That's how it goes." Robin confirmed with a sigh. "And you've found nothing here?"

"Nothing important." Killian confirmed. "I only knew that he was born here. I had hoped that he came back periodically, maybe had a safehouse or hideaway here, but it seems he hasn't been back since he left as a child. People remember his father owning a pawn shop, his mother being, well, rather a bitch, but very little of the boy. Apparently he was around 5 when his parents died in an accident, and he went off to live with some aunts."

"That's more than you knew before." Robin noted.

"Aye, but nothing helpful." Killian sighed. "As you said, he covers his tracks too well, and if he hasn't been back here since childhood it's sure to be a dead end."

"Do you know where you're going next?" Robin had no plans of dropping the Emma topic, but knew his friend well enough to know he had to come at it sideways.

"Haven't decided yet, I was hoping you'd have another lead as I've none left." Killian replied even as his traitorous mind whispered to him that he should just stay. He didn't have any leads anyway, and maybe... "I have thought of it, you know, maybe staying here, but every time I do it feels like a betrayal. And it doesn't matter anyway, she doesn't want me to stay. I can't really explain without breaking her confidence, but all she wants is a fling."

"Maybe she'll change her mind." Robin offered. "I really do think Milah would rather you be happy than waste your life trying to avenge her."

"Some days I think that too." Killian whispered. "But it's been five years already, and we've come so close. I keep thinking the next lead or piece of information will be what I need. Will be something on him that he can't make go away. I'm not sure that I..."

"You've got six weeks to decide, more if we don't have any leads by then." Robin responded as Killian trailed off. "Maybe just see how it goes?"

Killian chuckled. "It doesn't seem there's much else I can do, as I'll certainly not be pushing her away. Although you've been as alone as I these past years, I'm not certain why you're giving advice all of a sudden."

"I've actually been seeing someone for a few months. She lost her husband around the time I lost Marian." Robin admitted. "She's been, she's been good for me."

"And she's good with Roland?" Killian asked immediately, remembering the last few women who had either ignored him or spoiled him.

"She is." Robin smiled. "She's a son of her own, a few years older, so she gets it."

"That's bloody fantastic, mate." Killian gave him a real smile. "Why didn't you say anything before now?"

"I wanted to be sure there was something to tell." Robin grinned at him, raising his tea in toast.

"Good luck."

"You too."

Wishing it was a beer instead, Killian clinked glasses with him, wondering exactly what good luck meant for him at the moment.

TBC...


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: My muse is back AND I have time to write again, finally. Soooo sorry for the long delay, I'm glad I didn't leave it on a cliffhanger. I'll try to get back to Stars as well, but for now, enjoy...

* * *

Until I Found You

 _by Lady Callista_

Chapter 14:

 _OoOoOo Two weeks later oOoOoO_

"We really should do this more often." Ruby giggled as she opened the fourth, or maybe it was the fifth, bottle of wine they'd brought over to Granny's.

"Cause it's so easy for all of us to get the same night off." Elsa chuckled, admiring the manicure Tiana had just finished giving her.

"Well, it wouldn't have to be all of us." Anna grinned as she helped herself to another glass before taking her sister's place at the table. "I mean, it's not even all of us now. But I've missed girls nights."

"Well, you and Emma have been otherwise occupied lately." Ruby grinned, flopping back on one of the living room couches even as she grabbed some cheese and crackers from one of the many trays of snacks littering the table. "I was actually surprised you were both free tonight."

Emma blushed lightly even as Anna started giggling. "Kristoff is out of town for the weekend, he had to finalize some details on selling his old house. I guess we have been kinda attached at the hip lately, haven't we?"

"No more so than Emma and Killian." Tiana teased as she grabbed two of the empty bottles and brought them out to the kitchen. With no guests other than Killian staying at the bed and breakfast and Granny out for her own ladies night with Ruth and a few others, the spacious and comfortable living room had been the perfect place for a get together, but Granny would burn their ears off if they didn't leave the room spotless. "You've been in my place, what, four times in the last couple of weeks? Five?"

Emma took the teasing in the spirit it was intended. "I think it was six. Although a few of those were just for dancing. It's not like there are a ton of places to go around here."

"I still can't believe you're going out dancing." Ruby grinned, tossing a grape at Emma's head and missing by a good foot. She closed one eye and tried again, hitting the mark this time.

Emma retaliated, tossing it back and laughing when Ruby managed to twist and catch it in her mouth. "It's fun."

"Says the girl who tripped over her own feet, and mine, about a dozen times when I tried to teach her how to waltz." Ruby bantered back.

"We were drunk as skunks!" Emma shot back. "Or maybe my partner didn't know what she was doing."

"Well, we didn't have all the practice dancing horizontally." Ruby smirked back as all the other girls started laughing.

"Doesn't hurt." Emma grinned.

She'd taken Ruby and Mary Margaret's advice in the past few weeks since her emergency call to them, simply enjoying her time with Killian and trying not to think about what came next, or what didn't. He'd been here for nearly a month, and would still be here for another.

"Where is loverboy tonight?" Ella asked as she sorted through a stack of DVD's, trying to decide which chick-flick they should watch next.

"In his room upstairs." Emma answered easily. "Apparently the director or producer or someone wanted part of the movie to go a different way, so he's got a ton of rewriting to do."

"That's gotta be tough." Ella replied as she pulled a battered case from the stack, holding it up for approval and moving to put it in when she got a round of nods. "Remember that creative writing course I took in high school? How much I loved it? I can't imagine what I'd do if someone just came in and was like, change this and this and that and..."

Emma giggled as her friend trailed off. "Yeah, he hasn't been in the best of moods the past few days, apparently one of the scenes he's being asked to change is one of his favorites. He's been muttering on why he ever decided to write for screen instead of writing novels or something."

"But the publishers and stuff have a say there too." Ella answered as she settled on the couch next to Emma. "I looked into it once, and yeah, no thanks. Maybe I'll just publish online if I ever decide to."

"You should." Elsa grinned at her as she settled on the floor by their feet, knowing Ella loved playing with her long hair. "I remember reading your stuff in high school, it was awesome."

"Everything was so much easier back then." Tiana sighed as she worked on Anna'a nails, then grinned as _The Breakfast Club_ started up. "Which is why this is perfect."

"Such a great movie." Ruby agreed as they all settled in.

OoOoOoOoO

 _"Sure you don't want any?" Milah grinned at Killian, dangling a half filled bottle of expensive rum in front of him._

 _He grinned back, pulling her in for a quick kiss. "Let me get everything battened down first, a storm is supposed to role in overnight."_

 _"If the boat's rocking..." She giggled, kissing him again, more deeply this time. "I'll just go slip into something more comfortable."_

 _"I always find I'm most comfortable in nothing at all." He smirked at her as he watched her take a big drink right from the bottle._

 _"Me too." She giggled again, taking another drink before heading below towards the main cabin. "See you there, sailor."_

 _He chuckled as he started to pull the sails down, moving as fast as possible in his desire to get below and join her. Yet even moving quickly, the Jewel wasn't a small ship, and it took him nearly twenty minutes to get everything ready for the approaching storm._

 _He was just moving down the stairs to join her when an explosion rocked the ship._

Killian woke up with a jolt, his heart pounding. He instinctively reached for Emma, who had spent almost every night with him for the last two weeks, sighing when all he discovered was a cold bed. Right, ladies night downstairs, he remembered as he pulled himself out of the dream and back to real life, taking shaky breaths as he tried to push away the terror the memories had left swirling through him.

He hadn't had that particular memory turned nightmare in over a year, although he'd had it nearly every night for months after it first happened, although it has usually taken him much longer to wake up. It was what had turned him to the bottle, as it was the only way he'd ever been able to get back to sleep, or often even to fall asleep in the first place knowing what he would see.

He glanced over at the clock on the nightstand, realizing it was almost three in the morning. Somewhat surprised by that fact, as he knew most of the women worked in the morning and he hadn't expected them to be up this late, he let out a sigh as he got out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. He knew from experience that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, the fear of another nightmare always made it impossible unless he drank himself to sleep, and he'd decided years ago he never wanted to do that again.

With a deep sigh, he started to move over to the table that he'd turned into his desk, knowing he wasn't really in the right head space to work but needing to do something, anything, to keep his mind from his nightmares. He'd just reached to turn on his laptop when he heard giggling outside his closed door, and moved closer to it when he recognized the voices.

"But he hates being interrupted when he's working."

Killian could tell Emma was trying to be quiet, but in his experience quiet and drunk didn't often go together.

"The light is off Blondie, he's probably sleeping, and I didn't haul your ass up all these stairs just to have you run away."

"I'm not running away, but it's one thing when we go to bed together, but we're not, we, Red, I..."

"You should have thought of that when Thomas came to drive the rest of the girls back to town." Ruby's voice was only slightly softer than Emma's. "You're here, and you know Granny washed all the bedding this afternoon and hasn't made up the rooms yet. I mean, you can have the other couch if you really want, but..."

"But I guarantee a bed is more comfortable." Killian interrupted as he opened the door, a half-hearted smile on his face as both women looked at him in surprise.

"Killian... I, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up, but..."

"You didn't, lass." He replied softly. "And you're not interrupting my work either."

"But it's, like, three in the morning, and..."

Something on Killian's face must have given him away, for Ruby looked at him with sympathy for a moment before giving him a commiserating look and heading back down the stairs, leaving him alone with a sweetly babbling Emma.

"Let's get you to bed." He said quietly, offering his hand and sighing when she took it at once. He wondered if her beside him would be enough to keep the nightmares from coming back, and while he doubted it, she clearly needed to sleep now.

"Love when you take me to bed." She murmured, closing the door behind her as she moved into his space, her free hand wrapping around his neck as she drew him down for a passionate, if a bit sloppy, kiss.

He couldn't help the chuckle as she released his hand to grab his ass instead, keeping his hands gently on her back as he broke the kiss. "I meant to sleep, love, I guarantee you'll thank me in the morning."

"Rather thank you now." She grumbled, hands reaching for his pants, giving him a confused and almost hurt look when he stopped her.

"Emma, love..."

The hurt turned to worry when she noticed his hands were shaking. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head, backing away and sitting on the bed with a sigh.

"This isn't some gentlemanly thing because I'm drunk, is it? Cause it's not like you don't know that I..." Her eyes widened as she trailed off, not really sure how she was going to finish that sentence and being just sober enough to know doing so was a bad idea.

Thankfully, he either ignored the slip or didn't catch it, instead replying softly even as she crossed to him, "I know you know who you're with and what you want, it isn't that."

"Then what?" Emma sat beside him, seeing the pain in his eyes and taking his hand again.

It was the damaged one, simply because that's the side she was sitting on, and though he knew it didn't matter to her Killian couldn't help it when his eyes focused on their joined hands, the pale smoothness of hers a harsh contrast to the red and white shiny scars covering his own. "I fell asleep just after midnight, frustrated with my work and planning to let it stew for the night."

"You said you weren't sleeping."

"I woke about ten minutes before I heard you and Ruby." He admitted, a brief shudder passing through him as he focused on their hands again.

"Nightmare?" She whispered softly, finally understanding the reason his smile hadn't reached his eyes when he'd opened the door.

"Aye." He whispered, "One I've not had in years."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'd rather not dredge it all up again at the moment." He answered honestly, even knowing he'd have to tell her soon. She hadn't ever brought up the overheard comment that he was in Storybrooke for more than just a perfect setting for his screen play, but he knew she was curious, knew he couldn't keep putting off telling her.

It was the reason he couldn't stay, after all.

"Okay." She completely understood that, and leaned in to rest her head on his shoulder. "Think you can sleep again?"

"I normally don't, after... but maybe." He whispered, leaning his head against hers and taking a steadying breath. He knew he'd never again smell vanilla and cinnamon without thinking of her.

"I can help..."

He chuckled briefly. "You already are, love. It's always hard to think of anything else when I'm with you, but if you're meaning what you wanted when you came through the door, I just..."

"I have a better idea." Emma said softly, feeling how tense he was but understanding, even without knowing what the nightmare was about, why he wouldn't be in the mood for sex. "Well, maybe not a better one, but..."

He looked at her curiously as she moved towards the bathroom, but she only smiled at him softly. He had a moment to think that maybe she wasn't as drunk as he had thought before she was back, her hands behind her back.

"What are you up to?"

"Trust me?"

It was part statement and part question, but it was the tinge of uncertainly he could hear that had him responding at once, "Aye, love." It took him only a second to realize just how true that answer was, but before he could begin to contemplate the wonder of that, she was speaking again.

"Lay down, on your stomach."

Killian raised an eyebrow, but did as she asked without comment, unable to help himself from tensing further when the bed tilted under her weight a second before she straddled his hips. The scent of vanilla hit him a few seconds later, and he had just realized what she intended when soft, slippery hands started massaging down his spine and all thought drained from his head as he let out a soft moan. "Emma."

"Tell me if I'm hurting you." She said gently, thumbs kneading into the twin knots she could feel at the small of his back, curling herself over him for a moment to drop a kiss between his shoulder blades.

"Hmmm, feels divine, love, but you don't have to..."

"Shhhh." She bent again to kiss his back before resuming her gentle ministrations. "I think we've had this discussion before, and I told you then what I'll tell you now; I want to."

Killian felt a spark of desire shoot through him at the memory of her on her knees before him after surprising him in the shower.

He groaned as her fingers danced over his back, somehow finding all the points that made him sigh in pleasure. They were silent for several long moments as her touch and just mere presence soothed him. He was half asleep again, amazed at how her touch pushed all the horrors of his past away, when she spoke softly.

"Anna and I were talking earlier, and it made me think of something you said that first night we fell asleep on the couch. You said you forget about all the little things you miss. Like cuddling, and having someone to talk to about anything, or having someone to comfort you when you wake up from..."

"From a nightmare." Killian breathed out, feeling his muscles relaxing further under her ministrations even as a knot of desire reformed in his stomach, tightening as the movement of her hands shifted, almost more caressing now than massaging. "Having someone you don't always have to be strong with."

She wasn't touching anywhere she hadn't before, while they'd only been lovers for two weeks they hadn't been shy with each other, and had discovered their tastes and desires were almost perfectly matched. But there was something about this touch, this sweetness when it wasn't about desire or passion, that affected him in what he imagined was the opposite way than she had intended.

"Aye." She said softly, knowing the word sounded odd in her accent but not wanting to break the mood by having him laugh at her, as he had before when she'd jokingly tried to imitate his. "You're always doing all these little things for me, bringing me flowers, listening to me, dealing with all... with my past, and I just... I want you to know what that means to me. And I want you to know that you matter too."

The desire that had been slowly building shifted, becoming something softer as she stopped working at the knots in his back and simply laid herself down over him, hands carassing lightly up and down his arms. He didn't know if it was the alcohol giving her the courage to lower her walls in this moment, or just the connection between them having developed enough, but whether it was either of those or something else wasn't really important.

What was important was that she was here, and he actually thought he might be able to go back to sleep as long as he could keep his mind on nothing but her.

Killian felt her weight growing heavier on him, and realizing she was falling asleep shifted slightly, whispering her name. She mumbled something that might have been his, and with a chuckle he murmured, "I don't think this will be very comfortable for either of us, lass."

She mumbled what might have been an apology, sliding off of him to rest against his side and snuggling closer when he instantly turned to his side and drew her into his arms.

"Just wanted to help you sleep, but I'm so..."

He dropped a kiss against her temple, "You did, love, you did. Thank you doesn't even begin to cover it."

"You'd do the same for me."

He felt her fall asleep even as she whispered the words, felt her body relax into him, and could only kiss her forehead softly in acknowledgement. Killian was thinking of nothing but the amazing woman in his arms as he joined her in sleep.

TBC...


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: So I basically took a year off from fanfic, cause, well, life and stuff. Apologies to everyone who had to wait forever for this, but it's longer by far than my normal chapters and hopefully worth it.

Within this part is one of the main "changes" I warned you about. Because in a normal timeline, without the benefit of Neverland and no aging, it just seems too weird to have Milah have been with Killian and also be Neal's mom. But I wanted the first so had to change the second a bit. It's finally time to hear the story of Killian's past, and for Emma to get the details the reader already knows about the reason he picked SB to write in. (Oh, and the brief discription of the sails is taken directly from the stats of the _Lady Washington_ , the ship that was used as the _Jolly Roger_ , but if anyone who actually knows sailing sees something wrong with it let me know, lol.) Enjoy!

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

Chapter 15:

"Not even a little hint?" Emma teased Killian with a pout. "How will I know what to wear?"

It was the middle of May, but spring had been slow in coming, and inconsistent at that. A few nights ago when she'd gotten together with her girlfriends they'd come bundled in knit hats and warm winter coats, today her and Killian strolled down Main Street in nothing but jeans and t-shirts.

"Jeans are fine." Killian smirked back, pulling her to a halt to nip at her protruding lip before kissing her softly. "Bring a coat just in case, but tomorrow is supposed to be warm and sunny."

They continued walking slowly, arriving all too soon at the sherriff's office even as Emma checked her watch. "I've still got five minutes of my lunch hour."

Killian chuckled at the glint in her eye before kissing her again, whispering in her ear, "I have missed you these past few nights, love, but I hate to start something I can't finish."

She grinned at him, stealing another kiss before backing towards the door. "Will I see you later?"

"Sorry love, but I can't." Killian answered with obvious regret. "I just recieved the latest edits and changes they want for the script, I've got to go over them and get back into it, especially as I'm taking all of tomorrow off. And I've got a conference call with Robin and a few others at about 3 am."

She cocked her head in confusion at the strange time.

"It's a film company back in England that may want to hire me for a project, to them it's a normal 9 am call."

Emma nodded her understanding, trying not to think about his next project, where he would go when he was done here. She only had just over three weeks left with him. "You sure you want to pick me up at ten then? You won't get much sleep."

He smiled at her softly, reaching out to squeeze her hand even as her other found the doorknob. "I can sleep when I'm dead, as I'm not I'd much rather spend the time with you."

She smiled back as she slipped through the door. "See you tomorrow then."

"Aye, love."

Killian continued down the street, taking a deep breath. The truth was he'd not been sleeping much the past few nights anyway, nightmares of the past continuing to haunt his dreams. She'd spent only one of the past four nights with him, as she'd been on the overnight shift the other three.

It had been a relief in one way, he didn't want to disturb her sleep or have to talk about the nightmares. Yet at the same time, he remembered how, that first night, her quiet comfort and understanding had actually allowed him to sleep the rest of the night without being tortured by the past.

She'd been so patient with him when he first told her about the nightmares he'd had, not pushing for the reasons behind them, not being upset when he didn't want to talk about them.

It was, in fact, that very patience and understanding that had convinced him it was time to tell her. The wise words of a man he had chatted with at Grannys's counter over breakfast had added the final little shove he needed, probably without the man even realizing it.

It was time to tell Emma why he traveled so much. Time to tell her the truth of how Milah died.

And it was time to face one of his own fears as well.

OoOoOoOoO

They had left his car in front of her house, as he said it wasn't far to walk, and as they walked Emma realized he could only have one destination in mind, as there was nothing else down in this direction. They were headed down to the docks, to the small harbor on the east side of town.

There had been something off about him since he came to her door, a nervous tenseness that was so unlike him, though at first she'd just thought he was nervous about whether she would like whatever he had planned.

But it had gotten worse as they walked. While he normally enjoyed her stories of being a small town deputy, in fact she suspected at least one had gone into his screenplay, given the details he'd asked about it, he had barely seemed to be paying attention as she'd been telling him about the drunk and disorderlies down at the Rabbit Hole a few nights ago.

She'd been giggling even as she told it, remembering the look on Astrid's face when she had come to collect her husband from lock-up and found the normally grumpy man swaying back and forth in the cell with seven of his coworkers as they belted out an off-key rendition of an old Madonna song.

Jefferson, a friend and the bar's owner, had called the sherriff's office about twenty minutes after bar close, Emma suspected as much so that she could see the show as for help kicking the men out.

The story was worth a good laugh, but Killian had barely chuckled, and she'd noticed him clenching his jaw more and more as they got closer to the water.

"So I know where we're heading, but what are we doing?" Emma asked softly, wondering if he realized that his hand in hers was cold and clammy.

He took a deep breath then, briefly shaking his head as if to clear it, but rather than answer said just as softly, "Sorry love, I told myself I could do this but now I'm not entirely certain that's the case."

"Do what?" Emma questioned, sensing how serious he was about this.

Killian pulled them to a halt along the thick concrete levee wall surrounding the bay, taking a seat with one leg up on the wall and pulling her down to cuddle in his embrace. "I saw an ad in the Mirror the other day about day trips out into the ocean. I thought with the weather finally supposed to be nice this weekend..."

"Silver Cruises?" Emma questioned when he trailed off.

He took another deep breath. "Aye, that's the one. An old wooden sailing ship, well, one built to look old-fashioned at least, that could be rented out with her crew to go out on sails. It seems an odd name, and an odd service to offer in this area where most everyone who wants to be on the water has their own boats or ships, but it's something different and I thought you might enjoy it."

"I do." Emma answered, and off his look, added, "Ruby made me go a few months after I got into town, said there was nothing like it. Although I didn't realize they were running already, Edward doesn't normally start up his pirate tours until June."

"Pirate tours?" Killian asked in confusion.

Emma grinned. "It's been around over twenty years, so I'm told. A man named John Silver, and yes that was actually his real name, got the idea for when we have tourists over the summer. He named the ship the _Jolly Roger_ and would take people up and down the coast giving a, well, a rather embellished and melodramatic history of the area. Him and his crew all dresssed as pirates. He retired a while back, and Edward, the owner of the cannery, bought it and continued the gig. So Long John Silver retired and Blackbeard, which is what he dresses as for the tours, took over."

Killian managed a chuckle, though even to him it sounded half-hearted. "Maybe they're just trying to make a bit of money before tourist season starts then, as this said nothing about the whole pirate thing. Just a cruise out into the ocean and back, about a four hour trip total, with brunch."

"Yeah, this must be different, the one I went on was half that long."

He was silent for a long moment, but Emma didn't push, merely leaned in against his chest and let him have time to collect himself. Finally his voice came softly, "I used to love being out on the water, it was one of my favorite things about being in the navy, my brother's as well. It was what I missed most after I left the service, although I found I preferred sailing even more. One of the first things I bought once my career took off was a sailing vessel, named the _Jewel of the Realm_ because Liam and I had often joked about names and for some reason he fancied that one. I've not been out on the water since she exploded under me."

The last line was barely a whisper, but sent of jolt of recognition and sympathy through Emma as it suddenly made sense. She had hardly forgotten what he'd been through in the past, between the tattoo on his one arm and the burn scars on the other it was impossible to forget, but she had forgotten that the accident had happened on his very own ship.

"We don't have to do this." She said at once.

"Yes, I do." Killian breathed, so soft she wouldn't have heard him if she hadn't been cuddled so close.

Emma felt a sliver of terror shoot through her. Something had shifted in the way he held her, something she couldn't define that sent an ache through her heart even as that heart began to pound. They were on the edge of something, both somehow tense yet tender, and the terror of just how much he was trusting her, just how vulnerable he was being, made her speak before she could consider the wisdom of her words. "It's okay to be afraid."

Emma wanted to call the words back as soon as she said them. Between being a bailbonds person and a deputy, she knew enough to never imply that a guy was afraid. Especially one who was normally always calm and in control.

Killian relaxed into her, dropping a kiss on her shoulder through the golden curls his face was cocooned in. "It's not brave if you're not afraid."

She grinned at the old movie quote that was now all over every wanna-be inspirational website. Yet his reaction surprised her, even though she was glad he hadn't taken offense where many men would. "Why now?"

"Someone I ran into at Granny's the other day, um, Arn...no, Archie." Killian answered. "The bloke seemed half awake and was singing what I swear was a Disney song under his breath. Something about dreams and wishes and whatnot."

Emma giggled. "Well, fifteen new kids will keep you up at night."

Killian pulled back, looking at her in a mixture of shock and confusion, momentarily pulled from his train of thought. "Pardon?"

His expression only made her laugh more as she explained that Archie and his wife Anita had a pair of dalmations who had just had puppies. A surprising number of them.

"He didn't mention that." Killian explained before he went on softly, pulling her back against his chest. "He was casually asking me how my writing was going, and since he seemed genuinely interested I was discussing a point with him that the studio wants changed that I disagree with. An inspirational speech, if you would, as heroes and leaders always do before a climax. The old book it's losely based on has this amazing speech on how fear can be helpful and keep us alive, but that we can't let it overpower us. There's rational and irrational fear, and so on. Adapting only for phrasing, I basically used the speech word for word. They want it changed to an extent that..."

Emma tensed slightly as Killian trailed off with a frustrated growl, leaning back from his embrace until she could see his face. "What did Archie say?"

Killian dropped a kiss on her forehead as she redirected him back to what he'd been trying to explain. "The crux of what they want to change is they don't want the hero admitting he's afraid, because they see it as a flaw. Archie agreed with me that it's actually a strength, because it shows reason rather than reckless passion. It's okay to be afraid of things that can hurt you, it's human, but just because something has hurt you before doesn't mean it will again. For all my talk of not letting the past control you, I wasn't doing a very good job myself of setting it aside."

"If a horse throws you, get right back on." Emma interjected softly.

"Basically, aye." He agreed just as quietly. "I've tried a few times, but...but I'm hoping that it will be easier with you beside me."

Emma's only answer was to kiss him sweetly. She meant it to be quick, but hardly objected when he sank into her, deepening the kiss. She could feel the tension in him lessening, feel him gather himself and his courage. He'd always been the strong one between them, coaxing her out from behind her walls and settling her fears, and it felt good if a little terrifying to know that in this moment he was the one leaning on her.

They were both slightly breathless when the kiss ended, and Emma smiled at him even as she got to her feet, offering him her hand. They walked hand in hand down to the ship, and this time his hand in hers was warm and dry.

OoOoOoOoO

There were only a dozen or so passengers for the sail, mostly couples who, while friendly, wanted to be left alone. That suited Emma and Killian perfectly, as they felt much the same way.

There was a brunch spread out in the galley below decks, nothing extravagent but everything delicious. A few couples ate below, but Killian and Emma, like most of the others, filled plates and then wandered back up on deck where a number of tables and benches were spread out along the railings. The mild breeze tinged with salt was a perfect contrast to the warmth of the sun beating down on them.

Mother Nature had, apparently, decided the day was going to be one of her triumphs.

When they were finished eating, Emma snitching the last piece of bacon from his plate and then grinning at his protest before feeding half of it to him, he took her hand and led her towards the stern of the ship. There was a bench tucked in the corner where they'd neither be seen or heard, and Killian kissed her softly before pulling her down to sit behind him.

"It's beautiful out here, I'm glad we're doing this." Emma said softly. He'd had a moment when they first boarded, she'd seen the tenseness in his jaw and eyes, but once they were underway he'd mostly managed to relax.

"Aye, love." He said softly, his arm sliding around her automatically as she leaned into his side, his eyes scanning the water even as he breathed in deeply, letting the familiar scent of the sea mixed with the vanilla and cinnamon that was Emma keep him calm and in the moment. He really had forgotten how much he had loved being out on the water, rocking gently and letting the sights and smells erase everything else from the mind.

Emma cuddled into his side, content with the silence, with watching the seagulls dive for fish and letting the wind brush through her hair. She had a band in her pocket in case it started getting in the way, but Killian did so love it when she left it long.

They sailed past a large boat, currently not moving, with several men fishing off the front and sides. They were too far away for her to identify, and so she was surprised when they all raised their hands to wave, and was even more surprised when Killian raised his in return.

"You must have really good eyes." She commented. "Who was that?"

Killian grinned. "No idea, love. It's just polite, something people often do when on the water, I couldn't tell you why. Motorcyclists often do the same, acknowledge someone on a similiar craft as they pass, whether they know them or not."

"Huh. So what made you get a sailboat instead of something like that."

"I got a sailing ship, lass, not a sailboat." He chuckled. "And that was a cabin cruiser, looked like about a forty foot one or so. The _Jewel_ was about the same size, making it roughly half as long as the ship we're on now. This is a brig vessel though, not hugely popular these days but I assume they wanted the old-fashioned look, and they certainly have speed." Killian shifted them until Emma could see the sails above them. "Two masts, both square rigged, with both a topgallant and topsail above the gaff mainsail, and..."

"In English?" She interrupted. She knew the big piece of wood that looked like a tree trunk was the mast, and she knew what the sails were, but that was about the extent of her knowledge about ships.

He dropped a kiss on her forehead even as he laughed. "In English, the shape and type of sails and how they're rigged, or set up, often determine what you call a ship, and this is a brig."

"It looks complicated." Emma said as her eyes tried to follow all the different ropes.

"Tis, a bit, but I had a friend with one who would talk sailing all day and night if you let him, and he liked nothing more than to get others to share his passion. He spent nearly a year teaching me before he thought I was ready to captain one myself. Although my sails were significantly less complicated."

"So why not the, what did you call it, cabin cruiser?" Emma questioned. "Instead of taking a year..."

"Well, it was fun to learn, and it's always good to pick up new skills. As to why sail and not motor, well, listen."

"To what?"

Killian squeezed her shoulder. "Exactly. Just the sails snapping, and the water hitting the boat, and your sweet words in my ear. I'd much rather hear that than a motor. She had one of course, for docking, or if the wind died and such, but once you fall in love with sailing nothing else compares."

"Would you teach me?" The words were out of her mouth before she thought about it, before she realized that she could hardly learn in three weeks and they didn't have longer.

He stiffened briefly even as she mumbled an apology, then said softly. "I'd enjoy nothing more, love, but... Do you remember those ten minutes we agreed to forget? When you overheard me on the phone, not knowing I was talking to my sister-in-law?"

Emma could feel the blush of remembered embarrassment rising, and only nodded.

"I'll tell you the story now, if you've a mind to listen."

"You don't have to."

"I know." Killian took a deep breath. "I came to Storybrooke for two reasons. One was the script, which I could have written in any of dozens of similiar towns. The reason I picked this one was that a man named Robert Gold was born here. He was Milah's husband when I first met her, and I swore on her grave that if it's the last thing I do I'll see him in prison for her murder."

Emma's mind swam with a mix of shock and confusion. His voice was colder, darker, than she'd ever heard it, but she couldn't make sense of the words themselves. "I thought she died in the accident when your ship..."

"It wasn't an accident, Emma." His arm slid away from around her shoulders as she pulled back, turning to face him with confusion plain on her face. "The authorities were right that the ship was sabatoged, but they could never prove it, and even if they had they couldn't have charged me with it, because I didn't do it."

"But if they can't prove it, how do you know..."

"Because she'd been inspected not two days before, and I was told everything was perfect. Inspected, I learned later, by a man who through several dummy corporations was in the pay of Robert Gold. Gold had been served divorce papers by Milah nearly a year before, although that wasn't public knowledge, and he only had a few days left to sign them. She was convinced he would, finally, and we'd taken the ship out for the weekend to celebrate."

Emma reached for his hand when he paused, taking a deep breath. He was telling the story as if it had happened to someone else, straight facts with almost no emotion, but she could see the mix of pain and fury in his eyes. It reminded her, exactly, of how she'd told him the story of Neal and his betrayal.

He laced her fingers through his, squeezing briefly in appreciation, before continuing in a flat voice. "It was Saturday night, and a storm was supposed to roll in a few hours later. She'd gone down to the cabin, I was on deck preparing the ship to weather the storm. I don't know what she turned on or did exactly, there wasn't enough of the ship left to tell, but whatever it was it made the generator explode. And there's no way that could have happened unless..."

"Unless someone sabatoged it." Emma finished when he trailed off.

"Aye. That big an explosion, that much fire, when she had just passed an inspection, there's just no way it would happen, it was why there was so much suspicion at first. And then there were traces of a strong seditive found in Milah's system. Gold claimed she took them regularly, but I'd been her friend nearly three years, been more than a friend for almost two of those years as they were seperated, and I'd never seen her take a single pill. I can only think somehow he managed to drug the bottle of rum she brought aboard, as we'd eaten the same things but I hadn't wanted to drink until I got the _Jewel_ secured. It was probably just insurance in case the explosion itself didn't take us out, but it was one more thing to make me suspicious. I don't think she'd have made it out either way, I couldn't barely get down to the cabin through the fire, and bloody hell did I try, but..."

His voice had broken before it cut off, and she could see that he was on the verge of tears, but she didn't speak, only brought her other hand over to wrap around the one she still held, softly stroking the scars he had gotten for trying.

Killian was silent for a moment, grateful beyond words for her quiet support as he composed himself. His eyes, which had been staring straight ahead into the water now flicked down to their hands. "There was a short flight of stairs going down to the cabin, and in the seconds it had taken me to orient myself after the explosion there was already smoke coming up them. I made it almost to the bottom when the roof above, already on fire, started collapsing on me, and the hand I'd reached out to open the door took the brunt of it. I, I don't remember much else until I woke up in the hospital. They said I'd likely gone into shock and eventually passed out from the pain. But somehow I must have gotten her up to the deck and both of us into life jackets. I'm told the coast guard fished us out of the wreckage, but she was already gone."

"But he never came after you again?" It sounded callous even as she said it, but it was honestly the first question that popped into her head when it was clear he was done talking for the moment. She knew he didn't want sympathy or pity, and she'd run into enough bad people in her lifetime to know that some just had no stopping point.

"I'm not in prison because there was no proof of anything, although if you mean why didn't he just manufacture evidence on top of everything else, I couldn't say. As to why I'm not dead, he stopped in the doorway of my hospital room one day, when I was still so drugged out on painkillers I could barely move. And he said he hadn't expected to see me again but was almost glad, because now I'd know the pain of living without her. My mind didn't connect the statement then, but later when I thought about it with a clear mind and added it to my other suspicions, well, it seemed almost a confession."

"Why would there be anything here that could help send him to jail?" There were dozens of questions she wanted to ask, everything from if he had known from the start Milah was married to why he was trying to put the man away himself, but she tried to keep her mind on the practical, and that part of the story just didn't make any sense to her.

"I told the police my suspicions, and they _strongly suggested_ it wouldn't be wise for me to accuse Gold of anything. Which in turn made me suspicious of them, and led, in the end, to me figuring out he basically owned the police, along with a good many other people. He's dirty, Emma, involved in more illegal activities than you can imagine, and he's so damn good at it no one in his personal life suspects a thing. He's got contacts all over the country and beyond, and I've spent the past five years traveling to try to connect him to things or get information. I'm almost out of leads and ideas though, so when I discovered he had been born here, I picked the town on the off chance there was something, anything, here. But he hasn't been back since he moved away when he was around 5 years old, when his parents died, so this was a dead end as well."

It still didn't make sense to her. She knew someone could have enough power and influence, and money, to buy off cops and judges and things like that, and she knew someone could have enough connections to always work through intermediaries and never be connected to a crime. It wasn't Gold or his actions that didn't make sense to her, even not being able to imagine killing someone for leaving her, for not loving her, she knew there were people out there evil or vindictive enough to do just that. Especially if they already ran a crime syndicate, which it seemed from Killian's description Gold did.

No, what didn't make sense to her was how one man could hope to take him down. Killian was strong and brave, intelligent and resourceful and dozens of other things, but he was, at the end of the day, a writer. She didn't see how he had any chance of taking down a kingpin.

"I can see the questions on your face, love, and I'll answer the easiest one first. I've tried to hire private detectives, the first two quit, advising me to drop the issue in a way that makes me believe they were either threatened or bought off, a third vanished after a few weeks, and the fourth was found dead. Gold's never come after me personally, he enjoys my suffering, my inability to touch him, I think, but I can't risk others. Robin knows, he's my oldest friend and helps when he can, but he's got his son to think about as well, so he doesn't take risks. It's me or nobody, love, so I do my best. I keep thinking I just need one thing, one lead to pan out. I know it's almost impossible to prove his guilt in Milah's death, but I swore on her memory he'd go to prison, and I mean to keep my word."

"Like they got Capone for, what was it, tax evasion?"

"Something like that, yes." He answered, pulling his hand from hers and running both through his hair in frustration. "But my hope is that if I get him on something big, if it sticks, the feds will be free to look into other things. I've made a few contacts in the FBI over the years, ones I trust, and they want him, Emma. They've tried. But he's untouchable."

"When I was telling you about Neal..." Emma trailed off as yet again her first thought came out of her mouth.

"When I said I knew what men like his father were like, aye love, I wasn't exaggerating." Killian said softly. "And when I said I'd have found a way if it had been me, I wasn't lying. If I didn't know Gold has no living children I'd have wondered if he was Neal's father. They're certainly the same type of man."

"Neal ran away from home when he was around 14. He told me his mother had died a few years before, and his father was, well, initially he just told me sadistic and controlling. It was only later that he confided even as little as he did about the crime and shit."

"Milah was his second wife, nearly twenty years younger than him, but it wasn't arranged or for money, they truly did fall in love. Or, as she said, she fell in love with who she thought he was, and found a beast lurking below his public face. They had no children. His first wife had died over a decade before, their only son dying in the same so called accident. Only a few weeks after rumors started circulating that she was planning on leaving him, I might add. "

"If there's anything I can do to help..." Emma trailed off, not even sure herself what she was thinking or offering. But she did have a badge, and a talent for learning about and finding people. Not to mention a variety of not so legal skills and tricks. And he knew, after all he had told her about all of this, that he could trust her.

Killian shuddered. "Forget I told you any of this, and kiss me goodbye in a few weeks. I wasn't lying when I told you I hadn't wanted a serious relationship since Milah, but even wanting one I know it's not something I can have."

"Okay, so you're clearly under no obligation to answer this, but... but..."

"I'll give you a completely truthful answer to anything you ask me in this second love, and will if you wish forget you ever asked it." He could read her as well as ever.

"What you said earlier, that if you'd been in Neal's place you would have found a way to stay with me... I know you weren't lying, but..."

"But it seems to contradict what I just said, and the fact that I'm leaving." Killian understood at once. "It's not just what he might do to you, or us, for all I know if I stopped going after him he'd just leave me alone. I believe he's vindictive enough to go after you regardless, that he's petty enough to not want me to be happy with anyone, but there's a chance. That's not why I can't stay, that's not why this..."

"It's because you swore to avenge her, I get that."

The matter of fact way she said it made Killian realize that just as he could read her, she could read him as well. She understood what his word meant to him. He kissed her then, softly, briefly but full of feeling, before asking quietly, "Then what was your question?"

Emma was silent for a long moment. She'd trailed off earlier because she was trying to gather her thoughts, trying to find the courage to ask what she'd told Ruby and Mary Margaret the other week she could never ask. She could never ask him to stay with her because it had to be his choice, he had to come to the decision on his own, she'd always wonder and worry otherwise. Yet this wasn't really asking him to stay, this was only wondering if..

Killian watched her patiently as she tried to work out what she needed to ask. He reached out to tuck some of her hair behind her ear as the wind blew it into her face, realizing how automatic the gesture had become as he ran his fingers down her cheek.

Emma leaned her head into the soft caress even as she finally whispered, "If you hadn't promised her, or if you found out tomorrow that he'd been arrested, well, would you... could we..."

He smiled gently as he understood. "If either of those was the case, I think I'd be moving to Storybrooke for good."

"I don't know if that makes this easier or harder." Emma breathed honestly. It was easier because she knew it wasn't that he found her personally lacking, it wasn't that he didn't want to stay with her. But it was also harder, because even though on one level she understood and respected his reasons, she couldn't help the slightly bitter thought that he'd gotten her to live in the now, gotten through the walls her past had formed around her heart, but wasn't willing to give up on the past himself.

"A bit of both, I'd say." He answered just as honestly. They were quiet for a long moment, and then he asked hesitantly, "So, what happens now?"

"Thank you for telling me, Killian, I know it was hard and it helps me to understand. But in the end, really, it doesn't change anything between us, we knew we only had this stretch of time from the start." Emma's smile was small but real. "So, now we enjoy the weeks we have left."

"I do wish I could stay, Emma."

"Me too."

TBC...


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Not quite as edited as normal, I'll fix mistakes as I find them, but don' have time bow and wanted to get this posted.

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

Chapter 16:

"It's just me, Granny." Ruby called out as she let herself in the front door of the house.

"Granny is over at Ruth's." Emma called back, stepping out of the kitchen where she'd just finished with the dishes from dinner.

"And where's loverboy?" Ruby teased as she hung her coat up and slipped out of her shoes.

"I really wish you'd stop calling him that." Emma sighed, knowing that wasn't going to happen. She wandered into the living room, snagging the remote from the table before curling up in a corner of the couch. "I thought you worked tonight."

"I was supposed to, but Anna called me a few hours ago asking if she could pick up some extra shifts. I've had a headache all afternoon, so I figured she could just take mine tonight, and we'd work out the rest later." Ruby responded as she dropped into a chair, eyes flicking to the television as Emma turned it on and loaded Netflix. "What are you watching?"

"Not sure yet." Emma answered as she started scanning through titles. "Killian's on a business call, and might have a few more tonight, so we figured we'd just chill out here."

"Got ya." Ruby responded as she started to rise. "Just have Granny give me a call when..."

"You can stay, Red." Emma chuckled. "Well, as long as you don't talk through the entire movie."

"I just figured you'd want to be alone, I mean you've only got, what, two weeks left?"

"Yes, thanks for reminding me." Emma said dryly, casting her friend a half-hearted glare. It wasn't like she didn't know how many days were left, but she tried her best not to dwell on it.

"Sorry, it's just, I've never seen you this happy." Ruby sighed.

"I've never _been_ this happy." Emma acknowledged, lowering her voice and listening for sounds of his approach. "And I know it's gonna hurt like hell when he leaves, but until then I don't want to think about it. I wouldn't change a thing, Ruby, I wouldn't change these weeks even knowing..."

"I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance."

"Thank you, Garth Brooks." Emma quipped, flipping back and forth between several action movies, trying to decide what she was in the mood for.

"It's true though." Ruby said softly. "You helped me after I lost Peter, you helped me see that as much as it hurt my life wasn't over. I know this is different, I mean you knew this wasn't going to be a long-term thing, but I still say it could be if..."

"Don't." Emma cut her off. "He explained why he can't stay, there are reasons I can't tell you but, but I understand. It's not just a matter of... well, he has a good reason and let's just leave it at that."

"Whatever you say." Ruby replied, looking at her friend sadly. "Have you thought of going with him?"

"He didn't ask me to."

"That's not what I asked."

"Why can't you just let this go?" Emma huffed as she turned from the TV to give Ruby her full attention.

"Because I've never seen you as happy as you are with him." Ruby answered softly. "You're in love with him, Blondie, I know you too well to not see it."

Emma's first thought was to deny it, and she almost did. She hadn't let herself think that way, had tried so hard even in her own head to never think about love. Because if she didn't love him, it wouldn't be as hard when he left, and... She was saved from having to reply to her friend, or think anymore about what Ruby had said, when both of them heard Killian coming down the stairs. She shot a glare her friends way and Ruby mimed sealing her lips.

"Sorry that took so long, love. So, how do you feel about..." He had been talking as he came down the last few stairs, and trailed off when he noticed Ruby, saying hello to her even as he joined Emma on the couch.

"How do I feel about what?" Emma asked.

"Oh, um, do you think you could get Thursday and Friday off?"

"She can from here." Ruby said at once, not knowing what was going on but wanting to encourage them to spend as much time together as possible. "I was just telling her one of my waitresses wants more hours, so she can have my shifts and I'll cover for Emma here."

"That's very kind of you lass, thank you." Killian acknowledged before turning back to Emma. "So, how about it love?"

"What are you planning?" She wanted to know.

"Well, I need to go into New York City to sign some contracts and take a meeting. I was going to meet Robin there on Friday and fly back the same night, but he said he's bringing his girlfriend and their kids in on Thursday for some sightseeing and fun, and I thought maybe we could do the same. Either with them or on our own. A nice little mini-vacation."

"That sounds fun, actually, I've never been there, but what do you mean kids? He has another one besides Roland?" Emma asked.

"Well, his girlfriend does." Killian replied, glancing over at Ruby. He knew that she knew, but kept his voice soft as he explained, "It's why I said we could explore on our own if you wanted, because um, Regina, that's her name, she has an eleven year old boy."

Emma's eyes closed as she took a few deeps breaths, grateful when she felt his hand come to rest comfortingly on her leg. Eleven, the same age her son would be. It was hard enough to be around Leo, she'd had difficulties with Roland as well, but the thought of a boy the same age hers would now be was even more gut-wrenching.

"I'd very much like you with me, Emma, but I understand if it would be too much." Killian said softly, noting Ruby slip from the room out of the corner of his eye. "But as I said, it can be just the two of us, you wouldn't even have to meet them if..."

"It's not brave if you're not afraid." Emma whispered, cutting him off.

Killian slid closer to her on the couch, his arm coming around her as she echoed back his words from when he'd been anxious and afraid of getting on the ship. "But you don't have to be brave all the time."

"I don't want to avoid kids for the rest of my life." Emma said softly, opening her eyes to meet his and feeling her eyes fill at the gentle way he was looking at her. "I want to be able to play with Leo as he gets older, and with Ella and Aurora's kids, and all the other ones as they come along. I... as much as part of me will always regret giving him up, the rest of me knows I did the right thing. I couldn't have taken care of him, couldn't have been a mother, not then, and... and I wanted him to have a good life."

"Then believe that he has." Killian said softly.

"I have to." Emma whispered, taking a deep breath as she laid her head on his shoulder. "I already have Friday off from the station, I'm sure David or Philip will switch a shift with me and cover Thursday."

He dropped a kiss on her forehead. "If you're sure, love." He said softly, and continued when she nodded. "Then I'll get the plane tickets and the hotel. Any idea what you'd like to do on Thursday?"

"I don't suppose you could swing Hamilton tickets?"

Killian laughed, glad she knew perfectly how to lighten the mood. "I actually might be able to, are you truly interested?"

Emma only pulled away from him enough to stare. "You really have those kind of connections? I know Elsa said when her and Anna went she had to get the tickets months ahead of time. You've only got three days."

His eyes twinkled as he gave her a smirk. "If you were serious, I'll see what I can do. Are you truly a fan of musicals, should I get tickets to something else if I strike out on Hamilton?"

"I don't know if I'm a fan, but I've gone with Elsa to a few, and with Mary Margaret. Just the touring companies though, they come to Portland sometimes. It's fun." Emma answered.

"I've not been in years, but aye, it's a good way to spend an evening." Killian agreed. "I don't know what's showing at the moment, but we'll see what we can do. No other requests? No Statue of Liberty, or..."

"No, none of the touristy stuff." Emma cringed just as Ruby came back into the room with a tray full of snacks.

"You still haven't picked a movie?" Ruby teased as she dropped the tray on the table, grabbing a bunch of grapes from it before sitting in the overstuffed chair she had occupied earlier.

"Nah, Mr. Famous Writer here is teasing me that he can get Broadway tickets that would make Mary Margaret turn green."

"She just saw Wicked with David, remember?"

Emma laughed, completely understanding why her friend had misunderstood the reference. "I mean green with envy at what I get to see."

Ruby's eyes widened. "You don't mean..."

"Yup." Emma smirked, glancing over at Killian, who had pulled out his phone and she could see already had a screen up for hotels.

"What else are you doing?"

"Not sure yet, I was just saying as you got back that I don't want to do the touristy stuff, but..."

Emma cut herself off when Killian's phone rang, and she heard him let out a deep sigh as he glanced at the screen.

"It's one of the directors, sorry love, this may be a long one. I'll be in my room, start a movie if you want, I can always catch up." Killian dropped a quick kiss on her temple as he rose and headed out of the room even as he answered the phone. "I'm here, Ariel, I'm here. I got your emails, and I really do hope you were kidding about wanting the hero to have laringitus for half the movie."

Emma only chuckled as his voice faded out as he ascended the stairs. Every time she'd heard him answer the phone when it was Ariel, he'd teased the director about some insane idea she had emailed him about, and Emma honestly didn't know if Ariel really did tease him with such things, or if he actually made them up himself. He'd only winked at her when she asked, then distracted her with a kiss that had left her tingling.

She went back to scanning movies even as she asked Ruby what she felt like watching. Then had to repeat her friend's name when she noticed she was staring at the stairs. "Red!"

"What?" Ruby's head snapped towards her. "Did he say Ariel? As in _Queen Ariel,_ undisputed queen of rom-coms?"

Emma laughed. "That's the one, sorry, I didn't realize you didn't know. The script he's working on now is for her next film."

"Seriously?" Ruby's eyes widened. "No wonder he can score Hamilton tickets."

"He only said maybe, so don't say anything to Mary Margaret in case..."

"My lips are sealed." Ruby once again mimed zipping her lips. Then clearly demonstrated unzipping them before asking. "But about what I said before he came down..."

"You know that part of the conversation where I always ask if you want me to discuss something with you or mind my own business?" Emma interrupted.

"It's time for me to mind my own." Ruby sighed. "I'm just glad you're happy, Emma, and I wish you could stay that way."

"I knew we'd have to say goodbye though, Ruby, I knew how this was going to go."

"Now who's quoting, well, misquoting Garth Brooks?"

"Oh, hush." Emma grinned as she said it. "You got the damn song stuck in my head when you quoted it earlier. It's like that meme about your brain being a computer with twenty tabs open and you can't find the one playing the freaking song."

"Hey, be grateful it's a good song." Ruby winced. "I think my headache started when Zelena played the Macarena on the juke box at the diner. And then walked out the door before it even started."

"The witch!" Emma laughed at Ruby's expense over the latest joke the owner of Emerald Dreams, the city's only New Age store, had played on Ruby. The two had been going back and forth at it for over a year, so long that Emma couldn't even remember what had started it.

"Seriously, though, Blondie..."

Emma shook her head. "Just give me these two weeks, Red. Let me not think about the end, and just enjoy the two weeks. And if you need something else to think about, I'm totally gonna need help packing for NYC."

Emma grinned as her friend's head snapped around and her eyes sharpened. "You'd let me help you pack? You always say clothes don't matter."

"I'm going to Broadway." Emma answered. "Well, maybe. And meeting his friend's girlfriend, and I mean, I don't want to embarrass Killian, and..."

Ruby rose at the uncharacteristic show of vulnerability from her friend and came over to sit by Emma. "He loves you, sweetie, he'd never be embarassed by you. But you offered, I'm not gonna let you get out of it."

"Ruby!" Emma snapped halfway through the second sentence as her heart stuttered. The same way she had tried to never let herself think that four letter word about him, she'd also never let herself think it might be the same on his end. He liked and was attracted to her for certain, she even believed he cared about her, but she couldn't let herself think further. Not even after his confession on the _Jolly Roger_ that he would stay in a heartbeat if things were different.

"So I'm thinking you want casual for the day, but still sexy and..."

Emma sighed in relief when her friend changed topics instantly. There was a reason they were best friends. In two weeks she would really need Ruby, and all her other friends. Until then, she was just going to take things a day at a time, and enjoy being happy.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Welcome to the Big Apple." Killian said with a flourish as the plane landed in JFK airport early Thursday morning.

They'd had to get up at barely five in the morning to drive to Portland and catch the flight, but Emma was wide awake and full of energy and excitement.

He was keeping it a secret whether or not he'd actually gotten the tickets, and what all they would be doing, but they had decided that they'd just hang out by themselves today, and then meet up with Robin and the others Friday afternoon. Killian and Robin had a meeting in the morning and contracts to go over, and then they could all do something together before flying out that night.

It was the perfect arrangement for Emma, who really did want to work at being better around children, but also wanted to relax and just be with Killian.

Her eyes widened as they left their terminal, and she started giggling. Robin stood there in a black suit, grinning at them and holding a small sign that said Swan and Jones.

Killian laughed loudly as they approached his friend, giving him a quick one armed hug before asking, "What are you doing here? I thought the studio was sending a car."

Robin grinned back at both of them. "They did, the driver is waiting outside. But they wanted to amend one of the contracts, and I figured we could go over it now on the drive in so you have the rest of the day with your lady. Shouldn't take more than an hour or so."

"I thought it was only fifteen miles or so to the hotel." Emma asked as Robin took her carry-on wih an overexaggerated bow that made her grin rather than take offense, and the three of them began making their way to the exit.

Killian and Robin both laughed before Killian looked at her apologetically and tossed an arm over her shoulders. "Aye, and in New York traffic that's about an hour. As I said, welcome to the Big Apple."

Emma sat up front with the driver so that the guys could spread out over the back seat of the towncar, expecting to be slightly bored as she listened to them hammer out details and bitch mostly good-naturedly about contracts. She soon found, however, that there was so much to see that she simply tuned them out and tried to look everywhere at once.

She'd lived in Boston before, and Seattle, a few other big cities, but nothing could have prepared her for NYC. Pedestrians filled the sidewalks, cars filled the streets until they resembled parking lots, and it was so loud she could barely hear herself think. She was amusing herself by counting the number of horns she heard in a minute when she realized the car had stopped and Killian was speaking to her.

"Sorry, what?"

He chuckled as she turned in her seat to face him. "I've heard Paris described as a snooty old biddy holding court, and London as a stodgy old lord, but there really is no way to describe New York. You just have to experience it."

"That might be an understatement." Emma grinned back at him as they got out of the car, moving towards the trunk to get her bag before she noticed the driver had already taken care of that. She was still straining her neck to look everywhere at once when she felt Killian's hand on the small of her back, and allowed him to escort her into the massive old building in front of them.

"I've stayed here before." Killian told her as they entered a huge lobby that had to stretch two stories of the building's height. "Welcome to the Paramount, a mix of old world charm and beauty along with all the latest ammenities. We've a view of Time Square and only a short walk over to the Richard Rogers Theatre."

Emma recognized the name from Mary Margaret and Elsa's long talks, and spun to take his hand even as they headed up to the long oak reception counter, which gleamed with so much polish she wondered if she'd be able to see herself in it. "Does that mean you got..."

He only grinned at her and turned to the counter to check them in as Robin turned to her. "We're all heading out to a little Cuban place up the street in about an hour, Regina swears the food is to die for. Did the two of you want to join us?"

"We were kinda thinking of being on our own today." Emma offered softly, not wanting to offend Robin. She had only spent a brief time with him in Storybrooke, but he had seemed like a nice and fun guy, much like Killian, and she knew the two men didn't get to see each other as often as they wanted to.

If had been just Robin and his girlfriend, Regina, she reminded herself, they could have had lunch with them and then gone their own way after, but Emma really was hoping to have some time to relax and enjoy the city, and Killian's company, before having to be around the two children. She found herself relaxing when Robin gave her an understanding grin.

"I can understand that, lass." Robin said with a twinkle in his eye. "We're probably going to take the boys to a huge toy store after lunch, then there was some mention of a carriage ride in Central Park because for some reason both Henry and Roland want to go on one. After that we'll see, but..."

"But we do indeed have other plans, mate, sorry." Killian said as he rejoined them.

"Not a problem, in fact..." Robin trailed off as they headed towards the elevators and he saw Regina strolling towards them with both boys.

"They refuse to stay cooped up in the room any longer." Regina said with a smile as Roland ran to Killian and was scooped up into a hug.

Robin grinned at them before turning to Regina and her son, who was standing quietly beside her. "And they shouldn't have to, nor should you." He laughed as Killian passed him a squirming Roland before settling the boy on his hip. "Let's go wander around and work up an appetite for that restaurant you can't stop talking about."

"In a minute. I'm assuming this is the man you can't stop talking about." Regina's retort was softened by a smirk as she took in Killian, her eyes glancing to Emma who stood quietly beside him.

"Aye, best friend and best client. I've been hoping you would get to meet soon, this seemed a perfect opportunity." Robin said as he turned back to Killian. "Killian, Emma, you both know Roland, but this is Regina Mills and her son, Henry."

They all said hello as Killian and Emma both shook hands with Regina, but before they could say anything else Roland started jabbering about the horsies and Robin laughed, saying they could all get to know each other better tomorrow. Still laughing, he set Roland down and allowed himself to be pulled towards the front doors as Regina and Henry followed.

"All right, love?" Killian asked quietly as they headed towards the elevators again.

"Yeah." Emma smiled at him as she realized it was actually true. "I'm pulling a Scarlet O'Hara and just not thinking about any of that til tomorrow. Thank you for being okay with it just being us today."

He kissed her softly. "I can hardly object when it means I get a whole day alone with you. Even in your quiet hamlet that's rare."

"Don't forget the whole night." Emma flirted, which started up a light easy banter as they got in the elevator and headed up to their room.

All chatter stopped when he opened the door, and all Emma could do was stare. "I think this is bigger than most of my apartments."

Killian chuckled, looking around the room at the sectional couch centered on a huge TV, the breakfast table that could seat four, the short wet-bar, the small kitchen. The door to the bedroom was open, and he could just see the huge king-sized bed with more pillows on it than he'd ever figured out what to do with. Other than toss them on the floor. "It's around a thousand square feet, I believe, which makes it bigger than many of my apartments as well. But I sometimes have to stay for a week or more at a time, so I might as well do so comfortably."

"I kinda wanna go jump on the bed."

His laugh exploded as he drew her in for a quick kiss. "Feeling a bit like Eloise, darling? I promise not to tell."

Emma laughed with him as she headed into the bedroom, freezing when she saw a large wrapped box on the bed with an envelope sitting on top of it. "Umm, Killian?"

He followed her into the room with both their carry-ons. "Check the envelope first."

His mild suggestion had her raising her eyebrows, but she opened it, both surprised and not to find two Hamilton tickets in her hand. Laughing again, she threw herself into his arms. "You really did it."

"I like spoiling you, love." He admitted. "And while I'm not a huge fan of musicals, I don't mind them, and when one becomes the talk of the town I feel I should at least give it a chance."

"And the box?"

"You'll have to open it and see." He grinned at her, but she detected a hint of nervousness in his eyes.

Emma's mind raced with what it could be as she undid the bow and ribbons. It almost had to be clothes, she couldn't imagine what else would be in a box this shape, but she also couldn't imagine why he would have gotten her something to wear here, especially knowing how much she'd agonized over what to bring with her. Then her mind went to the flannel pants and tanks she always wore to bed, well, if she wore anything. "I'm not gonna find some sexy microscopic lace thing in here, am I?"

Killian smirked as he started hanging their clothes in the closet. "Although that's a visual I won't be forgetting anytime soon, no. And I'll say honestly I'm not certain what is in there either, but it is for tonight."

Emma sent a questioning look at him as she pulled the paper from the box. "You bought me a present and don't even know what it is?"

"Well, I know what, just not precisely...oh, just open the bloody box, love."

Emma shook her head slightly, now more curious than ever, as she pulled off the top of the box and unfolded the tissue paper within. For the second time in less than five minutes, all she could do was stare.

Then, unable to help herself, she wiped her hands on her jeans before reaching out to lift the gown, she couldn't call it simply a dress, from the box.

It was sleek and shiny, in a bold, clear red she knew would look good on her. It had long, narrow sleeves, a square cut neckline, with a slim fitted skirt that would trail to the floor. Then her eyes fluttered to the small business card that had fallen on the bed when she lifted the dress, and she nearly dropped it as she read the word Armani.

"Killian, I can't, it's too much, I..."

"Damn, Tink wins again." Killian muttered, having seen the look of awe on her face when she first saw the dress.

"What?" The statement, completely random from Emma's perspective, cut her objections short.

"When I first started having to do red carpet events, one of my contacts put me in touch with a lass at Armani, she's outfitted both me and my date if I had one for every event I've been forced to appear at." Killian said as he stared at the dress, already picturing Emma in it. "Ruby may have mentioned to me that you were unsatisfied with the formal you were bringing, but that it was all you had, and, well, I called Tink and asked if I sent her a picture of you and your size if she could find you something. I was nervous, as she's never dressed someone without meeting them, and she bet me she'd find something perfect."

"What did you bet?" The sheer insanity of it had Emma needing to ask. A girl she had never met had bought her a dress that was simply perfect for her.

"I foot the bill at a restaurant of her choice the next time she has to dress me for something." Killian admitted. "We normally just meet at her offices, but she said if she's going to give me an amazing night out I owe her one." Emma's eyebrows raised again, and he hastened to add, "She's happily married, and if that dress looks as amazing on you as I believe it will, I'll even invite her husband to join us."

"But Killian, it's an Armani, and I'm sure there's no price tag for me to try to peek at discreetly, but, but the hotel and, and fucking Hamilton, and..."

"I may not be a movie star, love, but writers do well enough in the business, if they're lucky. I have been, and..." Killian took a deep breath. He knew what she was feeling, because he'd felt it as well when he first started seeing Milah. "It's not about the money for me, and I know it's not for you either. It's about making you smile, and having fun with you, and about you feeling just as beautiful and amazing as you are."

Every ounce of worry and every word of objection slid away under the sincerity blazing in his eyes, and she felt everything she'd tried to shove away and bury in the corner of her mind rushing through her.

Damn it all to hell, Ruby was right.

She was in love with him.

She could picture herself with him months from now, years, decades. Whether she was in a multi-thousand dollar dress at a five star restaurant, or in jeans and a hoodie at Granny's, she could see him at her side. When he looked at her with those gentle, soul-searing eyes, when he gave her that smile that made his dimple flash, when he just understood everything about her that she couldn't explain, she could see staying with him.

It didn't make her panic or want to run away before he could leave her, it made her want to hold on and never let go. But she couldn't. If he couldn't or wouldn't stay with her of his own free will...

She broke eye contact before he could read the thoughts running through her head, looking down at the dress with a smile plastered to her face. "Well, before you tell her she won, I suppose I should try it on."

She only had ten days before she'd never see him again, she thought as she entered the large bathroom adjoining the room.

Then she reminded herself that she was channeling Scarlet, so she put it off for another day and tried on the dress. It fit perfectly.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Although slightly disgruntled that she had changed out of the dress again without allowing him to see her in it, Killian couldn't argue with her teasing comment that anticipation made things more fun.

They had spent an enjoyable few hours simply wandering the city, doing whatever they wanted and stopping anywhere that caught their eyes.

He'd changed into his suit when they got back, perching on a bar stool at the breakfast counter and checking messages on his phone, expecting from experience with Milah and a few others to have to wait around an hour for her to get ready. Killian had planned their dinner reservation accordingly.

An unexpected knock at the door about thirty minutes later had him looking up, praying it wasn't Robin with word of another change in the contract, and he crossed over to open it, surprised to hear a voice calling out it was room service.

He hadn't ordered anything, and opened the door intending to tell the man so, when Emma's voice called out from the bedroom, "Damn, it was supposed to be five more minutes. Can you..."

Killian smiled then as he finished opening the door. "I've got it, love." He was greeted by a uniformed waiter, a bottle of champagne and two crystal flutes decorated the small cart he pushed into the room and over by the breakfast counter at Killian's nod.

"What made you call for champagne?" Killian called curiously as he removed the foil wrap from the cork, although he'd wait for her to open it.

"Because I'm wearing Armani and staying in a hotel room bigger than my apartment and going to dinner and a Broadway show, so I'm just embracing the day." With those words, Emma pushed the bedroom door open and stood framed in the doorway. And had the satisfaction of watching him freeze, jaw dropping in astonishment before he closed his mouth with an audible click. She giggled as he damn near dropped the bottle as well before setting it carefully on the counter.

"Maybe if I get Tink a personal chef for a month, we'll be even." His eyes were hot as he slowly approached her, eyes raking up and down before stopping on her face. "Emma, love, you look incredible."

The hand that skimmed down her side was light and gentle, the softness of his touch belying the heat and desire on his face.

"The dress really is perfect."

"Perfect on you." He corrected, kissing her ever so lightly. He knew if he let himself touch and kiss her as he wanted to, they'd never leave the room, and although that sounded like a fine course of action at the moment he didn't want to cheat either of them out of the night out. They had more time alone than they'd ever had before, and he wanted to enjoy every minute of it as they'd planned. "And I don't mean only the dress, although it does look as if it was made for you. You're always stunning, Emma, and I may need a new word because even incredible doesn't seem to cover it tonight."

"You clean up pretty well yourself." Emma smiled as she took in his black on black shirt and tie, the only colour a cerulean vest that made his eyes look even more amazing than usual.

He blushed when she said as much, hand coming up to rub at that spot behind his ear that always showed he was nervous or embarrassed. "One of the first things Tink ever said when becoming my dresser was that I should always wear blue, blue accents she called them, because I had the most amazing eyes. I may have thought she was flirting with me and hit on her in return."

Emma only laughed, trying to imagine him seven or eight years ago, new to the world of Hollywood, and especially fashion. "She obviously wasn't offended."

"She laughed and said her husband's eyes were just a tiny bit more amazing, or she'd have taken me up on it." Killian smiled fondly at the memory. "We've been friends ever since, although we rarely see each other."

"Am I going to meet her?"

"I had hoped, but no, she left for the west coast this morning on business. Although if you don't mind..." He held up his phone, clearly asking to take a picture.

"So she can see she won the bet?" Emma asked with a grin.

"And because I always want to remember exactly how you look tonight." Killian said softly, capturing an image of the almost sappy smile that flashed over her face briefly before she controlled it. He took another picture of her grinning to send Tink, knowing he'd never show anyone else the first one. Because that look on her face and in her eyes was something he knew she wouldn't want anyone else to see, probably didn't even want him to see, and he briefly wished he hadn't seen it either.

It had been everything soft and romantic, all the things Emma normally wasn't. It had been love he saw in her eyes in that instant, before she hid it, and his heart took a hard jolt.

He'd told Robin weeks ago that he was half in love with her, and if he was honest with himself he knew by now he was all the way there. He wanted to stay with her, wanted to settle down in Storybrooke and have the life and the family he hadn't thought about since he lost Milah. He hadn't been lying when he told her that, told her if it wasn't for his oath on Milah's grave that he would stay with her, but even then he'd tried hard not to think about the word love.

Even knowing his own feelings, it was easier to think that she didn't feel the same way, even though the way she'd wondered if he would stay if it wasn't for his promise had made him believe she might. It was easier to think she still just wanted a spring fling, certainly not without feelings involved but with a definite end date. He knew how much he would hurt when he left, he hadn't wanted to think about how much she would as well.

"Killian? We should open the champagne if we want to have any before we have to leave for dinner."

Her words and touch on his arm drew him out of his thoughts, and he reminded himself of her earlier words about thinking about it tomorrow. Determined to do exactly that, although in about ten days rather than just one, Killian gave her a wink and a grin as he popped the cork. "Well then, let's begin the story of tonight."

TBC...

AN: So I'm kinda torn. I can totally write their night out on the town if people want to read it, at least parts of it, but it won't really advance the story or plot at all, it's just be cute and maybe a bit lemony. I kinda want to write it, I also kinda just wanna get back into advancing the plot. Opinions? And as always, reviews appreciated.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, A&E, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: I more or less had a split vote on whether to write their night out or get on with the plot, so we're going to do some of each. The second half of the date part is decently (ha ha) smutty, so if that's not your thing just skip to the chapter break when you hit it. Enjoy and let me know what you think! And apologies in advance for the cliffhanger.

* * *

Until I Found You

by Lady Callista

Chapter 17:

"One last dance before we head back?" Killian asked, wishing he could whisper in her ear but the volume of the music around them making him need to more or less shout.

"Sure, but I need a minute first." Emma replied at the same volume, setting her empty glass on the bar, her eyes scanning the club to find the restrooms and grinning at him when he pointed to the back corner. She kissed him softly before sliding her hand from his and heading that way.

He couldn't tear his eyes from her as she swayed away, and felt himself grin when after about ten feet she stopped and tossed a wink over her shoulder at him, making it clear she knew and didn't mind that his eyes were on her ass. He really did owe Tink for getting her that dress, although he knew it was as much her as the dress itself that had kept him captivated all night.

Killian leaned back against the bar as he took a small sip of a truly excellent rum, his eyes flitting around the packed dance floor although he wasn't really seeing it. He'd been surprised when Emma wanted to stop here after dinner and the show, but her eyes had lit up when they'd heard the music pumping out as they were walking by, and he had been completely unable to resist her grin. They were still riding an energy high from the city and the dinner and the musical, and while there were certainly other ways they could, and would, burn that off later, they'd never been somewhere like this.

Storybrooke didn't have any clubs, and while they'd had fun with waltzing or just swaying at the Lily Pad, and he'd even taught her a bit of swing one night when a jazz band was passing through, there was something to be said for the grinding, pulsing beat and flashing lights of a dark club. The DJ was perhaps a bit more into what he believed was called trance music than he would have liked, but it was hard to complain about how she had molded to his body, their hips moving in a dirty and seductive rhythm that was the perfect build up for the rest of the night.

The little minx's hands had been everywhere, hidden from others by the darkness, and he'd spent the whole hour they were here at half-mast. And had cursed the long skirt that he couldn't slide his fingers underneath as she spun in his arms, grinding her ass into his hips. He had done the next best thing with his hands, sliding them up and over her breasts, squeezing slightly as his hands traveled back to wrap around her waist.

And he needed to stop remembering that moment, or he was going to go back to way more than half-hard.

He took another small sip of his drink, relishing the flavors wafting over his tongue the same way he'd relished the juniper and mint that had flavored Emma's kiss. His other hand twitched, hoping she'd hurry back because he couldn't get enough of her touch tonight. Other than when one of them had needed a moment, they had been touching all night.

She had stayed on his arm from the time they left the hotel room until they were outside, and then she'd surprised him by sliding her fingers up his forearm to link their hands together, a slightly shy look on her face as their clasped hands fell to their sides. He had been confused until she said softly that she had always thought that looked uncomfortable for the guy, and he had chuckled even as he said it really wasn't, but he hardly objected to holding her hand instead.

At the restaurant they'd played footsie under the table, and while she'd taken a deep and startled breath at his hand at the small of her back when he escorted her to the dance floor, she hadn't objected then or when he did the same as they entered the club.

Her hand had been in his or on his thigh throughout the musical, and her head had even rested on his shoulder during a sadder part.

This was, without a doubt, the best date he had ever been on, and he was fairly certain she would say the same given what she had previously called her best. He was remembering that date, and their first kiss, when he felt her arms slide around his waist.

He jolted slightly, and she leaned up to ask what he had been thinking about.

Killian leaned in and kissed her softly. "The first time we did that."

Emma beamed at him as she remembered as well, that first kiss that had started out so tentative and ended with them almost mauling each other in the living room. The desire that had been building all night suddenly flared through her, and with a grin she took his glass, finishing the last swallow of rum before taking his hand and tugging him to the door.

He went along easily enough, although once they were out on the street again he questioned, "So no last dance?"

"I'd rather dance in private." Emma whispered in his ear, loving how her heels made them almost equal in height. "And I gotta say, Killian, I can't thank you enough for everything tonight. I don't know how you're ever gonna top this one."

There was a beat, both of them clearly having the thought that they probably couldn't improve on this one, not in the scant days they had left together, but then they both buried the thought. Live for today, don't worry about next week.

"This one isn't over yet." He whispered in her ear, dropping a soft kiss on the side of her neck and feeling her breath catch. Their hands were still linked, and with a gentle tug they were moving towards the hotel, talking softly about everything and nothing.

The easy banter died the moment he opened the door to their room.

"Killian... How did you..."

The lights were dim, soft, romantic music wafted through the room, and if there were less than fifty candles spread around she'd eat her hat. Well, if she had one. She could see the flickering glow of more coming from the open bedroom door, and the air was scented with something dark and musky. His hand was warm on the small of her back as he gently urged her further into the room, and when she saw the huge vase of roses on the table, along with already poured champagne, it was all Emma could do to keep breathing.

She had a brief thought that this looked like most girls' dream proposal, and her heart took a hard jolt as desire rather than fear rushed through her. She knew that wasn't what this was, knew it was just the romantic in him wanting a beautiful and perfect end to the night, and for a second a rush of disappointment filled her. Before she could analyze that thought too closely, even if she'd been willing to, she realized he was speaking.

"Is it too much?"

He'd obviously taken her silence and expressions the wrong way, and Emma hurried to reassure him. "No, it's perfect, it's amazing, but how..."

Killian grinned, kissing her sweetly before moving by her to pick up the champagne glasses. "The benefit of a hotel such as this is they're willing to help with almost anything. When I checked my phone for the time as we left the club, I also sent a text here to let them know we were on our way. I've told you I enjoy spoiling you, although I did worry from your face that I went overboard."

Emma smiled as she accepted the glass he offered, trying to regain her equilibrium. "Are there rose petals all over the bed?"

"Ahhh, no?" He answered, clearly not sure where the question came from.

"That would have been overboard." Emma's grin turned cheeky as he chuckled with her. "This is perfect."

"To the perfect night, then." Killian raised his glass with a beaming smile, hers echoing it as they tapped glasses and drank.

"It really was, Killian." Emma said, making a hum of approval before taking another sip. "I don't know how to thank you."

"By not feeling you need to, love." Killian said softly as he reached out to tuck some of her hair behind her ear, running his knuckles down her cheek and feeling his blood heat when she turned her head to kiss his fingers they way he loved to do to her. "Although I wouldn't say no to another dance."

"Do you mind if I change before we start _dancing_?" Her voice lilted over the last word. "I don't want anything to happen to this gown."

Killian chuckled, remembering a particular night when both her dress and his shirt had been casualties of their fun. "As much as I hate to say it love, given a few of the fantasies I've had tonight, that might be prudent. Although I did wish to help you out of it."

Emma reached past him to set her glass on the table, letting her body rub against his as she gave him a hot, deep kiss before whispering in his ear, "I have something else you can help me out of."

His eyes went dark as his breath caught at the promise in her voice. "Should I change as well?"

Emma shook her head, kissing him again, long and passionate, before pulling back from his arms and heading into the bedroom, shooting him a loaded glance over her shoulder before she closed the door with a few parting words. "Stay exactly as you are."

Killian downed half of his champagne in one gulp before setting his glass on the table carefully. His hand went up automatically to take off his tie, he'd always hated the bloody things, but he remembered her words and only loosened it slightly. His mind spun with all the possibilities of what she might come out in, but no one particular thought was any less appealing than the others. Given her reaction when she'd wondered if there was lingerie in the box which had contained her gown, he assumed it wouldn't be that. It had been a spectacular visual his mind brought up, as he'd told her, but he knew that wasn't really her style and he'd rather have her comfortable, not trying to...

"Bloody hell, love." He physically checked that his jaw wasn't still hanging open, earning him a giggle, and then all he could do was stare. The few brain cells still trying to make a valiant effort to work made him wonder if he should make sure he wasn't drooling either.

The three inch gold heels were still on her feet, but rather than being covered wrist to ankle in siren red she was now, barely, covered by black and green lace.

"Is it too much?" She echoed his earlier question with an innocent lilt in her voice that said she knew just how silly that question was.

"That's hardly the description, love." Killian said in a rough voice as he slowly stalked towards her, his eyes hot as they raked up and down her barely clothed form, realizing the green was the same color as her eyes. "It's just unexpected, given your reaction when you thought that was what was in the box earlier. Microscopic lace thing, or something like that?"

" _Sexy_ micsoscopic lace thing, I believe is what I said." Emma said with a grin. "And if that's what it had been it would have meant I let Ruby, Ella, and Tiana drag me through two hours of lingerie store hell for nothing."

"It certainly wasn't for nothing." Killian chuckled as he came within touching distance of where she posed in the doorway, yet made a point of keeping his hands to himself. "I hate to be a typical man, love, but..." He raised one of his hands, pointer finger up, and spun it around in the universal gesture that she should do the same.

She did, wiggling her ass at him with a smirk, and as she finished the spin she found herself pressed against his heat, his lips hot and intense as his hands cupped her face. Her hands locked on the doorframe before she could stagger under the sudden onslaught.

"You're simply exquisite, love." Killian whispered in her ear when they finally had to draw apart for breath, his hands splitting the black sheer robe, or whatever fancy French term would be used for it, at her waist to slide his hands along her warm skin, although he made no effort to untie the two bows that stretched across her cleavege. "Is this going to be yet another moment where one of us says the other didn't have to, and the response is they wanted to?" He teased with his words even as he ran his fingers along the band of the green lace knickers she was barely wearing.

"I did want to." Emma said softly. "And part of it was seeing that look on your face. No one has ever looked at me like you do."

Killian took a deep breath, trying to concentrate on her words, on the fragile tone he heard in her voice. When she trailed off he leaned in to kiss her softly, fighting against every instict he had, against all the desire rolling through him, to not just take her hard and fast against the doorframe. "You're always beautiful, love, but I am a man, and that outfit is rather designed to put ideas into my head." He kissed her again, harder and longer this time but still holding back.

"What do you want tonight?" Emma murmured in his ear when they finally broke the kiss, and when she felt his body jolt her eyes snapped to his. "Tell me."

"Whatever you do." His voice was full of gravel.

He was telling the truth, Emma knew he was, but there was something he was holding back. The way he had jerked when she asked, the way his lips ran fire over her neck rather than meeting her eyes... something was off. He wanted something that either he was uncomfortable asking for, or simply didn't want to ask because he assumed she would say no. "What if I want whatever _you_ do?" She watched his eyes darken further, and knew he was close to the edge.

Killian felt his entire body shudder with desire as dreams and fantasies ran through his mind in a quick but detailed loop. He was holding on to his control by a thread, terrified of hurting or scaring her but remembering some of their trysts when she'd wanted him anything but gentle. "I want to worship every inch of you tonight, but Emma, at this exact moment I just want to pin you to the wall and make you scream my name."

The use of her name was the hint, a chance to back out, but Emma remembered the fire that had flashed through her during their first kiss, when she'd ended up pinned to the wall. It was the first time she'd felt his body and heat fully, the first time she'd felt and seen his carefully leashed desire let loose, and she wanted everything that moment had promised. They'd come close, but he had never completely lost control like that again. "Killian, fuck me."

Her voice was husky with desire, and Killian felt something inside him snap at the pure lust in her eyes. He stepped into her in a heartbeat, pinning her to the doorframe as his arms swept under the lacy black dream floating around her to grasp her hips tightly as his mouth descended on hers in a brutal and passionate kiss.

She gasped into his mouth as his fingers slid down into the lace barely covering her core, driving into her without warning even as his other hand slipped up to squeeze her breast through the lace. He trailed kisses along her cheek to her ear, nipping at her even as his fingers continued to work. "With me, love?" Her every reaction said she was, but he'd never forgive himself if he hurt her.

"Gods yes." She breathed as she arched against him. She would have been embarrassed by how wet she was when he'd barely begun touching her, but he was rock hard against her hip and his eyes were just as crazed.

"Whatever I want?" He husked in her ear as he trailed kisses up and down her neck, dropping his hand from her breast to begin undoing his tie.

"Yes." There wasn't a moments hesitation in her response, but he saw the slight uncertainly in her eyes that said how nervous she was with agreeing to that without conditions.

He slowed his fingers between her legs, dropping ever softer and softer kisses on her neck before he pulled back from her completely as he ran his tie through his fingers. She moaned in protest as he withdrew, she'd been right on the edge, but her eyes fluttered open as he said her name softly. "Emma." Her eyes widened as he slowly brought his hands up towards her head, his black tie held horizontally and moving slowly towards her eyes. Her breath hitched, but it clearly wasn't in fear, and she made no move to stop him as he slowly blindfolded her. "Trust me, love." He murmured in her ear.

Emma trembled as his breath caressed her neck, she'd never been blindfolded before and couldn't have imagined how it suddenly seemed to make all her other senses go on alert. She expected him to immediately begin his insanely arousing assault on her again, but could hear him moving away and then some rustling. "Killian?"

He was back at her side in an instant, hands on her waist as he slowly turned her and moved her a bit before sliding his hands down her arms, taking both her hands and slowly raising them to rest against the wall, his hands pinning her own tightly once they were at head height. She felt his hips pushing against her and gasped. In the few seconds he'd been away from her he had not only released himself from his pants but slid a condom on, and Emma gasped more loudly as he ran himself back and forth over her most sensitive areas. She tilted her hips back in silent permission, and felt his breath hitch before he took a deliberate breath and slammed into her.

She screamed his name as she clenched around him, stars exploding behind her eyes unexpectedly as a small but real orgasm ripped through her.

Killian froze at her scream, knowing that even though she'd been wet enough there had been so little foreplay he might have hurt her. But before he could ask, before he could even start to feel guilty, she threatened to kill him if he didn't move right that second.

The fire roared through him, and the harshness of his voice surprised even him as he nibbled on her ear before saying, "I won't stop as long as your hands stay on the wall." It was both a challenge and an offer of an out, and he felt her recognize that before he released her hands, sliding one of his further up the wall for better leverage even as he pulled his hips back, his other hand sliding back to her core even as he drove his hips forward again.

The pace he set was hard and relentless, but within a few thrusts Emma was moving with him, her hands staying firmly on the wall even as her elbows slid down to rest on it as well, her hips tilting further back to deepen the angle and make them both groan.

It wasn't long before she was screaming his name again, and he was helpless to do anything but follow her over the edge.

Killian wasn't sure how many minutes had passed before he heard her moan, "Did we die?" and he struggled to orient himself and catch his breath even as he noted the lazy satisfaction in her tone. When he finally managed to open his eyes he realized they'd both sunk to their knees, somehow with him still inside her. And he noted with amazement that her hands were still firmly planted on the wall even as his caressed over her softly.

"I believe it's called _the little death_." He husked in her ear as his hands slid up to cup her breasts, fingers playing over her nipples and echoing her gasp as she tensed around him. He slid his hands up slowly, knuckles grazing her cheeks before catching the edges of the blindfold. "Can you handle more?"

"Try me."

Killian trailed his fingers and lips over her for another long moment, making sure he'd be at least mostly steady on his feet before pulling out of her and dealing with the clean-up, rising with her cradled against his chest and depositing her gently on the bed.

"I never knew this was something you wanted." Emma whispered as she melted back into the covers, her fingers trailing over the edges of the black silk around her head but not trying to remove it.

"It was a fantasy that wouldn't go away. I'm not even sure when it started or why, it's not something I've ever..." Killian admitted, trailing off as he knelt on the bed between her spread legs, his hands sliding up the soft curves of her calves and thighs even as he dipped down to lick a hot line down her hip and make her sigh. "I never thought you'd be amenable..."

"I trust you."

It was said softly, but completely matter of factly, and Killian folded forward to rest his head on her chest, momentarily overwhelmed.

Emma ran her hands gently along his back, grateful he'd taken off his shirt and jacket so that she could run her fingers over burning hot skin. It had been amazingly sexy to have him fully clothed as he took her minutes ago, especially with every touch heightened by the loss of her eyes, but now it was skin she wanted.

"Tell me the best thing about it." Killian asked as he shifted up and nibbled on her ear.

"Not knowing what you're going to do next." Emma breathed without a moments hesitation, her breath catching as she felt him kiss between her cleavage before he untied the first bow with his teeth, the second immediately following and causing the lingerie to fully part and slide down to pool beneath her, and then both of his hands were on her exposed and heaving chest as his lips found the pulse point in her neck.

Emma was soon lost in sensations as he used what she had just told him to drive her to the point of madness, lips and hands everywhere and then nowhere, hard then soft, gentle then rough. Time became fluid as the pleasure coursed through her, and she was a second away from begging when his mouth closed over her clit even as his fingers slid into her again and the pleasure erupted in a burning fire that stole her remaining senses.

Emma came back to herself in stages with the hard, warm press of his now naked body against her side, his fingers trailing lightly up and down her body the first thing she noticed. She was still shaking, still trembling for breath, trying to focus on whatever he was murmuring in her ear and realizing slowly it wasn't in English.

"What are you saying?" Her voice was soft, lazy, her hand catching his and lacing their fingers together, needing a break from the sensual assault.

"That you're beautiful, and precious, and my darling, and..." Killian trailed off as he realized he'd been speaking Gaelic, and realized he'd also called her both his beloved and his heart. Keeping back the words that would only hurt them both in the long run, he reached up to gently pull the blindfold from her eyes, dropping kisses over her face as her eyes slowly opened, gleaming green and still half blind. "And what you do want, love?" Killian murmured darkly in her ear, his lips trailing down her chest. "Which one of your fantasies haven't we yet fulfilled?"

"You expect me to remember anything right now?"

Killian chuckled as he caught a nipple gently in his mouth, his fingers sliding down her hip only to be caught again in hers before he could reach her heat.

"Too sensitive." She breathed, turning to her side and running her fingers over his chest, feeling his heart racing almost as fast as her own still was. "You really do know how to spoil a girl."

Killian laughed abruptly in delight, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer to his chest. "I love watching you fly for me."

"I love watching you too." Emma said softly, no longer shy in any way about what she wanted with him. "Do you remember our first shower together?"

"In exquisite detail, love." He whispered back, kissing her sweetly. "Although I may have lost count of how many we've taken together since."

"But we've never taken a bath together, and there's a huge tub in there, jets and all." Emma said as her hands slid down his chest, fingers wrapping around his hard and straining length. "But first..."

Killian gasped as she began to stroke him with one hand, the other pushing on his hip. He rolled to his back obediently, surprised when she straddled him at once and reached to the nightstand for a condom. "I figured you would need more than a minute."

"It's all a matter of angles." Emma whispered, sinking down on him in one slow, smooth glide. "Let's see how many we can find before dawn."

OoOoOoOoOoO

Emma didn't wake until almost eleven, deliciously sore and still feeling like she was half floating. She reached for Killian automatically before remembering him kissing her softly hours ago as he rose to go to his meetings, telling her to sleep as long as she wanted. She doubted he'd gotten more than three hours of sleep, but honestly couldn't feel too bad about that.

Rising and stretching, Emma wandered into the shower, delicious memories of the night before still rolling through her mind. Much like their first time, she'd lost count of both the number of times and the number of orgasms, and gods was she going to miss that. There were a hundred things about him that she loved and would miss that had nothing to do with sex, but damn if the man wasn't a god in that category. He had probably ruined her for anyone else, Emma thought as she stood under the soothing water, then cursed under her breath and forced that thought away. No thoughts of love, or loss, or anything else were going to intrude on this spectacular mini-vacation.

Putting on one of the hotel's thick, soft robes when she was done with her shower, she slowly started getting ready for the rest of the day.

The guys had thought they'd be back by noon, giving them an hour to chill before they all met for lunch at one, and making it so that Emma had Killian by her side when she had to deal with the children. Emma knew that wasn't the most important consideration, but she knew Killian had thought of it.

But the guys weren't back yet, she thought yet again as she glanced at the clock. It was almost one, and Emma really was getting hungry. Plus she didn't want to be rude and leave Regina alone if the woman was already waiting. Well, not alone, but with the two kids, though if it hadn't been for the two kids Emma would have had no problem going down.

Emma ran her hands through her hair in frustration as the thoughts continued to loop through her head, finally getting annoyed enough with herself that she stuffed her room key in her pocket and headed down to the restaurant. She pulled her phone from her back pocket and texted Killian that she hoped things were going okay, and that she'd meet him in the restaurant.

 _Sorry, meeting ran late. Just got out, see you in 10._

Emma let out a deep sigh as his reply came back just as the elevator dinged for the lobby. Ten minutes. She could do ten minutes. Or she could get lucky and the others could be late.

Reminding herself that it wasn't brave if you weren't afraid, Emma stepped into the restaurant.

Regina _was_ late, but at the table Emma was directed to when she gave Killian's name sat Henry and Roland, the older boy playing a video game while the younger looked through some kind of picture book.

Henry glanced up as she stood slightly awkwardly beside the table for a moment before taking a deep breath and sitting across from the boys. "Hi."

"Hey." Henry jerked his chin in her direction, giving her a smile when she reached immediately for her water and took a long sip. "Mom got an emergency call, she sent us down early cause we can't hear about her work. She just texted me she's almost done though."

"And Killian just told me they'll be back in about ten minutes." Emma replied, reminding herself to breath as she set down her water. Talking to a child shouldn't be any harder than talking to an adult, although she'd never been the overly conversational type anyhow. But the boy didn't go back to his video game, in fact he just sat there looking at her, and something in what he'd said made her ask, "What does your mom do?"

"Oh, she's not anything cool like a secret agent or something, she's a lawyer."

Emma chuckled at the kid's description of cool and thought of what she'd say to Ruby if they were goofing around. "Maybe she is a secret agent and you just don't know it."

"Nah." Henry said at once, then seemed to pause and think about it. "I mean maybe, but I think there'd be more clues and stuff. What do you do?"

"I'm one of our town's deputys, and I help out at a bed and breakfast." Emma answered, grinning a little bit at how seriously he'd taken the question but then how quickly he had moved on. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to be a writer, like Killian is." Henry answered without hesitation.

"He says it's hard work but he loves it." Emma replied, not knowing what else to say. She was saved from having to come up with something else to ask him when Regina walked up and took a seat.

"Sorry about that, you'd think the office could get by without me for two days."

"It's okay." Emma said automatically. "Henry said you were a lawyer."

"Yes, mostly business law." Regina nodded as she picked up the menu. "One of the great joys of my job is figuring out how to do just about anything, legally. And one of the great frustrations, and lawyers are hardly alone in this, is clients who want it done yesterday."

"Oh, I can understand that." Emma answered, picking up her menu as well. "I worked in bailbonds for a while, people think it's like an NCIS episode, one easy clue to another and done in a hour. It can take days, weeks, or more, to track people down if they don't want to be found."

"And then there's the red tape and the politics and..." Regina sighed as she scanned the menu. "But we're on vacation to get away from work, so, feel like a few appetizers? I'm sure the boys are hungry, and Robin just texted me saying they'd be back in about five minutes but you never know with traffic."

"No problem, I'm starving." Emma smiled, shifting to look at that part of the menu. "Appetizer platter?" It was an easy choice, onion rings and wings and cheese sticks and so many other comfort foods all rolled into one.

"What are you, ten?" Regina raised an eyebrow even as Henry let out of whoop of agreement. "They have amazing beef tatare here, and maybe we could get some escargo, or..."

"What are those?" Emma interrupted.

"Raw meat and snails." Henry said with a look of disgust on his face. "She doesn't make me finish anything I don't like, but she makes me try, like, everything."

"It's important to have a discerning palate, and to know what you like and don't, and..."

"I like ice cream!'' Roland broke in with a toothy grin.

Regina's smile warmed as she looked at the young boy. "I know you do, and we can have some for dessert. We're trying to decide what to eat before that."

"French fries!"

Roland's suggestion had Emma biting the inside of her lip to keep from laughing, and she saw Henry grinning at her before he said, "There are french fries on the appetizer platter."

Regina shook her head in surrender, her words sad but her eyes twinkling, "You've known Emma for five minutes and you're siding with her."

"I'm siding with onion rings and poppers." Henry retorted with a grin on his face.

Regina grinned back, tousling his hair even as she sighed dramatically. "I guess we are on vacation."

Henry smiled and high-fived Roland, then surprised Emma by reaching over the table and holding up his hand to her. She gave Regina a small shrug as she clapped hands with him.

Regina turned to look for a waiter even as Emma's phone rang, and she apologized as she glanced down at it, surprised to see a number and not a name from her address book.

"Emma Swan." Emma picked up her glass of water as she answered the unfamiliar number, noting it was the Storybrooke area code.

"Oh, good, I thought that was you." Mary Margaret's voice was familiar, her words confusing.

"Who else would it be?" Emma wondered, staring down into the depths of her water glass, swirling it in circles as she tried to figure out her friend's words.

"I just got a new phone so I have a new number, but Leo got a hold of it and somehow erased some of the names in my contacts. Not the numbers, just the names. So now I have to call eight people and see who they are, and they won't know who I am when I call and that's so strange, and I just don't know how he did it, did that and nothing else that I can find but..."

"Mom, are you okay?"

Emma had been chuckling as her friend babbled on, it didn't happen often but it was rather adorable when it did. Henry's words, and the concern in them, caused her to glance up from her water and note that the woman had gone dead pale. Her hands were both clenched on the table, and Emma could swear she was trembling slightly.

"Mary Margaret, let me call you back later, okay. I'm fine, nothing is wrong, I just can't talk right now, okay?"

"Promise?"

Emma was relieved when her friend heard the seriousness and truth in her voice, and easily answered that she promised before hanging up and leaning across the table towards Regina. "Ms Mills? Regina, are you okay?"

"Mom, you're scaring me."

At the boy's voice, Regina suddenly seemed to shake herself out of whatever trance she'd gone into, although her eyes had gone cold. She lowered both hands down to her lap, folding them carefully, though no color came back to her face as she turned to smile at Henry. "I'm okay, Henry, everything is going to be okay."

Emma tilted her head slightly, wondering at the emphasis the woman placed on the last words, but before she could ask what had happened Robin and Killian walked up to the table.

Robin took one look at Regina and sank into the empty chair beside her. "What's wrong, dear?"

"Robin, could you and Killian stay down here with the boys and eat? Ms. Swan and I need to have a little chat in private."

Emma's eyes widened in confusion at the barely hidden anger in the woman's voice. Including when they'd met yesterday, they had spent all of five minutes together, and they had spent it talking about food. Regina had been all smiles and teasing then, and Emma had no idea what had suddenly changed.

"What's going on, love?"

Killian laid a protective hand on Emma's shoulder, keeping an eye on Regina as he turned towards Emma. He knew from the confusion on her face that she had no idea, which she confirmed verbally a second later. "No clue."

"Regina?"

"Just watch the boys, Robin, please." Regina said calmly, her voice cool yet hints of her affection for him showing through even now. Then it chilled further, all warmth lost, before adding, "It's just a little girl talk."

"I stink at girl talk." Emma responded, honestly yet maybe a bit flippantly. She had no idea what had caused Regina's sudden personality change, and stayed firmly in her chair.

"Would I be an acceptable chaperone?" Killian asked softly, glancing towards the two boys who were both wide-eyed and maybe looking a bit nervous. He understood why Emma didn't want to go off alone with Regina, but he also didn't want the boys to see whatever was about to happen. Especially since he had no bloodly clue what any of this was about, and the fact the Emma didn't seem to either only compounded the confusion.

"Ms. Swan, I think you'd rather we discuss this alone." Regina replied. "But I've no objection."

"Emma?" Killian's voice was soft, and she turned her head up to regard him seriously. When she saw him glance toward the boys, she nodded and rose.

Killian's hand found the small of her back as he ushered them off down a hallway and into a small conference room he knew from passing a moment ago was empty.

Regina had followed in their wake and now closed the door with a soft but decidedly firm click, then took a deep breath before rounding on Emma. "You can't have him!"

"What?" Emma asked in confusion, having no idea what Regina was talking about. "Have who?"

"Henry!" Regina ranted while Emma and Killian watched her with befuddled faces. "How did you even find him? I know you were hinting you were good at tracking people, and you sure made a good first impression on him, but the adoption was supposed to be sealed, and I went over every word of that contract..."

Emma felt her head grow light, and she blinked rapidly as her vision started to cloud over.

 _Henry was her son._

She could hear Regina still snapping, but it sounded as if she were speaking through a door or a thin wall. She could hear Killian's worried question if she was okay from down a tunnel that sounded like rushing water.

 _Henry was her son._

Her eyes slid shut as her body grew lighter, and suddenly she was surrounded by Killian's scent, his arms firm around her as he settled her in a chair. She could hear his voice telling her to breath and tried to concentrate on doing just that.

 _In and out. In and out._

 _Henry was her son._

She could still hear voices, still feel Killian's arms around her, but in that moment she could do nothing but breath.

 _In and out._

Henry's earlier grin flashed through her mind and she could see Neal's smile.

The refrain to _It's a Small World_ starting playing though Emma's head, and she didn't know whether that made her want to laugh or cry.

TBC...


End file.
